Learning to Breathe
by shadowcat012
Summary: The only reason she kept moving was because she knew that life goes on. When challenges come, so do chances. A chance to grow. A chance for laughs. A chance to fall in love.
1. Prologue

**/Epilogue/**

**//I see you and you see me. But you only see me as you want to see me.//**

**//We are a puzzle, without you and without me we are not complete.//**

**//We connect to make a whole, only when the missing piece connects//**

**//We complete the puzzle.//**

**Black. What a sad color. Black. I stared into my reflection. I was covered in it. Black. From my shoes to the eye make-up I hardly wore I was dressed in it. It was out of character for me. I couldn't recognize the person staring back at me; the eyes were dull and they stood as if they were just an empty shell. Black. Consumed by it. Black. Numbed by it. **

**'What am I doing?'**

"**Kitani," A voice called gently from behind me. I couldn't even see their reflection, it was just a blur to me. "They're ready downstairs."**

**Kaze. One of my close friends. She looked so much older today and somber. I found myself envying her for the life that still seemed to pulse throughout her body, giving a warming aura. I looked away from my reflection. It was shameful. **

"**I'll be right there." I reply. Thankfully my voice didn't sound as dead and plain as I felt. It still had the strength and softness from before. My eyes start to sting. 'Before.' **

"**Kitani..." I felt Kaze's warm hands on my shoulders as she rested her head by the base of my neck where she just barely reached. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and turned to face her, breaking the contact between us but still remaining close. "We shouldn't keep them waiting if they're ready." I noticed the hesitation in Kaze's eyes, but she grasped onto my hand and led me down to where the others were.**

**My name is Kitani Hiratai. I'm sixteen years old and attend the public high school with my friends. I was born into a loving family of three. My mother, brother, who's my senior by three years, and I. There's no father involved on either mine or my brother's part but that didn't stop my mom from getting us everything we ever needed and more. My brother and I grew up properly and are always complimented when our mom would introduce us to someone new. **

**After my brother graduated, he took on a job that would have him leave us for two to three years. There was a huge fight between my mom and my brother about whether he would go or not; however, no matter the words that were said, he left anyway. My mom and I stuck it out, we developed a partnership where I would go to school, clean house and help with the yard work, while she would go to work, cover all the financials, and keep us fed. We had it good, I guess you could say. Yeah, we worked it out. She would go out with her friends and I would talk on the phone with mine. I usually stayed up till she came home and when she did we would sit on the couch in front of the television talking about how her night was. One night, however, I ended up falling asleep before she came home. I never heard her come in that night and at first I thought it was because I slept really hard. When I woke up the next morning, I found that her room was empty and her car wasn't in the driveway. It wasn't until later I learned about the accident. The drunk driving accident. **

**So here I am today. Her funeral. Everybody's here. My aunts and uncles, grandmother, cousins, people from her work, her out of town friends, my friends and they're families. But he's not here. I don't think he even knows. As I place a set of different colored flowers on her coffin, I say a small prayer for her and for the strength to tell him when he comes back. He still has a year. How do I do this? The color will eventually come back into this dull black and white world, and the sun will rise tomorrow. But it will rise on a world where you no longer exist. The colors will come, but they wont be yours. How do I keep going, when everyone is watching, expecting for me to stop?**

"**Well, how much do you want for it?"**

"**S-sorry?" I snapped back to find an elderly woman in a funny sun hat looking up at me with an annoyed expression on her face. **

"**The table, how much do you want for it?" She questioned again.**

"**Oh! Um..." I looked over at the dinning table she was referring to and felt a small tug in my gut. "Er, you're paying in american money, right?"**

"**Yes, dear girl, now how much would it be?" The woman answered irritably. **

"**Fifty." **

"**Dollars?"**

**I stared at her in confusion. Didn't she just answer me this question? "Yes. Is something wrong?"**

"**It's in such good condition, I expected it to be more."**

**I stared at the table with a pained expression. "Well, if you want to pay more..."**

"**Oh no! Fifty would be fine." She quickly shoved the money into my hand before scurrying off to find her husband to get the table. **

**I sighed and shoved the money into my shorts pocket. It was sunny this morning and particularly hot, which was a good thing. If it had been any other type of weather, I probably would've broken down by now. Today I'm selling everything in our house. Next weekend everything should be ready for the real estate people to start showing it off. Everything was being sold, from the lamps, candles, and utensils, to the furniture, washer machines, and stove. **

"**Here, Irving, the tag is still on the thing." The woman's voice caught my attention and I turned to see them struggling with the plastic wire. I walked over to them, silently pulled out my pocket knife, and sliced through it easily. "There you go. It's officially yours." I actually managed a smile when I said that. Geez. As I walked away, I crumpled the paper tag in my hand. Everything was sold. I dumped it into the nearby garbage bag. Everything. **

"**So, Kitani, you ready for school tomorrow?" Miharu sighed as she leaned over her bunk to look at me. I sighed as well and looked up. Miharu, my younger cousin by two years was sharing her room with me, being over generous in my opinion since earlier this year she had finally been able to move out from sharing with her younger sister who was asleep in the next room. Tomorrow was going to be her first year in high school and I could tell she was secretly seeking comfort. **

"**Nope. 'Course not."**

**Miharu's face fell and her head dropped to lay on the wooden railing. "Why not?" Her muffled voice questioned. I sighed again, not out of annoyance, just out of the subject we were on. "It's school, who would ever be ready for that?"**

"**Yeah, I guess you're right." Miharu mumbled before lifting her head and leaning back over the railing, out of my view. I heard her voice and knew she was just staring at the ceiling. "You scared?"**

**I was quiet for a moment as a flash of my mom came into view. "Are you?" I whispered. **

"**Sort of." She voiced softly.**

**I thought about this for a moment then turned on my side and tucked my arm under my pillow. "Don't let it bother you too much, Maru. Things tend to sometimes look gloomy and scary at night. Wait for tomorrow, because once you start living it, you'll realize that it's not that scary, you know?"**

**There was a long pause of silence. **

"**Huh?"**

**I paused, unsure if I had the energy to laugh or even smirk. Instead I just sighed. "Don't worry, Maru. Just live in the now and sleep." I mumbled before burying my head into the pillow. A strong want to cry washed over me spontaneously and I didn't want Miharu to witness it. It's just school. I've done school before. It's the same school as last year, nothing's changed there. I took a deep breath and slowly let it out, discouraged by the raggedness in which it left my mouth. Mom just wont be there to come home to...that's all. **

**The tears streamed from my clenched eyes and I fought back a sob. Poor Miharu. I'm probably making her feel awkward. **


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_'It's been awhile since I've said I'm sorry.'-Staind_

"**Tohru!" The boy Momiji yelled before bolting from his seat and out the door into the hallway. I watched him go for a moment before dropping my school bag on a desk by the window. Well, this year would probably be interesting, I've never had that kid in my class before. ...Was he wearing a girl's uniform?**

"**Good morning, Kitani!" I turned and saw the very hyper and outgoing Risu Hakai, coming into the class room with a small group of people trailing behind her. So this year it seems, she's very popular amongst the first years. There were three of them, two boys and a girl who seemed to be following her as if they were lost puppies. This popular sports girl just happened to be my best friend. **

"**G'morning, Risu."I try to smile, though it feels completely unreal. A part of me wonders when I'll be able to smile a real smile again. **

**Risu hopped onto one of the desk tops and sat there, staring at me, trying to see if I was alright without having to ask. **

"**Maybe you shouldn't have come to school today." She said softly after a moment. **

**I bit my lip and looked away from her penetrating gaze. "Think so?" I question, not really asking for an answer. I can't just shy away from the world, that would drive me crazy. **

"**WAAAAAAAAH! KYO HIT ME!!!!!!!!"**

**Both of our attentions were drawn to the commotion out in the hall. Risu turned back to me. "You have Momiji in your class?" She questioned with a huge grin on her face.**

"**Yeah, I guess so."**

**Risu let out a squeal, which I have to admit is very rare for her. "That's so cool! You're so lucky!"**

**I gave her a questioning stare. "Come on!" She grabbed my wrist, pulling me from my seat and dragging me towards the door where we could look out into the hall.**

"**He's so cute! You're gonna love him!" She continued. Pointing in the boy's direction Risu made him stand out from the group he was with. She was so bouncy and excited over seeing Momiji that I tried to laugh, though it only came out as a short scoff. Nn...I need to work on that some more.**

"**Well, we have the rest of the year to find out." I slipped from Risu's grasp and back into the classroom to my desk. **

**Once I sat down Risu placed her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. "No. Believe me. You'll end up thinking he's the cutest thing ever. Because, he really is!" She laughed towards the end.**

"**Oh great, another guy Risu's drooling over." A voice from behind us said. "Don't you have a boyfriend?"**

**Meet another of my close friends, Airesth Mujen, a small, fragile looking girl with an attitude that could send anyone home crying. Her crystal clear glasses shone in the morning sun rays as she looked up at us with misty gray eyes. Risu stuck her tongue out at Airesth before rolling her eyes. "Yes, I do. May I remind you before you go off drooling over 'Prince Yuki', that you have one too." A spontaneous 'oooh' went off in the background.**

"**I don't drool over him." Airesth crossed her arms and stared at Risu with half lidded eyes. **

"**Oh yes you do, who the heck are you trying to fool?"**

"**No one. Because I. Don't. Drool. Over. Him." **

**Risu scoffed and muttered under her breath, "Yeah, right."**

"**Listen you-"**

"**Hey! Look at that, the class is about to start." I stepped between the two. "Risu, you don't want to be late, right?"**

**Risu smiled, easily getting over the small feud. "Yup! See you guys at lunch!" She embraced me for a brief moment, before heading out the door, grabbing the attention of a group of guys in the back of the class room.**

"**Maelyn, she's leaving!" One of the two first year boys who'd followed her in pulled on the arm of the girl by him and ran out the door after Risu. **

**Airesth rolled her eyes. "She's such a jock." **

**Airesth left towards her desk on the other side of the room, leaving me to myself.**

**Oh man. I slowly slid down into my seat. The day was barely starting and I already felt thankful, hopeless, and frustrated all at the same time. How the hell that happens, I'll never really understand. Just breathe. I coached myself. Breathe. **

"**Miss Hiratai, are you ill?" The teacher questioned in the middle of her lecture. I snapped my head up from my palm and suddenly felt every eye in the class room on me. **

"**Er, no ma'am. Sorry." I sat up a little straighter and grabbed my pencil that had been lying there forgotten. She went on with the lecture and I did my best to keep up. I can't let my mind wonder. **

_**'Miss Hiratai, I'm sorry.'**_

**I gasped and drew my pencil away from the paper. My hand was shaking. **

_**'Your mother has sustained injuries that...'**_

**No. Stop it. **

_**'M-mom?'**_

**Stop.**

_**'Her pulse is dropping! Get her out of here!'**_

_**'NO! Mom!'**_

**Breathe, damn it! The bell rang dismissing first period. I stood up with the others, and since my hands were still shaking badly it took me awhile to shove everything into my book bag and hurry out the door. I ran into the girls restroom and was relieved to find it empty. I grabbed hold of a the edges of the sink and dropped my head, taking deep shaky breaths. **

_**'Maybe you shouldn't have come to school today.'**_

**Was she right? I turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on my face, gasping from the momentary shock. Should I have stayed at Miharu's house?**

"**This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world! And while she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her; when she smiles!" Risu sang into an empty water bottle. **

**I happened to join the group right in the middle of her performance. When she saw me approach them by the huge Sakura tree, she suddenly started to point to me as she sang. I slightly shook my head at her as I knelt down in the grass by Kaze who was already enjoying her lunch. **

"**Hey, Kaze."**

"**Hello, Kitani." She greeted with a warm smile. "Can you believe we have cleaning duty after school already?"**

**I frowned. "Already?"**

"**Yup." She nodded before taking a small bite of her food and continuing. "I checked the list this morning and its going to be you and me." **

"**You sound so glum about it, its only cleaning a class room." A voice said from behind Kaze. I glanced over her shoulder and saw Kovu; the tall gamer of the class with sharp green eyes and a lazy personality. A.K.A. Kaze's boyfriend. **

**Kaze rose an eyebrow at his remark. "Oh really? Well if you don't mind it so much, switch places with me. You do it today, and I'll do it the day you have to. Deal?"**

**Kovu glanced at me for a second before staring long and hard at Kaze's outstretched palm. He bit his lip in mock thought before nodding his head. "Deal." He clapped his hand down on hers and they shook on it.**

"**There you go, Kovu. I knew you'd end up on top eventually." Haku remarked while slapping him on the shoulder as he passed by. Haku is Airesth's boyfriend of one year. He can be like Kovu at times, I guess. They're both quiet and sometimes shy, but mostly lazy. A difference would be that Haku can open up more, you know, loosen up around people, like Airesth. **

**Kovu slowly removed his hand from Kaze's and glared unmercifully at him. Kaze blushed slightly and ducked her head to hide it, while I just sat there with a dumb expression on my face. **

**Risu who had heard everything and was now laying down on the grass looking up at the sky, commented with, "I love our conversations, they're so innocent."**

"**No they're not, what the hell are you talking about?" Another voice joined the group. Miharu stood over Risu with a raised brow at the stupid remark she'd just walked in on. I decided to back Risu up.**

"**I must welcome you, Miharu, to the grand world of sarcasm. Join us, and you'll see that that's what Risu was using." I said in a dreary voice before finally taking a bite of my food. **

"**Oh...Well...I knew that. She just sounded so stupid." Miharu covered up as she sat down in the grass.**

"**Hey!" Risu sat up to glare at Miharu who simply looked back with a blank expression. "That's not cool! You're supposed to show respect to your elders!" **

"**Says who?" Miharu challenged.**

"**Wha-Well, the elders!"**

"**Kitani, are you okay?" Kaze questioned quietly. I stared down at my food and sighed. "Yeah. I'm just not hungry anymore." I pulled myself up to my feet and looked around. "Anyone else have trash?"**

"**Yeah, take Risu, she's starting to bug me." Miharu said as her hand was trying to shoo Risu's away from her. **

"**You guys, just drop it." I sighed before turning and heading for the trash can. I can't believe I wasn't able to eat that much during lunch either. I frowned as I dumped everything into the trash can. Maybe when my smiles come back my appetite will too. A gentle breeze blew through and I sighed, looking up to the sky.**

**This sucks. **

**After school I stayed behind with Kovu to clean up the classroom. It was quiet for the most part. I guess you could say, the main thing we have in common is Kaze. So, even though we used to be a trio in middle school, it was always Kaze that had held us together...before they started going out. **

"**Hey."**

"**Huh?"**

"**Your mind's wondering off again." He referred to the spot that I continued to sweep over and over again. "Oh!" I stopped myself and reached down for the dust pan. "Sorry."**

**He just shook his head and went back to moving the desks around. We were half way done when one of Kovu's friends ran to the doorway. "Hey, what's up?" Kovu questioned while leaning against two desks stacked on one another. I stopped sweeping and looked up, slightly leaning against the broom. **

"**Coach is going crazy, man, I swear! Can you come the last few minutes of practice and help us out?" Man, the guy looked truly scared. See, this is why I don't participate in 'school' sports. Before Kovu could reply with anything, I spoke. "Yeah, he'll go right now."**

"**Really?" The guy perked up.**

**Kovu looked back to me, his expression reading, 'I will?'**

"**Yeah, you look like hell, so I think he should help you guys now." I replied with a nod. Kovu bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows as he looked around the classroom. I rolled my eyes. "Relax, Kovu, it's just half the room. I can do it. They need you, go." He glanced up at me, making his final decision and went to the door. Halfway out he stopped and turned back to me. "You won't tell Kaze, right?"**

**I was about to reply with a smart comment but found I didn't have one. "No. You're safe. Now go."**

"**Thanks." He was out the door and I turned back to look out the window. The sun's close to setting so I'll have to pick up the pace a bit. Twenty minutes passed and I was finally able to start putting the cleaning equipment away. My lip twitched a little as even putting away the equipment reminded me of my mother. How I would help her clean the kitchen after dinner. She would play the radio loud and we'd both end up dancing and singing as we did our tasks. She'd pull me close under her arm and kiss me on the top of my head...**

_**'Love you, baby.'**_

**Stop it. **

**They're nice memories...They're wonderful memories...But...**

**I hugged myself as tears threatened to fall. I can't think about them. Not here. Not now.**

**They're too painful right now. Right now. Breathe, breathe. In, out, in and out. I quickly straightened and grabbed the keys to lock up. I closed the cabinet doors and quickly clicked the lock closed. I whipped my book bag over my head so that it slung across my shoulder and stepped out of the room, turning the key in the lock and walking briskly toward the front office. I hastily brushed the tears from my eyes, trying to make it less noticeable and dropped the keys on the receptionist's desk. **

"**Thank you!" She called, though I still kept my quick paced walk and pushed open the doors to walk outside. I barely made it to a secluded bench in time before letting a sob escape my lips. I collapsed onto the stone bench and leaned forward to bury my face in my arms and knees. It was horrible. It was like I couldn't breathe unless I cried. No matter how much I tried to fight the choking sobs, they wouldn't stop. **

**I don't know how long I sat there just letting it all out, but when I finally did look up, the sun had nearly set already. I froze when I noticed someone else nearby, leaning against a tree. They had their back to me and half of it was concealed by the tree itself. I stared at their back for a moment, my mind a total blank and my vision a blur.**

"**Are you done?" They questioned in a monotone voice.**

"**Ngh." I dropped my head in shame. Someone had caught me crying, a stranger no less, and now I can't even properly respond to them. Droplets of tears that had still clung to my lashes dropped to my knees and once I realized this, I vigorously rubbed them away from my eyes. **

**The person remained silent and I felt as if they were waiting for me to say something. I took a shaky breath and cleared my throat as best I could. "I'm s-sorry." I picked myself up, though I couldn't muster the courage to stand completely straight, and made my way to head back to Miharu's home. **

"**Kitani, you're back." My aunt sighed in obvious relief. "Miharu came home saying that you had cleaning duty, but that was well over an hour ago." I saw the phone clutched in her right hand and a pad of paper in her left. Oh no, she was probably about to call people to see where I was. First thing you should know about my aunt; you never want to make her worry. You just don't.**

**I bowed apologetically to her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry. It's just that it took a little longer than expected."**

**She did look a bit annoyed, though I could see the resigned part of her shine through. "Fine. Just don't let it happen again. Call ahead next time, so we'll know." She rubbed her temples in small circular motions with her slender fingers, and I took that as my que to leave.**

**Miharu was already in the room sitting at her desk with all her homework opened up in front of her, though it didn't look as though she'd started anything.**

"**Hey," I sighed as I sat on the bottom bunk, dropping my school bag on the floor.**

"**Hey," She replied without looking up.**

"**How was your first day?" I questioned.**

"**It was alright I guess. But, you know, some guys are really starting to piss me off. Yours?"**

**I lay back into the soft covers of the bed and stare up at the ceiling. "...Alright. I guess...also..." I'm disappointed in myself. I really thought that I'd be able to make it at least one day...**

"**Hey. You telling me I got homework and you didn't?" Miharu questioned with a raised brow. I roll my eyes and drag myself over to where my bag lay at my feet. "Just had to remind me, huh?"**

**Well...maybe tomorrow.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_**'I told myself I wont miss you, but I remember what it feels like beside you.' -Hinder**_

Those words had been playing in my head all night, even when I was asleep. How do I know? I woke up with them already in my mind, playing over and over and over again. It's a nice song I'll admit, but its also depressing. Heh, what a great way to start the day, eh?

"Kitani, you ready to go?" Miharu asked as she walked back into the room after brushing her teeth.

I slung my bag across my shoulders and glanced around the room. "Now or never." I sighed.

As we walked down the sidewalk to school I noticed that Miharu was quieter than usual.

"You alright?" I questioned.

She seemed as if I had just pulled her back down to earth when she snapped her head in my direction with wide eyes. "Huh?"

I quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Oh. Sorry. I zoned out for a bit there."

"Yeah, are you okay?"

Miharu rolled her eyes. "You're asking ME this question." She said, I'm sure to herself.

"Well, yes. You're the one acting...strange?" I wasn't sure that was the right word, and apparently Miharu didn't think so either.

"Strange?"

I shook my head and looked away before a thought came to me. I slyly turned my head back to her. "Is it a boy?"

Miharu choked on her breath and stopped walking. "Why would it be a boy?"

I stopped and looked back at her. "I don't know, it was just a thought. But now I'm really curious. Is it a boy?"

Miharu blushed and stared at me hard. "No."

I dropped my gaze to the sidewalk before turning back to our destination, biting the inside of my cheek in thought. Miharu passed me and continued walking to school. "Come on we're going to be late. And why do you always bring up those things around me?" She added sourly. I watched her walking form for a moment before following behind. Feeling like a dork makes me wonder, whose the older cousin here, Miharu, me or you?

I managed to sneak into homeroom without much attention and quietly sat down in my chair. I dropped my head into my hands and took a deep breath.

"Not popular this morning,huh?"

I looked up behind me and saw another student from my first period. You could say he was one of the few that were adored by most. Like so many of the members from that Souhma family. What's he doing talking to me?

"Er, no. I guess not." I replied as politely as possible, though afterwards I hardly saw the point since it looked as if he wasn't even paying any attention. "Hm." Was all he said as he stared off into space.

Not knowing what I was supposed to do I sat there quietly. It made me a little uncomfortable that he remained silent also. Does he want something? Why? My social skills suck.

"So, you're...um," Come on, he's not exactly a total stranger, I can at least remember his name...can't I? "Hah...Hatsu..." I searched every part of my foggy memory to see if I could come up with his name, but I guess I never really caught it.

"Hatsuharu Souhma." He supplied for me.

"Oh." I muttered under my breath, followed by an apology.

"It's fine. I don't expect everyone to remember my name." He replied, still staring off into space. "Well, see you around." He added as he pushed up from the desk he'd been leaning against and walked away. Probably got bored. That's fine. I sighed. Seriously. Social skills. Suck.

Class dragged on and I still couldn't keep my head in the game. My thoughts felt like slush, my eyes felt watery and my chest felt heavy. When the bell rang it was the same as yesterday for me. I hurriedly packed up my stuff and made it out of the classroom to the girl's restroom. However, I wasn't as lucky as yesterday. There was a group of girls in there. No, worse. They were the "Prince Yuki" girls. I shuffled into an empty stall, hiding my face from them all the while. I pulled the cover down and fell onto it, dropping my head to my knees, trying desperately to keep my breathing even.

"So, just what are we going to do to Tohru Honda?" One of the girls questioned. There was a smacking noise followed by a yelp from that same girl.

"What was that for?"

"Number two, didn't you see? We're not alone in here anymore. Which means we'll have to move everything outside. Come on girls."

There was a scuffling as the whole lot of them exited the restroom. I couldn't tell who'd been talking and I didn't particularly care, I was just relieved they left. My chest was hurting more than ever and my breathing was coming in ragged. I wrapped my arms around myself and rocked back and forth.

"Just breathe...breathe...brea-" my voice was thick and it eventually was cut off as I bit back a sob.

"Hello?"

I gasped and bit my lip, looking up through blurred vision at the locked stall door. Someone else is in here? When did that happen?

"Are you okay?" The gentle voice questioned. I tried to speak, but nothing clear came out. I looked down and saw a pair of scuffed brown shoes on the other side of the door. She was quiet, I'm guessing still waiting for an answer, but when she realized that I wouldn't give one, she gave a different question.

"What's your name?"

I bit my lip and dropped my head in my lap. "I'm...er..." I couldn't bring myself to tell her this. Why did I only feel the need to cry at school? It's so stupid!

"My name's Tohru. Do you want to come out?" She prodded gently.

I sniffed as I looked back up. I felt the warm tears rolling down my cheeks as I slightly shook my head. 'Dummy, she can't see you.' I berated myself.

"No..." My voice croaked. I heard her sigh and could tell she was leaning her head against the door. It was quiet for a few more moments, except for my sniffling, when she decided that she was going to go. Before she was gone completely, I was able to call out a weak, "Thank you...Tohru."

She hesitated a moment. "It's no problem. If you need someone to talk to, I'm open." I think she was about to walk out when she exclaimed, "Oh!" She was in front of my stall again. "By the way, it's Honda. Tohru Honda."

Tohru Honda? "Thank...you..." I managed between breaths.

I ended up skipping second period and stayed in the stall. No one walked in the entire time, and I took that as a blessing. The bell for lunch was going to ring soon, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide from my friends. So, I urged myself to stand up, unlock the door, and step out into the tiled room. Stepping up to the mirror I didn't really have to look at my reflection to know that I was a mess. I turned the knob and let the cold water slip through my numbed fingers.

"_Whatever happens in life, know that I'll always be there for you; no matter what. Okay?"_

I clenched my jaw. 'Are you here with me now mom? If so-I miss you. I miss you so much. Why can't you come back? Just come back and everything will be fine. I don't care if you showed up in this hallway and started yelling out baby names to get my attention-just come back. Please.'

_'No matter what...'_

"Ngh..." I quickly splashed the cold water in my face and gasped. I stared up at my reflection with wide eyes. It was like a wake up call for the day. 'She's not going to come. No matter what. She's gone.' I saw the tears brim my eyes in the mirror and shakily rested my palm against the cool surface. 'She's gone damn it.'

"Mom..."

"Hey, Kitani, wait up!"

I stopped in the hall and moved over to the side as a couple passed by. Airesth was racing down the hall toward me; which meant that something was off, because I hardly ever see her run, not even in gym class.

"What? What's wrong?" I questioned as soon as she caught up with me. She clutched at her side absentmindedly and caught her breath.

"Where were you after first period?" She voiced, standing to her full height which was just up to my shoulder. "Haku and I were waiting for you."

"I'm sorry, the councilor called me in." I slightly turned and slowly began to walk, feeling awkward at having to lie to Airesth. She didn't seem to notice apparently, because she was still having a hard time catching her breath.

Once she stopped panting, I asked if she was alright and she just gave a bright smile and replied with a yes.

I briefly wondered where Haku was since he's usually seen with Airesth.

"Haku's sick today. I took him to the nurse's office earlier." Airesth informed as if reading my mind.

"Huh? Oh. Is he okay?" I slipped past a person who was walking out of a class room and looked ahead only to see Risu right in front of me. I nearly tripped over my own feet as I halted in my steps, trying not to walk into her.

"Risu, what are you doing?" I yelped, grabbing hold of the wall.

Risu smiled. "Aren't we jumpy today. Now come on! I'm already late for lunch as it is-we've got to hurry up and beat the rest of the crowd!" She grabbed onto my hand and started at a run for the cafeteria, dragging me along.

We arrived at the cafeteria only to find it very crowded. I couldn't even tell where the line ended or began, if there was one. "Okay girls, you ready?" Risu had a determined expression as she cracked her knuckles, her eyes glimmering as she scanned the mob for an opening.

"Welcome to the jungle." Airesth muttered under her breath, not going for the dramatics that Risu was trying to create.

"There!" Suddenly Risu pounced into the mob right on top of the tallest guy in line. There was another voice added to the quarrel of sounds that already existed in this place and I couldn't understand what the heck she was saying.

"What?" I called out. I searched the mob for Risu, having already lost track of her. Then, I saw her hand pop out of the moving bodies and her voice yell, "Get over here NOW!"

"You heard her, go!" Airesth pushed me into the mob first.

Once we were outside in the warm breeze, I felt myself calm down. We went to sit down at our usual lunch spot at the base of the sakura tree in the school courtyard. Risu took a seat where she would be the center of attention as Airesth and I sat down by Kaze and Kovu. Conversation would've been great, however today the two lovebirds seemed to be in a cuddly mood. After realizing this, Airesth and I scooted over to where Miharu sat talking with a couple of other first years.

"Okay, wait a minute before you start eating anything." Airesth stopped me with the chopsticks halfway to my mouth.

"What?"

"Were you able to get your work for your second period class?"

It took me a moment to realize what she was talking about before I remembered that I had skipped second period. "No, I'll probably just go after school."

Risu spoke in at this point. "You can't. We have sport try-outs after school today."

"Sport try-outs? Kitani, you're into sports?" Miharu questioned in between digging into her food.

"Um, yeah kind of. Do I have to go, though?" I asked Risu.

"Hey! You promised!" Risu shot up from her sitting position to fix me with her brown-eyes.

"Er," I felt my cheeks flame as I ducked my head. "Well, yeah, but...I'm sorry." I mumbled.

From the corner of my vision I saw Risu tense and then her shoulders droop. "Oh, that was...before...huh?" She mumbled back.

"Geez, Risu! You really know how to bring everyone down!" Airesth exclaimed before smacking Risu over the head.

I shot my head up when I heard Risu gasp in pain. "Airesth!"

"Hey what was that for?!" Risu exclaimed, clutching the back of her head. "That hurt you know!"

"Well, no duh, it was supposed to." Airesth retorted.

"It's not like I meant to!"

"Doesn't change the fact of the matter that you did!"

"Airesth, leave her alone. She didn't mean anything by it, you should know that by now." I mumbled.

Airesth frowned, but became quiet on the matter none the less. Risu returned to eating her food, though she made it seem like a burden the way she was just shoving the food in her mouth and glowering as she chewed. The group became quiet and I felt as if it were my fault.

"You know, I'll just go get the work right now." I stood up with my food tray and walked away, shaking my head at the ones who were about to object to my departure. That didn't stop Risu, though.

"Hey, wait up, I'll go with you!" She jumped up from the tree, dusted off her skirt and hurried after me.

"So where were you really during second period?" Risu questioned as we entered the school building. I glanced at her, though she was still staring forward. I frowned deeper, not wanting to lie to my best friend, but also not wanting to confess a breakdown.

"I...skipped..." I quietly answered.

Risu sighed. "Well I know that, I was there. You can ask Haku, he'll tell you how I was freaking out."

I stopped walking by a closed classroom door and stared at the floor. Risu stopped walking and turned back to me. I slowly lifted my left hand to rub my right arm in a nervous manner.

"I...guess I...panicked...in first period and..."I leaned against the wall at my left. I might as well say it, she probably already knows. I took a deep breath. "I couldn't make it to second period. I guess it was too much for me, you know?" I glanced up at Risu. I couldn't understand her expression, not really. I just saw sadness and a bit of pity. Maybe that's all there really was. She looked up at me and gave a sad smile.

"No. I don't know, but I think I understand a little bit. So what was it this time?" She prodded gently.

"Hm?" I lifted my head up to her again. What was it? "I...don't know." I don't feel right at all. These break downs are like timed bombs, only I don't know for when they are set-they just go off at a random moment. And I thought I was better enough to attend school normally.

Risu took a deep calm breath and began to talk in a breezy voice. "Well, come on. We don't want to miss the teacher, she'll probably lock the door on us before we even have a chance to speak to her!"

I forced a small smile for Risu. "Yeah, you're right." I tried to sound just as breezy as I pushed away from the wall and followed Risu back to our second period classroom.

This isn't good. It's almost been a month and its as if only a week has passed. I feel as though I haven't progressed at all.

Mom. Mom, please help me. I don't want to forget you, but I don't want to spend everyday in sorrow. Mom...I'm so confused. I want to live life. To live the life that you gave to me. But I feel so guilty to live, when you cannot. Am I moving on too quickly? I need your guidance, Mom. Your strength. I need you.

I couldn't do the try-outs with Risu after school. I felt bad as she walked away towards the field and also a little jealous when others who were going to the try-outs came out of nowhere to walk with her. I mentally scolded myself. I was being selfish. Before I could give any more thought on the matter, I began to search for Miharu so that we could head home together.

Imagine the surprise I felt when I found out that my lazy, anti-working, younger cousin had left to the field to try out for sports. So, I had to head back towards the field to find out what the deal was. The only way non participants could come close to the field was to sit at the bleachers. I headed for the least populated side of the stands, since I didn't really know anyone, and searched the many white t-shirted teens on the field for Miharu. I guess, luckily, she found me first.

"Kitani, what are you doing here?" She questioned as she ran up to the wired fence that separated the bleachers from the track and field. I stood up from the bleacher and stepped up to the fence.

"I heard this is where you were and came to see if it was true. So, you're seriously going to try out for this stuff?"

Miharu frowned a bit defensively. "Well, it's something new. And, I've been itching to do something; I've been feeling really useless lately."

I dropped my eyes for a moment, before raising them again in a hopeful manner. "Well, okay then. Did you tell your mom already?"

"Well, no duh. I'm not willing to get in trouble for a stupid try-out." She grumbled.

I smirked. "Yeah, true." I glanced around the field and spotted Risu. "Well, I guess I'll wait for you then."

Miharu seemed alarmed by this. "What? Why?"

"Well, I don't really feel like walking back by myself, and I made you walk alone yesterday already..."

A whistle blew and I could see Miharu bouncing on her toes in anxiety.

"Is that okay with you?" I questioned.

Miharu whipped her head back to the field before quickly looking back at me. "Yeah, that's fine I guess. You better not make fun of me, though!" With that she turned from the fence and bounded off back to the field. I sat back in the bench and suddenly had doubts about staying. I would be sitting around doing nothing but watching other people do stuff. Enough time to let my mind wander to things that I don't want to think about. I bit my lip. And also, if Risu sees me I know she's going to be disappointed that I didn't participate with her when I obviously could've spared the time after all.

I sighed. I'm so great at making decisions.

AN: There's chapter two. What'd you think?


	4. Chapter 3

Heh heh, clumsy me. I forgot about the whole disclaimer deal, didn't I?

Fruits Basket doesn't belong to me. The characters (not including the ones I made up) all belong to Natsuki Takaya.

The quotations at the beginning of each chapter are pulled from songs, and they belong to the original artist or group that sang/wrote them.

This should cover for the chapters before and after this one.

Enough of that; enjoy this chapter! 3

**Chapter Three**

_**'Love is all around you. Your universe is full. But in my world, there is only you.' -Sr-71**_

When I woke up this morning, there wasn't such a heavy weight on my chest and I briefly wondered why. Maybe today wont be so bad? I could only hope.

Poor Miharu, though. She didn't exactly wake up as gracefully as she does most mornings-and when I say that, I mean she woke differently then just cursing the rising sun for being so bright.

"Maru! Kitani! Mom says, up, up! Get up!" Miharu's younger sister barged into the room with some kind of noise makers and began to run about, yelling back and forth.

"Agh! Curse you, Telane!" Miharu exclaimed as a flying object landed atop her head, waking her up even more since, "What the hell?! Why is this wet?!"

"Mom says get up!" Telane then ran out the door, slamming it behind her.

Miharu groaned as she lay back into her sheets. "Ah! My blankets are wet!" Before I could register what she had said with my groggy mind, I saw she had jumped over the railing, landed on the floor and sprinted out of the room.

"Dang, Miharu, you better have made the team." I muttered while scratching my head and rolling over to get out of bed. I looked over at the clock on the wall and felt my eyes widen slightly. "It's that time already? Shit, we're going to be late." I pushed myself up and started looking for my school clothes.

Miharu and I ended up having a rushed morning, though being the lazy beings that we are, we weren't as fast as we could've been. What also seemed to slow us down was Miharu rambling on and on about how annoying her sister was and how she could've had just a few more minutes of sleep.

"And I was having a good dream too!" She exclaimed as she jumped over a puddle of water in front of a corner store.

"Look, there's the school up ahead." I panted.

The very first bells could be heard and we pushed ourselves to go faster.

"So you didn't make it on time to first period, huh?" Risu remarked dryly as she sat down in the desk in front of mine in second period.

"Who told you?" I asked while resting my chin in my palm, having already taken my seat.

"Segi. After he saw you standing out in the hall by your classroom." She answered with a sigh.

"Geez, nice to know I'm being watched." I muttered. Risu pushed against my forehead with two fingers. "Don't go getting a big head on me. He was on his way to the restroom."

I rolled my eyes. I guess I need to make my sarcasm more obvious.

Segi; my best friend's boyfriend. He's a quiet guy, keeps to himself most of the time, except, of course, when it comes to Risu. Tall swimmer dude with dirty blond hair and blue eyes. Don't really know much about him, just that he has other friends and he's head over heels in love with Risu. Why would I get a big head over him? Come on, Risu.

The teacher, Sensei Hirotachi walked into the room with a folder of papers in hand and an air that let everyone know something was up. He had a small smirk on his face and his hair fell just over his eyes, signaling that we were in for a surprise. Could you guess?

"Once everyone is in their 'assigned' seats, we will begin." He stressed the word 'assigned' as he looked directly at Risu and I.

Risu, being the brave girl she is, raised her hand as she stood from the desk.

"What is it, Miss Hakai?"

"Sensei, if we don't get to our assigned seats, does that mean the class wont start?" She asked hopefully, though there was a hint of tone that let everyone know she wasn't really serious.

Sensei Hirotachi's smirk grew. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, Miss Hakai? No. I'm afraid that if you don't sit in your assigned seat then you'll just have to be sent out of the class room. Would that work for you?"

Risu shook her head and sat down in her own seat two rows over. "No, that's alright."

"Okay, now moving on. Today you will all be assigned a take home project. It will be due one month from now. You will not be allowed to work on it in class, if I see it, it will be sent to the trash can. You may use the school library, that is what it's there for. Outside of class is fine, though I'm sure, here at school you already have enough work." He moved over to the chalk board and raised his hand to start writing down a list of names.

Haku, who was sitting next to me, leaned over and whispered, "What do you think those are for?"

I shrugged.

"Okay," The teacher turned back around to face the classroom. "Up on the board, you see your names paired off, two to a set. The name you are paired with is the person you will be working on this assignment with." As he spoke, he walked about the classroom, up and down the rows, placing a sheet of paper on certain desks; including mine. He circled back to the front of the room. "These are your topics. You are to get together with your partner and work on this on your own time. Now. Putting that aside, let's get to today's lesson."

I fingered the sheet of paper before slowly flipping it over. After silently reading the topic I lifted my eyes back to the chalkboard where the characters read: "Machi Kuragi and Kitani Hiratai."

I glanced across the room to where Kuragi sat. She had her head bent so that her hair fell over her shoulder, like a veil shielding her face from view. I've never talked with her before, and the times I've had her in class, I've noticed that she's not one to talk much. This would most probably mean that I'd have to do the talking. I don't mind really, its just...

I sighed.

It's nothing. It's just a project.

"So we've both got people who don't talk much, huh?" Risu was saying at our lunch spot under the tree.

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Who's your partner?"

Risu broke her chopsticks and started on her lunch before answering, "Haru."

"Haru? Who's Haru?" I asked.

"Haru. Souhma. Hatsuharu." She said each slowly, only getting a reaction from me on the last one.

"Oh, him." I said with realization. "He talks, doesn't he?"

Risu shrugged. "I guess. Yeah, more than your girl does."

"Who are we talking about?" Kovu questioned as he sat down.

"Our partners for a project we have." Risu answered. "Where's Kaze?"

Kovu shrugged at her question and asked his own. "Which class do you have the project in?"

"Hirotachi."

"So I hear you guys have a project in Hirotachi's class." Airesth said as she and Haku joined us.

"Yeah, big surprise there." Risu grumbled. I shook my head.

Airesth rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a baby, it's not that bad."

Risu stopped eating. "Who's being a baby?"

"You are." Airesth replied as she began to share her food with Haku.

"I am not! Even if I were, I think I'd have a right to be complaining. It's only the third day back."

"It's not that bad." Airesth repeated.

"So what's your topic?" Kovu questioned me on the side as Airesth and Risu continued their little dispute.

"Oh, um," I pulled my bag over and pulled out the assigned paper. "Something about athletics and whether they help or hinder students when it comes to school education." I passed the paper over to him.

"That'll probably be fun." He commented dryly before passing the paper back to me. "Hopefully I'll get an interesting topic. Like video games."

I stopped, looked up at him, and we just shared a funny look for a moment.

"Video games, are you serious?" I questioned. Kovu just gave a small smile as he started on his lunch.

"Serious about what?" We both looked up to see Segi standing over us with a curious look on his face. He crouched down by Risu and wrapped his arm around her shoulders in a brief hug.

"Oh, before I forget; you're going to have a project for Hirotachi's class." Risu informed as she pulled away from Segi and went back to eating her food.

"What kind of project?" He questioned curiously.

"It's a partner project over random topics he hands out." I answered.

"So he assigns the partners?" Kovu asked.

"Yeah, Haku got stuck with some random chick in their class." Airesth informed followed by a nod from Haku.

"Who're you partnered with?" Segi gently questioned Risu. She gulped down the food she had been chewing and casually replied with, "Hatsuharu."

For some reason Segi seemed to be troubled by this. His eyebrows furrowed together and his palm came up to rest around his mouth. "Souhma?" He mumbled to Risu.

"Yes," She turned to him curiously, catching his troubled tone. "Are you okay?"

"Is there any way you could get a partner change? See if you can get with Kitani or something?"

Risu and I glanced at eachother in confusion.

"No. I think we're both fine with our partners." She answered slowly. "What's up with you?" She questioned, trying to see into his eyes, but he wouldn't look at her till he stood up. "Can I talk with you?"

Risu rolled her eyes and looked around at us. "Are you going to make me stand up and leave my lunch behind?" She retorted, annoyed at the fact that she already knew the answer and that she'd end up having to do that anyway. "Fine." She sighed, rising to her feet and walking off with Segi.

Weird, I thought.

"It's hard to tell who's whipped more, Segi or Risu." Airesth commented as she watched the two walk away, taking a bite from her food.

"Mm," Kovu mumbled as he began to play with a strand of Airesth's hair.

Kaze joined us a little after that, though she didn't give a clear answer to where she had been. Miharu hadn't shown up so that left me with the couples. That. Was. Great.

I looked around at the small group of people sitting under the tree before standing up and stretching. I caught Airesth's and Haku's attentions.

"I'm going to go see where Miharu's at. I'll catch up with you guys later." I gave a short wave before leaving the shade of the tree. Miharu hadn't said anything this morning about doing something for lunch. Maybe something came up? I sighed and looked at my watch once I left the courtyard. The chances of finding her before the bell rang weren't high, so I decided to just walk around for a bit. She's a big girl, she can take care of herself.

Man! Then why the heck am I so worried?!

I was back inside the building, taking my shoes off and placing them inside a little locker. Walking down the hallway I didn't know where I was going and to be honest, I felt pretty stupid. I stopped and leaned against the wall to look out a window.

Everyone out there was playing, laughing, talking; they were out there, doing things.

'Useless'. Miharu had used that word the other day. Why would she say something like that? Stupid question, nevermind. I sighed. The way her eyes dulled when she said it...bugs me.

The bell rang for third period.

Third period. Not much really happens in this class and being the third day of the school year, that says, well, very little actually. None of my friends are in this class so I just sit quietly while others converse and joke.

Today, however, I have to break out of my little shell and go over and speak to Machi Kuragi.

She sat on the other side of the room from me, so I actually had to go out of my way for this. Way to make me nervous you dang seating chart.

"Um, Machi?"

She slowly glanced up at me with a dull gaze, saying nothing.

"I'm Kitani Hiratai. We're partners for the project in Sensei Hirotachi's," I explained. She just stared at me for a moment before moving her eyes back to the book before her. Feeling a bit discouraged, I looked to the book, then back up at the clock at the front of the class. "Um, you haven't seen the paper with our assignment yet, have you?" I rumaged through my bag for a moment and pulled out the paper, handing it over to Machi. She didn't exactly take it, so I placed it on her desk before her.

"It's on sports and such. Do you think...er...do you have any ideas on how we can approach this?" I asked hopefully.

Her index finger toyed with the edge of the paper as she slowly moved the paper over her book to read through the topic.

"You can sit down." She indicated the empty desk in front of her and I gave a small smile before taking the seat.

It was slow and a little uncomfortable, but we were able to get through some ideas for the project. It was interesting, listening to her thoughts on the subject and some ideas on how to carry them out. I had a feeling, though, that Machi's heart wasn't really into the whole thing.

There isn't a student who is exactly ecstatic about having to do a project, but I don't think that was necessarily it. It made me wonder for a moment, but then I decided that it wasn't any of my business.

The bell rang, startling me. I saw that Machi was giving me a blank look so I mumbled an apology before getting up and getting my things to leave. Machi was heading out the door so I had to call out to her before she left. She stopped and turned to me.

"Um, do you think we could get together sometime to work on this some more?"

She remained quiet as she thought. "I don't know. Whenever is good for you." She answered before turning back around.

I hesitated. "Um, can you make it to the library tomorrow after school?"

"Fine." She replied and walked out the door.

Okay. A little strange, but...I think it'll be alright.


	5. Chapter 4

Hi! Its...well, me, the one writing this story. I'm disappointed because there's only been one review and I'm trying my best on this. I don't know if people are just not reading this, or, are reading it, but not leaving a review. Kinda frustrating. But PLEASE leave a review! I would be SO THANKFUL if you did!

Thank you knightedchild! You're my first and so far only reviewer! Thanks for telling me about the "prologue." : p nervous laughI can never seem to get it right.

**Chapter Four**

_'As I go, remember all the simple things you know.' -All American Rejects_

Sad to say, that the weight that was gone yesterday, was back when I woke up this morning. It hurt just to move, but with Miharu and her family, I made myself push it aside and ignore it.

After getting dressed, I walked into the kitchen to wait for Miharu. My aunt was behind the counter finishing off her coffee. "Oh, Kitani. Before I forget, your uncle and I have to work late tonight, so can you pick up Telane from school after you get out?"

"I have that project after school. I told you about it last night." I reminded her.

"Well, can you pick her up before you work on your project? Miharu has practice right after school; she can't get away."

"Yeah, sure, I'll do it." When she put it that way, I know she had a whole speech prepared. Better to just agree to it and save her the breath. When she gave me one of those 'what was that for?' gazes, I just gave a weak smile and walked over to the refrigerator to get some juice or something.

"Miharu, hurry up, or you're both going to be late again!" My aunt suddenly yelled out.

"I'm going!" Miharu's voice yelled back from behind one of the closed doors in the hall. I sighed and closed the refrigerator door. Never mind.

After school let out I had to hurry over to Telane's elementary school which was down the street. Hopefully Machi wont mind if I'm a little late; goes the same for Telane. I had a harder time getting over here then I thought I would, so I was a little late for her also.

She was standing outside the gates on the sidewalk, a stranger standing in front of her. He didn't look old enough to be a teacher, let alone be a parent. Was he talking to her?

When I was within hearing distance, I didn't like what was being said.

"So you're mommy and daddy aren't coming for you? Do you need a ride home?" He was leaning over her. What was he trying to do?

"No. That's alright, she's got a ride." I stepped up to Telane's side and placed a hand around her shoulder, bringing her closer to me.

The guy looked at me, somewhat startled and a bit annoyed, though it was all eased over quickly by a polite smile. "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. She just looked so lost by herself."

"That's okay. I was running a little late, myself, so it's my fault." I moved Telane behind me and over to the side I had just come from. When I looked into his eyes I felt a shiver run up my back. "We have to be going now, but thank you for worrying." I bowed my head respectfully though I kept a wary eye on him.

The man smiled and slightly bowed back. Giving a polite smile, I nodded to him, then took hold of Telane's hand and led the way back down the street to the school. I looked down at her worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Telane nodded up at me with a bright smile. "Yup! I had a fun day! Guess what I learned!"

She went off on a giddy tirade on the things she had done that day and said nothing of what had just happened. I guess it wasn't that bad, it could've been worse. But I couldn't help thinking about what would've happened if I had arrived a minute later. It's strange. Did he have a secret motive? It's very possible these days. I mean, a total stranger offering a ride to an elementary student; what the hell?

"Where are we going?" Telane asked curiously as she looked around her surroundings.

"I have some things I need to be doing right now at the school, so we're going to be there for awhile. Do you have any homework or anything to do while you wait?"

"Uh-huh." She replied, destracted by all the people we were passing. That's right, there's practice going on, no wonder there was anyone at all that were passing.

The school library was open after school hours, thankfully, because otherwise we would've had to go all the way across town.

"Can I listen to this?" Telane held up a portable music player, one of those new expensive ones.

"Whoa, where did you get that?" I questioned, taking it from her small fingers and examining it in the sunlight.

"Dad gave it to me!" She said proudly.

I laughed a little. "Yes you can listen to it. Just make sure to keep it down so no one else can hear, okay?" I handed her back the device and pulled open the door to the school, letting her enter first, then following after.

I led her over to the library and once inside, I sat her down at a table to help her unpack her things. I caught a glimpse of her 'homework' and began missing the elementary level work just a little. Once she was settled I patted her shoulder and began to look around the library. Not many people were here, but I did catch sight of someone.

Risu looked up from her work just then and waved at me. I managed a smile and waved back. She stood up from the table she was sitting at and joined me by Telane.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" She asked with a warm smile.

"I'm here to work on Hirotachi's project. What are you doing here? I thought the sports people had practice today?"

"Nah, that was for first years. I'm supposed to be working on that project too. Only, my partner hasn't shown yet."

I cringed at her tone. "Been waiting long?"

"Yes." She sighed.

"You want to wait with us? I don't think mine is here either."

"Sure!" She went back to the table she'd been sitting at to get her things, then bounced back over to ours. We sat down and waited about fifteen minutes until Machi showed up.

"Sorry I'm late." She mumbled.

I turned at the sound of her voice and smiled. "It's alright. Risu's been waiting longer." Risu grumbled at that, though I ignored it and indicated the empty seat across from me to Machi. She nodded in acknowledgement then silently took the seat.

"Hi! I'm Risu." Risu held out her hand to the girl that was now sitting next to her. Machi tentatively shook Risu's hand with her own before letting go and looking down at the table.

"So, you're Machi, right? I think I had you in a class last year, but I didn't get to talk to you much."

Machi remained silent until she realized that Risu was patiently waiting for a reply.

"Yeah," She mumbled, dropping her head even lower. I guess she was feeling uncomfortable.

"Um, Machi, do you want to start where we left off yesterday?" I brought up gently. She nodded.

"Great, so now I have to wait for him alone, huh?" Risu dropped back into her seat, looking and sounding defeated.

"He'll show, don't worry. He probably just got lost or something."

"Mn..." There was a small smile somewhere on Risu's features as she contemplated the idea, though she did do a good job at keeping it hidden behind a frown. I felt bad that Risu was having to wait, but I knew that I had to start working with Machi so that she wouldn't be wasting her time doing something she obviously doesn't feel comfortable doing.

We spent about an hour or so working, and Risu just gave up on waiting and started making small conversations here and there.

She especially tried to talk with Machi since she believed that anyone and everyone could talk with someone and that making friends was next to the best thing in the world. For a moment I thought she was going to give up after another failed attempt at a conversation since Machi kept dodging her questions, but then Machi asked a question of her own. Risu was more than happy to answer. I smiled at that.

"Er, Kitani?" Risu whispered. I looked up from my notes and saw that she was pointing at Telane who was sitting next to me. I turned to my cousin and saw that her head was buried in her arms, her curls of hair rolling onto the table top.

"I think she's asleep." Risu was stage whispering now and a smile found its way to my face, it was small, but it felt more real then others I've been giving lately.

"We should wrap it up." Machi said as she stood up.

"Yeah, you're right." I agreed and stood up as well to start gathering papers that had spread themselves across the table over the time we'd been there. I shoved most of them into my bag while Machi offered to take the rest home with her.

"Are you going to wake her up?" Risu referred to the still sleeping girl.

"Nah, I'll just carry her." I decided as I slung my bag across my shoulder.

Risu rose an eyebrow at me. "You're going to spoil your kids rotten, aren't you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Nope. Just the right amount, Risu." I replied.

I packed up all of Telane's things then carefully slipped the bag onto her back. Machi and Risu waited for me by the library exit as I lifted the sleeping child onto my back and adjusted her weight to where she held snugly to me.

"Seriously, you're going to spoil them like crazy!" Risu stage whispered as I joined them. I shook my head in dismissal of the comment.

"I'm going this way." Machi said, referring to the opposite direction we were headed.

"Oh, okay then. We'll see you tomorrow-"

"Hey! I'm going that way too! I'll walk with you!" Risu said, cutting me off. She ran up to Machi, turned and waved to me. "See you tomorrow, Kitani! If you see Haru, tell him I'm going to kick his ass!"

"Yeah, bye!" I called back before turning around and making my way out of the building. It was hard putting on my shoes again and I ended up having to wake Telane up anyway so that she could put on her own shoes. She rubbed her still sleeping eyes as we headed out of the building and held onto my hand. "Kitani, can you carry me?" She mumbled.

I shook my head. "Come on Telane, you're a big girl."

She dropped her head against my arm and closed her eyes.

"Okay, tell you what. When we get closer to your house, I'll carry you, okay?" I'm bargaining with an elementary kid. Yup. I think I may just be a push over.

The sun was setting in the sky and it casted an orange glow on everything in the city. As I walked down the path that led off the school grounds, I wondered if Miharu was supposed to wait for us, or if she had already headed back. It's times like these I wish I still had my cell phone. That, and that Miharu hadn't lost hers a little over a year ago. I sighed.

The street lights were slowly flickering on.

Come on Kitani, make a decision...

Telane was nodding off as we stood on the sidewalk and I had to gently nudge her to keep her awake. Worse case scenario: I go out of my way to the track and field, find she's not there and head back to her house.

"Fine." I sighed.

Putting aside the fact that there were more worse case scenarios, I turned away from the city streets to head back towards the school field. We walked up to the wired fence and leaned over it to get a clear view of the whole field.

"What are we looking for?" Telane questioned.

I sighed and leaned back to look down at Telane.

"Your sister-but she's not here, so we're going to be heading back to your house." I turned and looked around at the empty bleachers. "She better have left for home, if not, I'm going to hurt her." I added mostly to myself.

That's an empty threat of course and if Risu had been here, she would've called me on it. "Okay, Telane," I looked down to her and gave a short smile. "We're heading back now. Where you can sleep on your own bed." She looked up at me through half lidded eyes and slowly nodded.

The streets leading to the neighborhoods are somewhat quiet, though there're many cars passing. Halfway to the house Telane starts to ask me to carry her. After about five minutes of her whining and my skirt being tugged at, I finally relented.

"Fine Telane. Get up." I crouched down in front of her so that she could wrap her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. "Got it?" I made sure she had a secure hold before lifting myself back up. "Okay, just don't fall asleep, you hear? I'll most likely have a hard time waking you up when we get there."

She just nodded into my shoulder before resting her head down and closing her eyes. It wasn't long till I felt her even breathing on my neck and I knew she had fallen asleep.

"Way to listen," I sighed with a short nod of my head.

I'm not sure when it actually started, but after passing a corner shop about two blocks away from the house, I noticed that there's a group following a few paces behind me. It doesn't feel right at all. If they were just walking like a regular group, wouldn't there be talking, laughing, joking, or something? These people are holding back, keeping their distance from me, whispering.

Crap. I'm not even that close to the house yet and up ahead there's a gap in the lights. Soon there will be plenty of places to hide in shadows.

I started to chew the inside of my lip and tightened my grip on Telane. I heard a whistle from behind and decided to ignore it and keep my pace. The idea was working out alright until three girls stepped out of the darkness up ahead, blocking the path leading to Miharu's house. I slowed my pace and glanced across the street.

"Don't even think about it bitch." One of the girl's up ahead growled.

I grimaced at that and managed a small glance at Telane to make sure she was asleep and couldn't hear that. I stopped and locked gazes with, I'm guessing, the lead girl.

"What are you looking at you twit?" She snapped.

"I just want to get through." I said, noticing that the group from behind had closed in.

"What the hell do we care what you want?" Another sneered. "You've got nerve coming through our territory without our permission."

Seriously? I really wanted to snap back at them, but I decided against it and let it out in an impatient breath.

"You want to start something, bitch?" The girl from before questioned, stepping forward with her fist clenched.

"Thought you didn't care what she wanted." Shit. That's what I was about to say. I turned to see a shadowed figure standing behind the group of girls who had been following us.

"What do you want?" One demanded. "This isn't any of your business."

The shadowed person stepped into view and most of the girls surrounding me gasped. I glanced at them curiously.

The person was tall and dressed in black attire with silver necklaces dangling around their neck and glinting in what little light there was. Hatsuharu Souhma. What's he doing here?

All eyes were on him as he casually stepped up beside me and grabbed a hold of my elbow. He looked at the girls before us and said rather politely, "Would you mind moving, please. She has to get the little one home." His voice left little room for argument. He stepped forward, pulling me along, and passed the girls who were in shock as they watched him. I didn't let my guard down though till I couldn't see them behind us anymore.

I turned forward, keeping my gaze on the ground and sighed. He didn't say anything as we were walking and I was battling with myself to say thank you.

"Uh," I snapped my mouth shut and bit my lip. "Thanks for that." I mumbled.

"It was nothing." He replied, letting go of my arm and slipping his hands into his pockets. "How's she doing?"

I turned my head to Telane and saw her sleeping face. Normally I would think how cute she looks; but right now, her mouth is hanging open against my shoulder and drool is seeping into my shirt. Telane. Man, I wonder if she got any in my hair.

"...She's doing fine." I sighed. "If she's comfortable enough to drool, I'm sure she didn't hear anything." I added under my breath.

"Ah. I thought I saw something in your hair." He voiced.

"Geh," My eyes widened but then I just dropped my head and laughed a little. "Tsh. Yeah, that would be it."

"Looks like someone's home." He stopped in front of a driveway and I looked up to see the sliding fence that guarded Miharu and Telane's house. There was a light on in one of the second floor windows. Miharu's room.

"Yeah. Probably Miharu." I turned to look at him and gave a small smile. "Thanks again for, um, that." I jabbed my thumb over my shoulder then quickly put it back under Telane's right leg before she could slip off my back.

"You should be more careful when you walk through this neighborhood after a certain time. Those girls meant business."

I nodded my head. I felt as if I were being scolded.

"Do you think it's going to rain?" He asked, looking up at the sky.

"Why?" I questioned.

"Because I keep seeing these flashes of light. Maybe it's lightning?"

I looked around and felt a little like laughing. "Er, it's not lightning."

He looked back down at me. "No?"

"No. Those girls from earlier? Um, they're taking pictures of you." I pointed down the dark street where you could occasionally see a girl behind all the flashes from multiple cameras.

I cringed against all the flashing lights and turned back to him. "I'll see you at school tomorrow, Hatsuharu."

He turned back to me and nodded. He was restraining his annoyance, I could see it in his eyes. And it looked as if it were taking a lot of effort. I looped Telane's legs together in front of me so that I could use both my hands to pull open the sliding gate. Once I stepped inside and onto the property I was able to put Telane down along with my school bag. Telane was awake enough to grab her backpack and slowly make her way to the front door. I turned back to the gate and was about to close it when I remembered.

"Hey, Hatsuharu."

He turned his head to me, he still hadn't moved from where he'd been standing.

"Risu, my friend, you partner for Hirotachi's class; wanted me to tell you that she's going to kick your ass for making her wait this afternoon at the library."

He tilted his head to the side for a moment as if trying to recall who Risu was, then looked at me with blank eyes.

He wasn't saying anything and I began to feel a little nervous. "Just...thought I should tell you..." I slowly began to push the gate back, but the thing was so stubborn it took an extra amount of effort. "Ngh!" However, past a certain place, the whole thing decided that it was going to move after all and quickly slid forward, causing me to fall with it until it hit a rough spot and stopped abruptly. "Oh come on."

I bit my lip and straightened myself to step back and look at the gate closely. "Okay you, I know you don't do this with my aunt and uncle and Miharu-so what gives?" I crossed my arms and waited. After a few moments I stepped up to the gate again. It's only a little bit more until it's closed all the way. I placed both my hands on the side of the gate and began to push it the distance to the end. Once I heard the clicking noise of the gate finally closing, I grunted and fell forward.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

'_If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I will wake from this dream.' -Evanescence_

Friday. I wouldn't know the difference between the days if it weren't for the people around me. Miharu was up and awake faster today than usual; she didn't even make her usual threats. When we arrived at the school and split our separate ways, we still had time to talk with friends before the bell rang. Other students were standing in the halls, talking animatedly and laughing joyfully. Today definitely stands out from the rest.

"Wow, someone's here before the bell. What'd you do, wake up three hours earlier?" Airesth joked as she sat atop my desk.

"No. Miharu was actually wide awake this morning and ready to come to school today. I never realized till this morning, that I wait on her." I replied.

"Er...okay." Airesth bit her lip, her eyes shifting back and forth as if searching for conversation. "Hey! What happened to your arm?" She wrapped her hand around my left arm. There was a bandage wrapped around my elbow in a slightly sloppy manner.

"I fell last night-" I started but was cut off as Airesth's fingers slipped too close to the hurt area. "Ah! Airesth, watch it." I pulled back enough to get her to loosen her grip but she didn't completely let go.

"Sorry!" She slowly pulled my arm within studying distance. "So you fell, huh?" She asked in a disbelieving tone. "What were you doing?"

I sighed. "Trying to close the front gate."

"Did you have an adult look at it?" She continued, turning my arm a bit and leaning forward. I rolled my eyes and fully pulled away from her. "It's just a scratch, it's nothing life-threatening."

"Sure. Oh! Do you think you can come out with me and Haku tonight?"

"Uh..." Well that was out of nowhere. "I-I guess."

Airesth smiled. "Cool! Now, if you'll excuse me; I need to go look for Haku." She jumped off the desk and skipped out the door.

Everyone seems to be in a good mood this morning. No wonder I feel so detached from them. Class eventually started and I paid enough attention to know that I've been out of it all week. I had absolutely no idea what the heck the teacher was talking about. I took down the notes she wanted us to take and felt myself panicking a little.

By the time second period rolled around I wasn't feeling too well.

"Hey, what's the matter with you?" Risu questioned as she stepped up to my desk. I had my head buried in my arms and mumbled a reply.

"Huh?"

I sighed and slowly lifted my head from the comfortable darkness. "I'm not feeling too good."

"D'you need to go to the nurse?" Risu kneeled in front of me with concern in her eyes. I shook my head.

"No. Don't worry about it; I'll be fine." I sat up straighter in my chair. I may be behind in my school work, but I'm not about to make Risu get behind on hers. "I just...need to get some water or something."

"Why don't you, then? You still have about three minutes."

I shook my head. "Nah. I'll just wait till after class."

"But that's lunch."

"...Then I'll get something at lunch."

Risu studied me for a moment before slowly standing back up.

"Oh, yeah. And, I passed your message onto Hatsuharu yesterday." I added in an attempt to get her mind off of me.

Risu gasped and her eyes lit up. She slammed her fist into her palm. "That's right! Where is he?" She turned around and began to scan the class room. "There he is!" And with that she took off from my desk. Good luck, Hatsuharu. I thought with somewhat amusement. The bell rang. Sensei Hirotachi walked through the door. And so began second period.

Two handouts to do in class and an essay to take home over the weekend; it seems that teachers like Friday also. They get to assign as much work as they want. What do they care? We've got two days to do it. The bell rang and as is accustomed for Risu, she was the first one out the door. I packed up my things, stood up and walked out of the classroom.

I heard some boys yelling up ahead and looked up to see three running in my direction. One of them was Momiji, the one Risu had pointed out to me Monday. I moved to the side as he came running past, being chased by the other two. He had such a bright smile on his face that I felt a small smile tug on my lips. Risu was right. He is cute.

"Yo, Kitani. Are you okay?" I snapped my eyes back to where I was walking and saw Kovu staring at me with a curious expression.

"Hey, Kovu." I slightly shook my head. "Yeah I'm fine, why?"

He shrugged and we slowly walked towards the cafeteria together.

"Where's Kaze?" I asked, noticing that she wasn't with him today.

Kovu shrugged again and looked down at me. "I have no idea. She seems to be disappearing lately. You don't know where she is?"

I thought about it for a moment then shook my head. "Sorry, no."

Kovu sighed. "Never mind then."

"Well," I stopped myself, unsure of what I was about to say.

Kovu glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "What?" He questioned. I scratched the back of my head, trying to search for the words to say. Crap. I lost them. I dropped my hand and sighed.

"Never mind. Nothing."

Kovu stared at me for a moment before deciding to let it drop and looking back forward. We were late getting to the cafeteria and ended up having to wait in the mob of a line for our lunches.

"Okay, ladies and gents, I have a special song to sing for you today." Risu was speaking into a coke bottle when Kovu and I walked up to the sakura tree. Her audience consisted mostly of first years and a few second years.

Kovu and I quietly sat down by Airesth, Haku, and Miharu as Risu cleared her throat.

"Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way. I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend!"

I cracked a smile.

"Doesn't she have a boyfriend?" Miharu questioned with a dumbfounded expression as she jabbed her thumb in Risu's direction.

"Yes. She's crazy." Airesth said simply.

I shook my head. "She's just having fun, leave her alone."

"Your so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious. I think about you all the time, you're so addictive. Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright? Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious. And hell yeah, I'm the mother fuckin' princess!"

"Whoa!" Airesth gasped just as Haku dived to cover Miharu's ears. "Watch it, Risu. We have minors here!"

Miharu pushed Haku's hands away and glowered at Airesth. "You're a minor too! Hell, we're all minors."

"Oh. Well...your virgin ears!" After hearing that, Haku attempted to cover Miharu's ears again. "Gah!" Miharu exlaimed as she fell backwards trying to get away from Haku.

"Oh come on, you guys. You know the song, sing with her." I urged.

Airesth and Miharu looked at me with expressions that read, 'yeah right.'

"You can, I'm not." Airesth closed her eyes and went back to her lunch. Miharu scoffed and turned away. "I don't sing."

"You guys know how to party." Kovu commented with a sarcastic grin.

"Just because she's making a total idiot of herself, doesn't mean we have to also." Airesth snapped.

I took in a silent breath and shared a glance with Kovu that said, 'oh shit, she's pissed.'

"What's the matter with you?" Miharu questioned with a quirked eyebrow. She'd noticed her fowl mood also.

"Nothing." She grumbled. Haku pulled her closer and leaned his head close to hers, speaking quietly so the rest of us couldn't hear.

Miharu rolled her eyes and turned back to look at Risu who was getting first years to sing along with her. "Why does she do that?"

I looked over at Risu for a moment and shrugged. "She's just having fun."

I wish I could be that carefree. I nibbled on a piece of food.

Lunch came and went, along with third period. Machi and I weren't able to get much done in third so I made plans for us to meet tomorrow at a nearby coffee shop where my friends and I used to hang out a lot. Fourth period was the same as first. I felt as if I were slowly dying with every word that left the teacher's mouth. What. The. Hell. Are. You. Saying?

By the time the bell rang, I had about four pages, front and back, of notes. My head was so scrambled that I ended up dropping my head into my arms again. It wasn't until a few minutes after everyone left the classroom that the teacher even realized that I was still there.

"Don't you have a home to get to, Miss Hiratai?" They questioned.

I tensed at those words, but slowly lifted my head and sighed. After sliding everything off of the desk and into my bag, I stood and made for the door.

With all this work, how the hell did I have a social life last year? I walked down the hall and caught up with Miharu. In the middle of my mental thoughts of doom, I saw her standing in the doorway to the music room.

"Miharu?" I called out.

She jumped and turned to look at me. "Oh. Hey, Kitani." She quickly stepped away from the doorway and stuck her hands behind her back.

"...What are you doing?"

"Nothing. I was just waiting for you." She stepped forward and kept her gaze averted from the music room. "You seemed to be taking your sweet time. Can we go now?"

I glanced at the music room for a moment then glanced down at Miharu who had her head ducked from me.

"Yeah...sure..."

Miharu nodded then began to walk past me and continue down the hall. I waited a few more moments, staring at the music room doorway, before turning and following.

It wasn't until later that night that I remembered Airesth wanted me to go out with her and Haku. I dropped my pencil and leaned back in my chair. Miharu walked into the bedroom and climbed the ladder to her top bunk.

"Are you working on homework right now?" She questioned.

"Yes." I sighed while dragging my hands across my face.

"Why? It's Friday. Do it tomorrow."

I dropped my hands to my lap and looked up at her. "I can't, I have plans tomorrow."

Miharu scoffed. "Yeah, well you have plans tonight too."

"Huh?"

The bed squeaked as she turned in it to look down at me from over the railing. "Airesth called just now. She wants you to meet her and Haku at that coffee place down the street."

I tensed. "Oh...shit!" I spun in the chair to look out the window then back around to scan the room. "I need clothes." I jumped up from the chair and ran to the closet, searching for the bag with my civilian clothes.

Miharu sat up in her bed and draped her legs over the edge, watching me with bored eyes. "Why do you guys go there if you don't even _drink_ coffee?"

"We don't go there to drink coffee. The place just has cool chairs to sit in; it's quiet; and they have really good cakes." I quickly changed into a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. "You want to come?" I asked as I searched for my cap.

"Nah. Maybe next time. I wanna finish reading my book." She fell back to lie on the bed and reached over to lift the window blinds enough to peek through. "You might want to take a jacket. Looks like it's raining."

I sighed as I searched for my shoes. "Course it is." I grabbed them then started to look for my jacket. Once I found it and Miharu had tossed me my cap, I ran downstairs for the front door.

"My mom comes back around eleven, so you'd be safe coming back by ten-thirty." Miharu informed as she walked me out. "Okay. Thanks." I stepped aside so that Miharu could open the gate. Of course, she didn't have a problem with it at all. "I'll be back at ten-thirty!" I called as I ran down the street through the pouring rain.

The coffee shop really is just down the street. It takes just about five minutes to get to if you're walking. Since I was running, it took about three.

I pushed open the door, causing the small bell at the top to jingle. The place was warm compared to the cold rain and wind outside. The walls were painted a warm golden color that when hit by the ceiling lights, made the place give off a soft glow. There were couches in the center that faced a wooden coffee table. A few people sat in them, some with books or newspapers, others on laptop computers. I spotted Airesth and Haku sitting in a cushioned booth by the wide window that looked out onto the sidewalk and street. So, they could've seen me coming already. I almost didn't want to go up to them. They looked so cozy together. Both were wearing sweater pullovers and were cuddled together in the corner of the booth. Airesth had her hair down around her shoulders and Haku couldn't get enough of it as they played together.

I sighed and made my way over to the two. "Hey you guys." I greeted as I slid into the booth.

The two looked up with smiles on their faces. "Hey, Kitani." "Hi."

"So what's going on?" I asked, slipping off my jacket and leaving my cap on.

"Nothing really. We were thinking that you forgot so decided to call. Did you forget?" Airesth questioned.

"Er. Yes?"

Airesth shook her head but just leaned back on Haku. "You can go order some hot chocolate or something. You look kind of cold." She said, referring to the semi empty counter. I shook my head. "No that's okay. I don't have any money on me anyway."

Haku perked up at this. "Do you need money?" He started to reach into his jacket pocket.

"No...I..." He handed me the money anyway. I sighed and took it. "Thank you." I mumbled before sliding out of the booth and heading down the steps to the counter. There was a bored teen who couldn't have been older than me, behind the counter, waiting to help a customer. When I approached he stood up a bit and managed a polite smile. "Can I help you?" He questioned. "Yeah, um..." I looked down at the money in my hand. How much did he give me? I moved it around, trying to count it when I heard a cough from behind me. I jumped and quickly said, "Hot chocolate, please." The guy looked at me curiously before nodding and turning away to prepare the drink. I glanced behind me and muttered an apology to the person waiting in line.

"Fine, whatever. Just make sure you know what you're getting before you get in line." Came the man's reply. Well, not really a man. I recognized him as someone from school. Though, I'd only seen him in passing. Em...doesn't really matter, does it?

I nodded and waited for the guy to come back and tell me the price.

"What are you doing here?" The guy behind me grumbled. For a moment, I thought he was actually talking to me, but then I heard another voice.

"I'm here to get what everyone ordered."

"The hell-I said I would."

"While that's appreciated by some, Miss Honda wishes to be in your company."

My arm slipped from the countertop and I nearly hit my head on the edge of it. The two behind me became quiet and I just leaned in closer to the counter, hiding my face from them. Miss Honda? She's, that's...oh damn. I suddenly felt my face heat up and grasped my hands together nervously. Where's that guy with the drink?

"So are you going?" The other continued.

"Eh?! Why should I?! I said I was going to get the drinks, so I'm going to get the drinks!"

"You're really such an idiot."

"Damn rat. What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're an idiot. Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"Damn it, shut your mouth."

"Shut yours and go back to Miss Honda wont you."

The employee finally came back with a warm mug and I hastily handed him the money. "Thanks." I muttered, before slipping away from the argument. I didn't even look over my shoulder at the quareling two. I knew one of them from school, so the other could possibly be a family member or something the way they were arguing. Brothers maybe.

I was half way back to the booth when I heard someone call out my name. I turned to see a girl sitting at a full table towards the back area waving in greeting. She was small and had long brown hair pulled back in ribbons. I've seen her at school also. I didn't recognize anyone she was with except for Hatsuharu and Momiji. Hatsuharu is the only one I've actually spoken with, but it's the girl and Momiji who are looking at me. I look around me for a moment, wondering if they were waving at someone else, before half raising my hand in a weak wave. I'm sure my face was an expression of: 'Okay, I'm waving. But, who are you?'

Momiji was pulled back down into his seat by his sleeve by the man sitting next to him, while another whispered into the girl's ear. I took that chance and quickly headed back to the booth with Airesth and Haku.

Once I slid in all the way to the end, I placed the mug on the table and dropped back into the cloth seating.

"You okay?" Airesth asked, looking at me from across the table. "You look all flushed."

I let out a breath and shook my head.

Airesth had a thoughtful look on her face. "Was that guy at the counter flirting with you or something?"

I hit my head against the back of the seat and made a face. "No." It just got really hot over there for some reason.

"Those two Souhma guys at the counter were arguing while you were over there." Haku pointed out. "Were they fighting over you?"

I scoffed at that and opened my eyes since they'd been closed since I sat down. "No. They were talking about a Miss Honda."

"Tohru Honda?" Airesth turned her complete attention to me. Haku seemed to go off into his own little world for a moment. "She's hot." I heard him mutter.

"Down, sweety." Airesth grabbed his hand and squeezed it, bringing him back to earth.

He snapped back and looked at us. "Oh, right. Sorry."

I shook my head and reached out for the mug. I dragged it closer to me. I tried to stay as close to the corner as I could; hoping that no one could spot me.

"Well something happened." Airesth commented. "You look freaked."

"No. It's nothing. Some people just called out to me...and I...have...no idea who they are...is all." My voice kept dropping until it was nothing more than a mutter.

"Well, who? Maybe I know them." Airesth scooted over to the edge of the table, away from Haku, who for a moment, looked a bit abandoned.

"Airesth, it's nothing." I sighed.

"Stop that. Now tell me: who was it?"

I rolled my head to the side to look out the window. "The table where Hatsuharu is sitting at."

"Be more specific. I don't see Hatsuharu."

"Eh...then the table in the way back. You should at least see Momiji or something."

"I'm not seeing it. Come here and show me." I could hear the annoyance building in her voice and decided what the hell. I took a sip from the hot chocolate and slid over to the edge of the bench. I stuck my head out from behind the back of the booth only to have the view of a body standing right in my face. To put things simply, I freaked out and ended up back at the other end with my back to the window and my legs out before me. My heart was pounding like crazy and my face was hot again. Judging by how badly both Airesth and Haku were laughing, I looked as freaked as I felt.

"Oh man." I groaned, burying my face in my hands. Its hard to say what I wanted to do at the moment. Either start laughing, or run out the door.

I didn't get to act on either, because I heard the sound of someone clearing their throat somewhere behind all the laughing. I slowly looked up through my fingers and felt like crawling under the table.

"Hi, Hatsuharu." I managed to say while slowly lowering my hands.


	7. Chapter 6

_GriffindorHyuuga: Cool! One more review! Whoo Hoo! Thank you _**loretta537**_! Here's chapter six!_

**Chapter Six**

_'I wish I could've stood where you would've been proud. That wont happen now.' -Dixie Chicks_

"Wait, I still don't see what the big deal is." Risu was saying as we walked down the sidewalk. Airesth had arranged for us to go out in the afternoon, before my meeting with Machi. It was me, Risu, Airesth, Miharu, and Kaze. Saturday, after all the rain last night, turned out to be very sunny and refreshing. Which is why Kaze and Miharu wanted to go to the beach, even if just to stand around.

"Do you seriously need me to explain it again?" Airesth groaned.

"You don't really have to-" I was about to start but was cut of by both Airesth and Risu.

"Yes she does," and "Shhh!" were my replies.

"Look, long story short-" I tried again, but was cut off, this time by Kaze.

"It's nothing big really, she just almost rammed her face into...him..." She blushed a little which didn't help my situation at all.

"Kaze..." I groaned.

"Whether it's big or not, only Kitani can say." Airesth said with a smirk.

"What the-Airesth!" I exclaimed. Kaze giggled at that and Miharu just burst out laughing. Risu slung her arm about my shoulders and leaned over me to see Kaze. Frustration from not getting why everyone was laughing was clearly written on her face. "So, wait, she almost crashed into him; right?"

Kaze nodded. "Then what's the big deal?!" She waved her free hand up and down in aggravation.

"It's where she almost crashed into him, you nimrod." Airesth sighed while reaching up to bonk Risu on the head.

"Ow! Darnit, you...midget!" Risu glowered, rubbing the back of her head.

"Oh that's creative." Airesth mumbled. She had a point too, since she, Kaze, and Miharu are short.

"Fine." Risu sighed. "WHERE, did she almost crash into him?"

"Hey look, we're at the ocean!" I pointed up ahead, only to have my hand pulled down by Risu, who was still waiting for an answer.

"Okay. Risu." Miharu spoke up. "Hatsuharu was standing by the booth, yes?"

Risu nodded. "Yes."

"Okay, when you're sitting down, where does your head usually come up to to a guy standing up?"

Risu dropped her arm from my shoulder and thought this over deeply. Kaze giggled a bit, but quieted down for Risu's sake. Risu did a couple of movements with her hands, first the left, then the right. She moved them up and down by her side around her waist section. Just when we thought she was getting it, she crossed her arms and looked up.

"I still don't get it."

"Oh my gosh!" Miharu threw her hands in the air and turned back to the beach. "Kaze, lets go play in the water." She walked down the wooden steps that led from the sidewalk down into the sand.

"Okay, wait up!" Kaze ran to catch up with her.

"What the hell?!" Risu exclaimed.

Airesth continued to try to explain to Risu, and after about another five minutes of a few outbursts of frustration, I finally just grabbed onto Risu's arms and looked her in the eye.

"Risu. My face was THIS CLOSE," I held up my fingers for emphasis. "This close to a place where a girls face should NEVER be. Where a girl should never look on a guy."

I held her eyes for a moment until I saw a dawning come over her. "His ass?" She asked bluntly.

My face dropped and my cheeks burned.

"Eh. That's as close as you're going to get. Can we play in the sand now?" Airesth questioned.

"That's not it? Then..." Risu became quiet again before her eyes widened and she grabbed both of my shoulders. "The other side?! Are you KIDDING ME?!"

I was unsure of what to do. Her eyes were kind of scaring me. "Uh. I told you...you said yourself it wasn't that big a deal."

Risu took a deep shaky breath as she shook her head. Her mouth was moving but nothing audible was coming out. Eventually, she let me go, stepped back, and then patted me on the head. "You poor, poor girl."

"...Thanks." I said dryly after she pulled her hand away.

"Okay! Now we can go play!" Risu said brightly to Airesth. The two ran off down the steps and I stood there for a moment.

That was SO embarrassing. For Risu to drag it out like that left me with a shaky feeling. I'm not used to talking about _real_ guys like that. It's really awkward, considering we go to school with him. I was lost in thought for a moment that I hadn't realized that Risu had been calling my name.

"What are you, deaf?!" She yelled as she and the other girls stood in the sand staring at me. "Come on!" She waved her hand over.

"Yeah, we're going to teach Kaze how to swim!" Miharu added before grabbing onto Kaze who had a startled expression on her face after hearing that.

We never did get Kaze into the water. But, somehow or the other, Airesth mysteriously ended up falling into the water herself. Miharu was still laughing about it when we reached the small coffee shop I'd gone to last night with Airesth and Kovu. When she remembered that I was there to work on a project, she bolted out of there and called up her own friends. What a true cousin, I thought as I rolled my eyes. I took a seat on one of the empty couches in the center of the place and pulled out my portable music player as well as the paper I had to write by Monday.

I was able to get down five lines when I felt someone walking up behind me. I turned, expecting to see Machi; but froze when I saw someone totally unexpected.

I dropped my pencil and turned fully in the sofa. "Dad?" I asked, confused.

My father stood there, towering over me. His form was, as always, huge and rigid. His bulging arms seemed to be confused as to where they should be, and just hung there at his sides. His brown hair was graying into white towards the ends and there were bags under his eyes. He was silent and tense. I couldn't feel anything but shock and a little fear. What's he doing here?

"Hi, Kitani." His voice left his chapped lips in a dead tone.

I couldn't do much, just breath the word, hi, back.

"Are you busy right now?" He questioned, his eyes left me for a brief moment to glance around me. I gulped, slowly pulled down my earphones, and fidgeted in my seat. "Not right now...what's...um..." I trailed off and noticed that his fists were now clenched.

It's been almost an entire year since I've seen him and a few months since we've exchanged words. Though, when I think of that last conversation, I remember why I hadn't attempted contacting him.

"I need to talk to you." His words were sharp where his eyes weren't and they cut through my shaky defenses.

"O-okay." I stuttered. I slid my paper back into my school bag along with my music player. He took a step back as I stood up then he turned and walked out the door. I hesitated but eventually followed. It didn't register into my mind yet that he wanted to go somewhere else until I was outside and saw him walking down the sidewalk already.

"H-hey." I called out. He stopped and turned around. I gripped onto the strap of my bag to keep from trembling. "I'm waiting for a friend to come, so I can't leave." He stared silently before taking the steps back to tower over me.

"Okay. When you're not _busy_," he said this for a guilt affect. "I'd like to talk to you. _When_ can I talk to you?"

I opened my mouth and for a moment, nothing came out. "I-I don't know. Maybe a little after five?"

"Alright." His eyes shifted up and around us. "Alright, I'll be here at five." With that, he turned and walked down the sidewalk.

My feet were stuck to the pavement. I literally couldn't move. Just being in that man's presence made me feel vulnerable. And it was always Mom who made it better. One could definitely say that I 'was thinking oh shit now.'

I don't know if it was one, five, or ten minutes later; but, Machi stepped up behind me and tugged on the sleeve of my shirt. I snapped out of it and turned around. Putting on a small smile, I gave a greeting followed by an apology.

"I was kind of out of it there, huh?" I laughed nervously. "Do you want to go inside now?" I reached for the door to open it when she said something.

"You seem scared." I turned back to her. "It's none of my business, but did someone scare you?"

I shook my head and tried for a reassuring smile. "No. I'm okay."

She was quiet as her eyes seemed to study me. She then stepped through the door I was holding open and walked into the shop.

"I'm sorry for being late. There was a student council meeting that took longer than expected." She was saying as I followed her back to where I had been sitting before.

"Oh. Well, it's fine, really." I assured. I only had about three hours before my father would come back. That gave me two and a half hours to work on this project. I needed the other half hour for mental preparations.

Life is funny in the way that when you want time to go fast, it goes painfully slow. And, when you want it to last forever, it's over in the blink of an eye. Only, I'm not laughing this time.

Before I knew it, we were talking about going to the track and field Thursday and Machi was heading out the door. I turned to look back at the clock on the wall by the counter. Four thirty-five. I moved over to a booth by the window and dropped my things on the seat. The sun was getting lower as people were out walking their dogs before dinner. Dinner. Man, I'm actually hungry. I slid all the way to the end of the booth. I propped my head up with my hand and stared outside.

My father would seem like a nice man on a first impression basis, but there _is_ something below the surface. My mom would know first hand. My chest tightened. Yeah, she _would_ know. He was someone who'd put her down when she was a new mother. He pushed her around and kept her prisoner. She never said it like that, but that's how I see it. There's absolutely no excuse for what he did to her and a part of me still holds a grudge against him.

But, he's always pulled the father card on me. Made me feel guilty. As if I'm his last chance for sanity in his old sick and lonely age. He didn't look took sick earlier and I kept that in mind. I still couldn't figure out what he wanted to talk about. For me, there was nothing to be said. It's sad, but I don't want anything to do with him. It's not sad. My conscious eats at me, telling me it's horrible. He's as human as anyone else and has feelings that could be hurt just as easily as mine. The big softy is probably where I got it from. I thought with a grumble. I then scoffed and rolled my eyes. Yeah. Like a big softy could abuse people.

Stop it. I turned away from the window with a deep frown. That's enough.

"Hi Kitani." That voice greeted before the body slid into the seat across from me. I glanced at the clock. Four forty-five.

"Hey." I turned my attention to him and sat up straighter. "It's not exactly five yet."

His eyes met mine evenly. "You're not busy."

I dropped my gaze. "So, you said you wanted to talk."

"I'm sorry about your mom."

I felt myself tense and my fingers go numb.

"I didn't say that before, and I'm saying it now. You're staying with your Aunt Nadia?"

I kept my gaze low and jaw clenched as I nodded. He nodded as well. "And you're liking it there?" I nodded again. "That's good."

A part of me wanted to say the cold words, 'what do you care' but I decided against it. Just let him say what he wants so this can be over.

"Your school. How is it?"

I glanced up at him with confused eyes before lowering my gaze again. "It's fine. Why do you ask?"

"I want to know how you're doing." He replied in a surprisingly concerned tone. I played with the sleeves covering my hands. There's something else. Say it. "Kitani." I knew it. I looked up at him and bit the inside of my cheek. His eyes were switching back and forth between mine. "I want you to come live with me."

"..." I stared at him for a moment. "What?"

"I believe we can make this work. With your mother gone and Inuske off on his job, I figured it would be the right thing to do."

I leaned back away from the table. Where was all this coming from? What the hell is he talking about? "How would it be the right thing?" I questioned in a shaky voice.

"I'm your dad, Kitani." He actually said this with authority. I snapped my eyes back up at him.

"You're my _father_." I restated. I shook my head, looked down and mumbled, "There's a difference."

"I'm living in a new place, and it's nice. It's got enough space for a family and the neighbors are friendly. I'm still recovering from an accident I had a short while ago, but soon I'll be back to work. I'll take care of whatever you need. There will be food on the table and your school will be paid for." I could feel his eyes staring at me intently and I fought the urge to run.

"You had an accident?" The words left my mouth before I could process them. I was still confused as to how he knew about Inuske being out of town.

"Yeah." He exhaled his breath and leaned back in his seat. "Some guy screwed up in transferring a huge box of equipment. Pow! Right into your ol' dad's head." He hit his forehead for emphasis. "It hurt real bad. But your daddy got through it."

I nodded detachedly. His huge calloused hands reached across the table for me, stopping in my line of view. "Kitani. Look at me, darling."

My head slowly lifted to where I could see him. "I'm a new man. I want to make this work for you. You're all I have." His hands were trying to reach out for mine, but I refused to put them back onto the table. "Baby, please think about it. I want to be there for you. I want to be what your mother was preventing me to be all these years. I want to be your dad. Please think about it, darling." He then stood up and leaned over to kiss me on my forehead. He slid out of the booth and left a slip of paper on the table before walking out the door.

I slowly reached out my fingers to the slip of paper. They nudged it enough for me to see that it had a phone number written down on it. I pulled my hand away and dropped my head into my arms.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

_'I am small and the world is big. All around me is fast moving. Surrounded by so many things. And suddenly, how does it feel?' -Averil Lavigne_

Sunday came and went. As did Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. That point of time, I was so out of it that the days ran together for me. I couldn't remember what the day was, what was planned, or even what I had done the day before. I was in such a fog, that I hadn't even realized almost two weeks had passed since the encounter with my father.

"Kitani! Are you even listening to me?"

I snapped my eyes to see Risu standing right in front of my face. "Whoa. Sorry, what?" I backed away from her and swallowed. She rolled her eyes and leaned away from me.

"I swear, it's like I'm talking to a zombie!" She threw her hands in the air and turned away for a moment. I looked around and realized that we were standing outside in the courtyard. It was after school and some kids were still walking the sidewalks. What was I doing here?

"Risu?" I questioned lightly, noticing my friend's tense form. I took a step forward in an attempt to see her face. She rapidly turned to me and I could see now that she was upset.

"Segi and I just had an argument. And he was being an idiot!"

Oh shit. I dozed off during this? What the hells wrong with me?! "What happened?"

"I don't know! He just started acting all mopey. Actually, he's been acting mopey ever since I told him Haru was my project partner. When I brought it up to him, he told me that if I was 'happy', I shouldn't bring it up. I mean, what the hell is that?!" She threw her hands in the air at that. "If I'm not 'happy', I shouldn't bring it up? If he's off being Mr. Emo, of course I'm not going to be happy! Sheesh!"

I tried to process her heated, rushed words. "Okay..."

"And when I told him to tell me what's wrong, he just said that I shouldn't worry about it. '_Nothing's wrong_.' He's quiet, and he's brooding. I tell him that I don't believe him and he tries to walk away from me!"

I lightly touched Risu's shoulder, leading her over to a bench. She reluctantly sat down, her feet practically bouncing as she tried to contain her energy.

"So you stopped him?"

"No." She replied grimly. "Haru was there. He walked in on us and blocked the only way out. Segi could've pushed past him, I know he could've...I'm sorry he didn't."

I blinked. "Why?"

She smiled scornfully. "Because then he started making snide remarks. Things like, 'oh, just in time,' and 'Risu was just about to start looking for you.'" I could hear the anger in her voice and couldn't help but feel some of her frustration pass to me. "Haru didn't say anything, and that's when I saw you walking down the hallway. I just pushed past the both of them and followed you here." I could hear the questioning even before she spoke again, turning to me. "Where were you going anyway?"

I quietly looked away from her and took a deep breath. "I don't know. I'm sorry I didn't snap out of it sooner, though. That sounds pretty bad, especially for Segi."

Risu scoffed. "Yeah."

We were both quiet as a slight breeze blew through and birds sang soft tunes from up in the trees. Risu took a deep breath and stood up. I turned to her as she kept her gaze straight ahead.

"I have to find him to talk to him. He's an idiot, but I love him." She sighed and looked down to me.

I nodded. "Yep. He's a jealous idiot. Go yell and knock some sense into him. I'll see you later."

She gave a slight smile, leaned in to give me a hug, then walked off to find Segi.

Once she was gone, I bit my lip and crossed my arms. What is wrong here? I couldn't hear my best friend when she was obviously so distressed? That's not right at all. How long have I been like this?

While I was pondering the situation, I noticed a shadow on the grass in front of me and slowly lifted my head to see who it was. I stared at him for a moment, my eyes going back and forth between his.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked.

I lowered my gaze for a moment before standing up. "Sure." The words left my mouth, but I felt as if I'd said nothing. My feet moved on automatic, like I was sleepwalking. My mind was a total blank, though I was able to register everything that we passed. I knew that we were close to the ocean, though it didn't really hit me. The whole time we walked, it was quiet. I think that allowed for me to zone out even more. I didn't even notice when he stopped walking and stuck out his hand, making me walk straight into it with my head. I staggered back a step, only that was off the curb, and ended up falling.

"Oof!" I landed with my back to the pavement, somehow avoiding hitting my head. I slowly opened my eyes and looked up to see Hatsuharu staring down at me with alarmed eyes.

"Are you okay?" He questioned, lending out his hand to me. I shook my head and looked at his hand with wide eyes. It felt as if I'd just woken up from a dream. I silently took his hand and he pulled me up in one swift motion.

"Thanks." I breathed while absentmindedly dusting off my clothes.

"I didn't think you would fall over. I'm sorry." He stared down at me and I met his gaze for a moment before turning it to the ocean. "It's no problem. It was my fault." I walked over to the railing and looked out at the wide waters. There was a warm breeze and I closed my eyes, enjoying it. My mom loved the ocean. I never really fully appreciated why.

Then, everything hit me all at once. What I couldn't seem to worry about earlier came back in a rush and I couldn't help but pull away from the railing to try to look at things from afar. What have I been doing?

"Hey, Hatsuharu?"

"Hm?"

"What have I been doing?" I turned to look at him. "This past week, possibly the week before. What was I like?"

He shrugged and turned back to look at the ocean. "You weren't yourself that I could tell."

"... I ignored my friends, didn't I?" I questioned, dreading the answer.

"Yes." He replied simply.

I groaned at that and dropped my head onto the warm steel of the railing. "What the hell's wrong with me?" I grumbled to myself. How could I ignore them? For two whole freaking weeks! How could that happen? What if one of them had come to me with a problem like Risu today...did I just blow them off?

"You seemed especially sad. Something must have been troubling you."

I replayed his words in my head and immediately my father came to mind. I took a deep breath and picked up my head to look out at the sunlight dancing on the waves.

"I don't even remember. I can't remember feeling anything these past few days. No worries, no excitement, nothing. It's like I've been in a dream or something. The kind where you watch yourself do things from afar and just fall asleep on the side." I dropped my head to rest my chin on my folded arms. "It's scary now, though. Because I don't even remember the things I did. Or the things I _didn't_ do. Has that ever happened to you?" I tilted my head to look at him questioningly.

"I've had my share of those moments." He admitted with a nod of his head.

"What brings you out of it?" I asked curiously.

He tilted his head to the side and thought out loud. "There were a few times when cold water was involved. But other than that, I don't think it takes that long for me to eventually come out of it."

"Hm." I turned back and thought about the cold water idea. Didn't sound too bad. "Okay. If I ever get in that little...daze again. I give you permission to splash freezing cold water on me." I meant it as a joke, but he looked at me as if I were being serious. "I'm kidding." I clarified with a small laugh.

He blinked, making me realize that it wasn't really that funny. I coughed and turned away again. We were both quiet for a few more moments when suddenly we weren't the only ones on the sidewalk anymore.

"Yo! Haru!"

We both turned. It was that guy from the coffee shop. He was the one that had orange hair and a really short temper. Well, from what I heard, he had a short temper. Momiji and that girl, also from the coffee shop, were with him, along with the Prince Yuki himself.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" The orange-head continued to yell. "Leave that girl alone-we have plans, remember?"

Hatsuharu sighed from behind me and took a step forward to come before me. "Please excuse the idiot. He has no self-control sometimes." He explained with closed eyes. A smile tugged at my lips. "That's alright, don't worry."

"Would you like to come with us?"

I opened my mouth for a moment, unsure of what to say. Then, a thought suddenly came to mind. "I'm not sure. What's today?"

"Thursday."

My eyes widened and I froze. Thursday. Miharu has practice after school and her parents work late tonight. Which means...Telane!

"Oh God." My eyes snapped to him I could see his concern. "I can't. I have to go, I'm sorry. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I barely waited long enough to see him nod before turning and running down the sidewalk. When I came to the group of people who were waiting for Hatsuharu, I said an awkward 'excuse me' and passed them. I picked up my pace, trying to beat the time it would take to get to Telane's school.

I really _am_ out of it! How could I forget about Telane-idiot! Idiot!

About ten minutes later I came up to the school. The sun was getting lower, but it could still be seen. How long ago was she let out?

"Telane!" I gasped, coming to a halt in front of her. She was sitting by the front gates, I didn't even notice the man beside her at first. I froze when his eyes locked with mine. It was the same guy from the other time.

"Kitani!" Telane jumped up and ran into my arms almost knocking me off balance. I held her tightly though, closing my eyes for a moment, thanking God she was okay.

"Late again I see." The voice was mocking and I opened my eyes to look at him. He'd stood up and was now a good foot taller than me. "Should I make it a habit to walk by this way on Thursdays to wait with her from now on?" He questioned.

I looked back and forth between his cold laughing eyes and subconsciously took a step back. "Looks like you already do." The words left with my breath and he chuckled at that.

"It just happened to be coincidence is all. My passing through and this young girl always waiting, looking so alone. I do think it wouldn't be a bad a idea to keep her company while you're off doing...whatever it is you do every week around this time." He leaned over and ran his fingers over Telane's hair.

I held her tightly to me, though she didn't seem at all scared of this man.

"Well," He stepped back and glanced over me before returning his gaze to Telane. A smile slid across his face. "Maybe I'll see you again next week, Telane."

"Okay!" She said with a bright smile. He turned and made his way over to a parked car. The door to the back seat opened from the inside and he was about to climb in. Telane began to tug me in the direction of home.

"Hold on." I called out to him. He halted in his movement and turned to me, that polite smile in place.

"Yes?"

"I-I never got your name."

His eyes creased at me though his smile stayed the same. "When we meet again, I'll tell you."

What?

He turned and climbed into the backseat. The door closed and the car pulled away from the curb, heading down the street. Telane continued to tug on my sleeve, eventually getting me to start walking the other way. Once we were a good distance away from the school and Telane had started to hum random tunes, I asked her about the man.

"Do you know who he is?"

Telane shrugged. "Not really. He just sits and waits with me until you come." She ran forward and began trying to catch some of the falling leaves from the trees that lined the sidewalk. "He's cool! He talks about all these crazy things! Sometimes I don't understand him, but then he just starts laughing and it's funny!" She then twirled in a circle, letting all the leaves she'd gathered fly around her.

I grabbed onto her hand as I caught up to her and we continued walking.

"Does he wait for you when you wait for your mom?"

She shook her head. "No. I don't have to wait for mom."

"So he just keeps you company? He doesn't do anything that bugs you?"

Her face scrunched up as she thought this over. "He talks about you. I tell him that that's _booooring_ to talk about, but he still tries to talk about it. It's so _annoying_."

I scrunched up my own face to mimic her. "Well, gee, thanks a lot Telane." She looked up at me and laughed. "Stop that!"

"Stop what? This?" I scrunched my face up even more and stuck my tongue out. "Why? Is it _boooooring__Annoooying_? Does it just _bug_ the heck outta you?"

"NO!" She laughed and tried to tickle me to get me to stop. Her plan wasn't really that great since she's not an experienced tickler like me. I pulled away from her and ended up just having to pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. While she pounded on my back, I was able to think over a few things. More like worry. This person talked about me? Why? I don't even know him. After she eventually calmed down and I was able to put her back on her feet, I asked her one more question.

"Did he tell you his name?"

She gave an enthusiastic nod. "Yeah. Akito!"

x x x x x x

_Hells yeah! Two chapters in one day! heh heh. I'll have the next one out soon! _


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_**'I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand.'' - 3 Door Down**_

"Okay, class, listen up. Members from your student council are going to be here soon to talk to you about a fund raiser that is going to take place tomorrow. So, I'll hand out your assignment right now and you can work on that till they come."

As soon as a paper was given to each of us, people began to move around in their desks. Risu came over and sat by me and Haku.

"Hey guys! What's up?" She asked cheerily. Haku and I both shrugged.

"Nothing much has changed since the bell rang, Risu." I said.

"Okay. Well, this fund raiser thing tomorrow; they're most likely going to ask for volunteers. Are you two going to sign up?" She questioned.

Haku shook his head and slid deeper into his chair.

"Why not?" Risu questioned in an almost accusatory tone. "It's going to be fun! Besides, what else do you have to do, besides sleep in?"

Haku gave an unsure glance to me before shrugging again. "Sleep in?"

"That sounds like a good idea." I said with a nod. Risu glowered at me. "Oh, so you're not going to either?"

I sat up straighter in my chair. "I might. It's just that, sleeping in, sounds really appealing."

Haku nodded in agreement and Risu rolled her eyes as she reached over and hit me on the head.

"You're no help." She grumbled. Haku laughed as I frowned and rubbed my head. "Well if you two don't, I'll just find other people who will." She turned and searched the room for a brief moment. "Yo, Haru!"

He turned his head to her with a blank expression. "You going tomorrow to the fund raiser thing?"

"I guess." He replied with a shrug.

"Cool!" She turned back to us with a smile.

"Are we allowed to bring friends from a different grade level?" He questioned, making her turn around again.

"Yeah. The whole school is invited." She assured. Haru nodded and turned his attention away.

"So, you're going to sign up?" I asked Risu lamely.

"What? You couldn't figure it out?" Risu replied sarcastically. "Yes I'm going. Haru just said he's going to go too; even more reason for you to go."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked defensively. She just gave me an incredulous look before the class room door opened.

Members of the student council walked into the classroom, catching everyone's attention. Once everyone was settled down enough to listen, they began by asking for volunteers for the fund raiser the next day. It was going to be held at the school out in the front. There were going to be a bunch of stands with different snacks and games for the people to check out, eat, and play.

"We just need some extra hands to help out with supplies and working behind the concession stands. Any volunteers?"

Risu's hand was up in the air before most of the class, and I found that my hand was raised along with hers. What's there to lose? It's not like I had anything planned to do in the morning. Although, sleeping in did still sound appealing, this sounded like it might be funner.

Haku noticed and slowly, very slowly, raised his hand up as well. When Risu noticed both of our raised hands, she had a victorious smile on her face.

Dark clouds appeared in the sky as we were let out for lunch. Let me put it this way: dark cloudy weather, with a strong cool wind, and teens let outside on a Friday afternoon at school: equals a high level of excitement.

Once we were outside, Risu ran over to the tree and placed her food on the ground. A couple of first years ran up to her excitedly and suddenly they were all speaking at such fast speeds behind constant laughs, that it became difficult to understand what they were saying.

I sat down with Kaze and we began talking about the fund raiser while one of the girls turned on her music player with speakers on high. Most of the girls surrounding us gave a 'whoop' in approval while others began to sing along.

Risu joined some of her friends arm and arm as they began to sway to the rhythmic flow of the guitar and drums.

"Oh dear god, they're singing again." Airesth sighed as she sat down by us. Haku was standing off to the side with Kovu and the other guys, away from all the hyper girls.

Miharu pulled out a small bun of bread and took a bite out of it as she pondered something.

"What's up with you?" I questioned, noticing her thoughtful stare into space.

"Hm? Oh, I was just thinking about something." She pulled the bread away from her mouth and shifted her seating position.

"This is a rare occasion; what were you thinking about?" Airesth put in, now interested. Miharu gave her a dry look at the remark, but for the most part, ignored it.

"Tomorrow, your class is hosting that fund rasier, right?" She questioned.

"Yeah. Why?" Kaze tilted her head as a swift wind blew through.

"Well, I heard Kovu playing his guitar the other day. Why don't you see if he can participate by playing something?"

The three of us became quiet as we thought this over. I was just plain confused as many questions flooded my mind. None in particular stood out to me, which I think, caused confusion in the first place. Kaze gave a thoughtful glance to Kovu, considering the idea. Airesth didn't stay quiet for too long.

"Play something like what?" She questioned. "Or more like: why?" She restated.

Miharu shrugged. "Maybe he can help somehow. People pay to listen to music."

"That's true." I agreed. "Kaze, why don't you go talk to him about it?"

Kaze snapped her attention back to us and dropped her head so that none of us could see her eyes.

"Um...he's not really talking to me..." She replied in a low tone. All of our eyes were on her. This was the first any of us had heard that they were having problems.

"Why isn't he talking to you?" I questioned.

Kaze shrugged.

"Is this because of the disappearing act you've been pulling lately?" Airesth guessed which Kaze gave a slight nod to.

"He thinks that I'm off with some other guy or something. I tried to tell him that it wasn't like that, but he wouldn't listen."

Miharu scratched her head for a moment. "Why?"

"Well, it's not that he wont listen; it's that he wont trust me. I can't tell anyone where I've been and when I told him that, he just became even more convinced that I was cheating on him." Kaze began to pull at the grass by her legs in a nervous manner. I caught her glimpse in Kovu's direction and took a glance at him myself.

He had been watching her up till that moment, and went back to putting his full attention to the conversation the guys were in. Kaze sighed and dropped her gaze again. 'What's with my friends and having the paranoid boyfriends?' I thought.

"So what are you doing?" I questioned bluntly. Kaze snapped her head up to me while Airesth just shook her head and continued eating. Miharu gave up on the whole conversation and went to join Risu who was now in a conversation with some first year boys. I kept my gaze on Kaze and she averted her eyes and shook her head.

"I can't tell anyone, Kitani. It's a surprise for tomorrow."

"So just tell him that." I offered. This just resulted in another shake of Kaze's head.

"No. I want the surprise to be a surprise in itself. I don't want him to have any idea about what's going to happen. Or, that anything is going to happen for that matter. I might back out of it if he knew."

This caught Airesth's attention once again as she stopped eating and stared at Kaze curiously. "What are you going to do?" She quesetioned.

Kaze sighed. "I already said, I can't tell you guys. I can't tell _anyone_." She stressed the word and I could tell that she was getting frustrated with the conversation.

"Fine. Someone else can ask him to do it then." Airesth said, bringing us back to what we had originally been talking about.

"He is good." Kaze said with a nod. "You guys should talk to him about playing. I think it would be a good experience for him." With that she stood and began to walk away.

"Where're you going?" I called out to her, though it went unheard as a strong wind blew through and the people around us got louder.

Airesth took a sip from her drink before saying, "She can't tell us, remember?"

I sighed and looked back over to where Risu and Miharu were. I realized that no one else was near enough to even bother listening to our conversation and turned back to Airesth.

"Hey, Airesth."

"Hm?" She turned away from watching Haku and gave me her attention.

"Do you know anyone named Akito?" I questioned.

Airesth gave a thoughtful look as she turned fully to me. "I might. What's his last name?"

"Er, I'm not sure. I don't think he goes to high school anymore. Maybe he graduated last year, or the year before..."

Airesth chewed the inside of her lip as she processed the information. Airesth isn't a busy body. She's anything but. She knows loads of people and gets to know the people that those people know. So, if you wanted to know or find out about someone, she would be the one to go to.

"I might know someone. I never actually met him...I've just heard stories about him." Airesth's eyes became clear again as she stared at me. "Why do you want to know?"

"There's this guy that's starting to creep me out. The last few times I've been going to pick up Telane from school, he's been there, waiting with her."

"Waiting with her? Why?"

"I don't know."

Airesth frowned deeply. "How old do you think he is?"

I shrugged and chewed the straw to my drink. "I don't know. Maybe two, three, four years out of high school?"

"You just know that he's older than us, huh?" She questioned dryly.

I sighed. "Yeah."

"I've gotta see this guy!" Risu's voice exclaimed, catching my attention. She suddenly bent down beside us and picked up her bag. "A couple of us are going to go check out this guy that Maelyn has a crush on. You two want to come?" She questioned breathlessly.

I shook my head. "No, that's alright."

"I'm fine here." Airesth replied.

Risu shrugged. "Okay, catch you guys later!" She jumped back up and ran off with the other girls.

Airesth rolled her eyes. "Anyways, Kitani, the next time you go to pick up Telane, tell me. I'll go with you and see this guy for myself." She then gathered her things and stood up.

The bell for the end of lunch rang, followed shortly by the fall of cold rain.

"Man. I hate this rain." Miharu turned her head up and yelled at the dark sky. "Why wont it go away?!" Rain drops fell onto her face, making her groan and drop her head so that her hood could cover her. Walking home with Miharu in the rain can be somewhat amusing. Today, however, I had to agree with her to some degree. Though, it was small. Just a teeny little degree.

No, not really. I was loving the rain.

"Come on, Miharu, it's not that bad." I replied while taking a skip past her and landing right into a puddle. The splash not only drenched my socks, but Miharu's as well.

"What the-Kitani! If you wanna get sick, that's your business-don't drag me with you!" She huffed before shoving her hands deep into her jacket pockets and hurrying past me. I sighed and watched her walk up to the curb of the sidewalk, waiting for the light across the street to turn green.

"Hey Miharu!" I called while running up to her.

"What?" She very nearly growled. I stopped once I was beside her and gave her a funny look.

"What's the matter with you?" I restrained myself from snapping at her since her mood was starting to dampen mine.

"I'm just not in the mood to be walking in the rain right now. You can all you want, but I'm going home." She replied harshly. The light turned green and she started for the other side.

I waited a moment to take a deep breath and slowly follow her. Something happened to her either during third or fourth. Last I saw her, she wasn't this upset.

I caught up with her and began to walk her pace by her side. I kept on sending glances her way and after a few times she just turned to me and threw her hands in the air.

"What?" She exclaimed.

I smirked down at her. "Come on!" I grabbed onto her arm and pulled her down a different street.

"Where are we going?" She questioned breathlessly from behind.

"It's Friday and damn it, you're going to have _some_ fun." We ran against the wind and rain. My hood flew back away from my head and whipped behind my neck. The rain felt good as it seeped through my hair and into my scalp. I loved the way the drops splashed onto my face and left their cool tracks across my cheeks.

"You're going to get us sick!" Miharu yelled out after jumping over a puddle that I'd just run through without thinking. "Seriously! Where are we going?"

I stopped at a corner and looked around before turning back to look at her. Her cheeks were flushed, and her hood had flown off as well, leaving her brown hair in a wet fuzzy state.

"I have absolutely no idea." I replied with a breathless grin. I then rubbed my head and looked around again.

Miharu became quiet and I had the feeling that she wasn't too happy with me at the moment.

"You have no idea? Then what was all that for?" She questioned with a frown.

I turned back to her and saw that she was attempting to put her hair back under her hood. I sighed and dropped my shoulders.

"What, you didn't enjoy it just a little?" I questioned, sounding so much freer than I'd intended to.

"You're crazy, Kitani, really." She mumbled. She finally pulled the hood fully over her head and crossed her arms.

I didn't even realize that I'd been smiling until I felt it slip from my face. "You think so, huh?" I questioned with a huff.

"Yes." Miharu said defiantly. "Sometimes I wonder who lost the close family member. You or me." With that she turned and began to walk back.

I stood in the rain. With my hood down and my breath still not quite caught, I watched her go. Seems I've been doing that a lot lately.

"Kitani. Kitani, wake up. Kitani!"

"Mmm...what?" I grumbled from under my pillow. I was too comfortable where I was to even think about getting up. But, then I felt an extra weight on my back, nearly knocking what little air I had, out of me. My hands reached out behind me blindly, trying to find the body on top of me so I could push them off.

"Gosh darnit, what is it?!" My muffled voice exclaimed.

"Someone's on the phone for you." Telane's voice reached my ears and I moved over to where she would roll off of me. I lifted my head from under the pillow and looked at Telane from underneath half lidded eyes and a few strands of hair.

"Who is it?" I asked groggily while taking the phone from her. She just shrugged and jumped off of the bed. I dropped my head back and spoke into the phone.

"Hello?"

"_Kitani, you coming, or what?"_

Was that Risu?

"Coming where?"

Then it hit me. I quickly sat up in bed, my eyes wide and my mind moving quickly.

"Oh shit!"

I ended up having to rush over with only a small bite of food for breakfast. I couldn't remember if we were allowed to wear regular clothes or not and ended up panicking. Miharu grumbled into her pillow about wearing regular clothes and for me to shut up and let her sleep. So, I took her word and dressed in jeans, a t-shirt, and a rain jacket just in case.

"There you are," Risu said as I ran up to the first concession stand I saw. She was working behind it, handing out small prizes to the kids who were scooping fish. "You're really late, you know." She said with a frown.

I took a breath and looked around. "Do I have to report to someone?"

Risu shrugged. "I don't know. Someone just grabbed me and put me here. Try that girl with the clip board." She motioned to a girl in the middle of the crowd with a clip board in hand. Her gaze monitored the area from behind big lenses that shined in what little light was given today.

I slowly made my way over and got her attention. After explaining that I was late, she pointed in the direction of the school building.

"You can wait inside. We've got things handled here so far, so if we need help, we'll just send word." I stepped back from her and she instantly found something to occupy herself with. I headed to the front doors and pulled one open. After stepping inside I could see that I wasn't the only one who had been sent to the reject corner.

Others were sitting and talking in the hall, playing card games or sleeping.

'Just my kind of crowd.' I thought with a sigh. I walked over to a corner and slid down to the floor. There was a group of four sitting to my right. They were playing a game of rich man, poor man. My entertainment was listening to their deep game conversation which, on the outside of their circle, sounded pretty ridiculous.

Someone opened the entrance door and a head popped through to look in. "We need someone to help carry some boxes."

"ME!" A guy on the other side of the hall exclaimed as he jumped up and ran out the door. Many stared after him as the people who'd been sitting around him just laughed.

I frowned and pulled my legs up to my chest. I had a feeling that this was going to be a long morning.

"You."

I snapped my head up at that unfamiliar voice and saw a girl who was a grade higher than me sitting off to the side. She was the one dealing the cards in the small circle.

"Do you want to come join our circle?" She questioned. Her eyes never strayed from mine, holding me still for a moment until I could nod.

"Sure." I responded. I scooted over and two boys moved to the side so I could sit between them and enter the circle.

"My name is Saki Hanajima. My name will be the only one you need to know, for I am the only true competition here." The girl, Hanajima, informed with a calm smile.

"Ah, Hanajima, that's mean." The guy to my right complained. I didn't pay attention long enough though, because soon the orange-headed Kyo joined in as well.

"So what are we playing here?" He questioned as he sat down. His expression seemed close to irritated and I had the feeling he decided to play only as a last resort.

"Rich man, poor man." Hanajima replied cooley. "Do you wish to play?" She shuffled the cards in an almost intimidating manner.

"Yeah, whatever." Came his retort.

Hanajima dealt the cards. After the fourth time of realizing that I had absolutely no chance of winning with the cards I had (or didn't have), I put my cards down and excused myself from the game.

"Please. Come join us another time." Hanajima said with a polite smile.

"I will, thanks." I replied with a small smile. I stood up and walked down the hall to the doors. I was able to look outside at all the people that had come and were now enjoying the entertainment. The raincoat I wore was beginning to make me feel awkward and out of place. It was dark and cloudy outside, sure. But, there hadn't been a drop of rain yet and the people outside seemed to really be enjoying themselves.

Then it happened.

Two girls, either first years or from Jr high, walked by the front steps dressed in plain white blouses. I seriously felt like smacking my head when they passed by and rain began to pour down. Slowly at first, making the people uneasy; but then it started to come down hard, making everyone scatter.

'Oye, seriously.' I thought while rolling my eyes. I pushed open the door and ran outside to see if there was anything I could do to help. Students were running around, trying to get things packed up and put away as fast as possible while others were yelling orders such as what went where.

I lifted my hood over my head as I slowed to where Risu's stand was. She was still dealing with a few people and I could see her eagerness to pack up like everyone else.

"Need help?" I called out before stepping under the small canopy of the stand.

"Yeah. Find out what the heck I'm supposed to do to pack up!" She yelled out over the loud noise of rain hitting surface. I nodded and turned to search the people for someone in charge.

'Found him.'

I ran over to the student council vice-president who was standing in the middle of the area. He was without a jacket, directing those in need of it.

"Hey!" I called out to him over all the noise.

He stared down at me for a moment, a bright smile on his face. "What do you need?" He questioned.

"My friend needs help putting up her booth." I pointed back to Risu who had given up and was just standing there with her arms crossed, waiting.

He laughed a moment before tapping my shoulder. "Don't worry about it. Someone else can take care of it. Tell her to just go ahead and go inside."

I hesitated a moment before nodding. I turned and ran back over to Risu.

She held her hands up in the air as she saw me approach. "So what's up?" She asked.

"He said to head inside. Someone else can take care of it."

Risu rolled her eyes. "Well of course he would say that." She muttered under her breath. Her eyes brightened after taking a breath. "Okay, let's go!"

She then took off into the pouring rain and I quickly followed. When we entered the building, the hallway was filled with people. I held onto Risu's sleeve so as not to lose her as we made our way to the back where we figured would be the least crowded place. After about twenty minutes of waiting and the rain still coming down hard, the last of the students outside made it in.

"Okay everyone!" A girl's cheery voice rang throughout the hall. "Due to the weather, we're going to have to call it a day for this fund raiser! But, don't worry! If you still don't feel like heading home, there's going to be a get together at a cute restaurant down the street. Go ahead and start heading to it if you want; we'll meet you there!"

The hall was filled with murmurs as everyone began to move around, either to head outside, or to discuss with others what they should do.

"Weren't the others supposed to be here?" I asked Risu who was standing on her tiptoes, trying to look over the crowd.

"Yeah, that's who I'm looking for." She replied, falling for a moment back on her heels before bouncing back onto her toes.

"Ah! Found one of 'em!" She exclaimed and began to head in a direction. The crowd in the hall was thinning, making it easier to walk through. I could hear a frustrated voice headed our way, but thought nothing of it till I felt a hand grab my elbow. It was the student council vice-president. I never actually learned his name, so hopefully he wont expect me to say it.

"Hello." He said cheerily.

"Hi." I replied awkwardly.

"Would you do me a favor and find Prince Yun-Yun? I can't find him anywhere!" He added dramatically.

"Kakeru, you idiot! I just told _you_ to find him!" The boy behind him exclaimed. I realized that his voice had been the frustrated one I'd heard just moments ago.

"Oh come on, you just said that we need to find him, so I'm sending people out to find him. Seriously Chibi-suke, you can be so bossy!"

"DON'T CALL ME 'CHIBI-SUKE'!"

I sweat dropped and looked over to Risu for help, though she just stood there throwing me questioning stares.

'I'll catch up with you.' I mouthed. She hesitated a moment; her expression confused until I mouthed the words again. She had an 'oh' expression on her face before nodding and turning to find the others. I turned back to Kakeru and waited till he directed his attention to me once again.

"So, can you find him and tell him that we're all very worried?"

I hesitated a moment before nodding. "Sure." I turned and slowly began to walk down the hall. Having everyone that had been outside inside made the whole hallway a slippery mess. I heard someone call out to be careful and I bit my lip since I couldn't roll my eyes. I could already see that the floor was slippery and was obviously already being careful.

I spent about ten minutes walking through the lit halls. I tried my best to stay away from the halls that had the lights turned off. There was already thunder and hard rain going on that I didn't need anything more to be reminded of some kind of scary movie.

The movie, 'The Grudge' came to mind.

I felt a shiver run through me at the mere thought of it. Freaking movie.

I hesitated at a corner and mentally scolded myself. _'It was a movie, Kitani. A movie. There's nothing scary in this hallway.' _

_'And how many times did the character in the movie think that before they were actually killed?'_ I found myself asking...myself.

"It's just confusing." A voice sighed.

I stopped my mental argument when I noticed someone was on the other side of the corner.

"Well...have you tried talking to Rin about it?"

_'That's...Yuki's voice. Isn't it...?'_

"No. She's still not talking to me after the whole thing."

_'What...are you...are you ease dropping? Kitani! You're ease dropping! Stop it! Stop it now!'_

Yuki sighed. "I don't know what to tell you, Haru. Things don't always just work themselves out. You're going to have to do something about it sooner or later."

"I'm aware of that."

There was a pause.

By this time, I was nervous. If I didn't turn the corner, it was more likely that they would first and I'd be caught. But, if I went at that moment, wouldn't it have seemed a little too coincidental that I walked in right as there was a pause in their conversation?

_'...What? Jeez, I think too much.'_

I moved away from the wall; somehow I'd ended up leaning up against it. I turned the corner and saw that the two were sitting down against the wall and were now staring up at me.

"Er, hi." I said rather stupidly.

"Hello." Yuki greeted with a smile.

I fidgeted nervously for a moment. "Um, Yuki, Kakeru is looking for you. He says that 'everyone's worried sick'." Yuki made a face and obviously knew that I had used Kakeru's words and not my own.

"He would say that, wouldn't he?" He said under his breath as he pulled himself up. He turned to Haru to say some last words and I moved back and forth in indecision. Should I stay or should I go? I stopped, turned, and opened my mouth to just tell Yuki where he could find him but stopped again when I saw he was right in front of me.

"He's out front, I take it." He stared down at me with an expectant expression. I nodded and stepped aside so that he could pass by.

Whoa. Okay. Can kind of see now why he has so many fan girls. I've never actually seen him so up close before, and it really did catch me off guard. I let out a sigh, but held my lips shut when I heard a snort.

I turned to see Haru standing up.

"Enjoy the view?" He questioned sarcastically.

"...What?"

"Nothing."

He leaned his back against the wall and dropped his head to the side. I stared at him, unsure of what else to do. I then caught on to the reason for his sarcasm (am I that slow? ...sometimes) , and leaned my back to the wall as well.

"Are you always so protective over him?" I asked, tilting my head in his direction. He was quiet for a moment before turning to me with a puzzled expression.

"Over who?"

"Yuki."

He blinked at me, his expression never changing, then slowly turned his head away again. Okay, so maybe he's not going to answer me.

"I was just wondering..." I mumbled and turned my head away as well. I felt my palms start to sweat from my nervousness and clasped my hands behind my back. "If it were my cousin, I would be protective too, I guess." I dropped my head so that my hair would fall forward and hide my face from view. "But, you know...I'm not a fan girl or anything. So...you don't have to worry about it." I lifted my head and stared straight to the wall across from me.

"I'm not going to try to 'sink my claws into him' or anything." That didn't sound the same as in my head, but I turned to him with a smile anyway. He was looking at me and it looked as if he wanted to say something, though he never did. I slowly turned away again and pushed away from the wall.

"I'm sorry for my rudeness."

I hesitated in my movements and looked to him. He lifted away from the wall and stood thinking for a moment.

"I don't think you're trying to get to Yuki."

"Oh." Well don't I feel stupid.

"You might just want to watch your drool when his fan girls are around." He then began to walk in the same direction Yuki had and I became confused and somewhat defensive at his words. I followed him as he passed me.

"I didn't drool- I _don't_ drool when I see him!" I replied heatedly. Haru kept on walking, with his hands in his pockets and his expression completely carefree as he stared up into the air. I scowled when I realized that he wasn't going to say anymore on the matter and crossed my arms.

"That's not cool." I grumbled.


	10. Chapter 9

_**Chapter Nine**_

_'A life you don't live is still lost. So stand on the edge with me, hold back your fear and see, nothing is real till its gone.' -Goo Goo Dolls_

**After making it back to the front of the school with Haru, I found that Risu and Kaze were waiting for me out in the rain. I quickly opened the door and leaned out of it enough to call out to them. **

"**You guys! What are you doing?"**

**Risu stopped twirling, which resulted in almost falling over, but Kaze steadied her. Both were drenched but had joyful smiles on their faces as they turned to me. **

"**There she is!" Risu exclaimed, throwing her arm out before her to point at me. It was much like the movement of a drunk person. My guess was that her world was still spinning. Kaze grabbed onto her outstretched arm to make sure that she kept her balance and looked up at me from under her hood. **

"**Kitani, are you going to come?" **

**I stepped out and glanced back at Haru. **

"**Where we going?" I questioned. He stepped up to the door, holding it open and looking out through the window. **

"**To that after party, thing." Risu answered with her head shifted to the side as if she were trying to look out from under a hood too, though she wore no jacket.**

**There was a crash of thunder and I winced, backing into the wall for something to grip. I looked back at my friends to see that Kaze had quite literally jumped onto Risu. **

"**Kaze, what are you doing?" Risu questioned as she looked down to where Kaze was glued to her side. Kaze looked up at Risu and laughed nervously. **

"**Sorry." She mumbled. "The thunder scared me."**

**Risu sighed and patted Kaze's head. "It's okay." She said in an exaggerated forgiving tone. **

"**You should go with your friends before one of them gets sick." Haru said to me, his eyes never leaving the two. Why would they? Risu and Kaze did look cute playing in the rain the way they were. **

"**Yeah," I replied, turning my gaze back to them. I lifted my hood over my head and hopped down the steps to them. Once I'd jogged to their side, I saw that Risu was very nearly close to shivering in her soaked blue blouse. **

"**Where's your jacket?" I asked her as we began walking to that place where everyone was supposed to be headed (I'd never been there before). **

"**It's at home." Risu answered bluntly as she wiped her wet bangs from her forehead. **

**It was fun walking with them in the rain. Their excited energy was exactly what I had been hoping to get out of Miharu the day before. My guess was that she had just had a bad day and wasn't in the mood for craziness. We entered the semi-crowded building and there was a cool brush of air that greeted us as we walked in. Risu shivered and muttered under her breath about the slight gust. **

**I looked around the place and guessed it to be a restaurant of some sort. There were tables to the left of the building that some of our classmates had already claimed, and a small stage in the center. To the far right where the lights were somewhat dimmer, was a bar where some of the older customers sat, either drinking, conversing, or smoking. **

"**You sure this is the right place?" I asked, my eyes taking in everything. **

**There were waitresses going back and forth with trays of drinks and huge plates of food. Expensive looking food.**

"**Yeah." Kaze replied in a sure tone. "I was talking with a friend who was the one that suggested this place to Kimi. Everything he described to me, points this place out. Besides, some of our classmates are here too." She added when I hadn't said anything. **

**I stared out at the place with an uneasy feeling. It wasn't that the place didn't look comforting, it was just that the atmosphere intimidated me. How a place is able to do that, I will never be able to put into words, it just did. **

**Risu was now visibly shivering in her wet state, so I slipped out of my jacket and handed it out to her. She gave an excited squeal as she took the jacket from my hand and slipped into it. "Thank you!" She beamed.**

"**Do you guys want to find a place to sit?" Kaze asked the both of us.**

"**Yeah, let's just go sit with them." Risu looked back and forth from Kaze and I. Kaze nodded and I just shrugged which was more than enough for Risu. **

"**Okay then!" She bounded down towards the table and immediately began conversing with the people. **

"**You coming, Kitani?" Kaze looked up at me, hesitating in following Risu. I nodded reassuringly to her and followed her down to the table. Once we joined Risu by the table, she pointed out each individual and gave a name, though there were so many so fast, I gave up half way into it. **

"**And they are Kaze and Kitani." Risu ended with a deep breath. **

**Kaze seemed to have done a better job than I had because she laughed off the slight awkwardness that I felt and sat down in an open seat. I silently mimicked her and sat down. Conversation came naturally for both Kaze and Risu, so I sat at the side, not out of the conversation, but not participating in it either.**

**I knew Risu was glancing at me now and then, most probably wondering if I was all right. It was these moments where I tried to look particularly interested in whatever was being said.**

**Ah, but this didn't last long. Eventually, I felt Risu nudge me in the side, causing me to look up at her in questioning. **

"**You okay?" She asked.**

**Suddenly it seemed as if the whole table were holding its breath, waiting for my answer. Would I bring them down or let them continue with the good mood was what they were all thinking. **

"**I'm fine." I shied away from looking Risu in the eye and played with the hem of my sleeve. All the others accepted this answer and went on with different conversations. Kaze remained quiet as Risu held her stare on me. She finally just sighed and turned back to the person on her other side. I released the breath I'd been holding and glanced at Kaze. She gave me a weak smile, as if she were apologizing for something; then turned back to the person sitting across from her. **

"**Hey! Wasn't Kaze going to perform something at the fund raiser?" Someone down the table questioned rather loudly. This caught my attention greatly. Kaze blushed and Risu leaned over the table to look at her. **

"**You were going to perform?" She asked incredulously. **

"**No." Kaze denied in a small voice as she ducked her head to try to hide her flaming cheeks. **

"**Really?" The person continued, he had everyone's attention now. "I could've sworn. Someone from the student council said you were going to sing."**

**I looked back to Kaze and saw now that her hands were shaking from nervousness. **

"**She wouldn't do that." I said out loud. There was a moment of hesitation as thoughts like 'what do I say now?' ran through my head. I turned and looked down at the guy who had been talking. "She only holds private shows; for us." I finished by wrapping an arm around Kaze's shoulders and pulling her exaggeratedly close. **

"**Yeah, and she'll only go public for a very special occasion. Like one of our weddings or something." Risu joined in. She then snapped her fingers at Kaze, making her look up from her hands. "Which reminds me, I want you to sing at **_**my**_** wedding."**

**This caught everyone's attention. **

"**You're getting married?"**

"**Since when?"**

"**To who? To Segi? Are you sure?"**

"**Hey!" Risu snapped defensively at that last remark. Needless to say, that got everyone off of Kaze. I tilted my head towards her and whispered that I was going to head back home soon. **

"**Why? Are you okay?"**

"**I'm fine, just tired."**

"**Oh, okay." She frowned and I could tell that she was blaming herself for something. I tried to smile reassuringly, though I think it just made her feel worse. **

"**Are you okay?" I finally asked.**

"**I...-"**

"**Hey, Kitani." Risu leaned over my shoulder, not having realized that Kaze was about to say something. Kaze dropped her gaze depressively and turned a little back to the table. "Hm?" Risu took notice. "What's the matter with you?" She questioned.**

**Kaze snapped her eyes back to Risu in alarm. "Oh! Nothing. I was just thinking..."**

**Risu remained quiet, waiting for Kaze to finish her sentence. "About what?" She asked finally. **

**Kaze shook her head. "It's nothing important, never mind."**

**Risu restrained from throwing her hands up in the air in confusion. Neither Kaze or I were letting her in on our thoughts at the moment and it seemed to be bugging her. **

"**Hey, other people are coming in." I directed both of their attentions to the door where Machi and the rest of the student council walked in, including Haru and Momiji. **

**Risu gasped and jumped out of her seat, bounding towards the door. She gave the person closest to her a hug, which just happened to be Machi. She seemed to stiffen at the contact, like she'd never actually been hugged before. Well, with Risu, Machi should become accustomed to the greeting over time. **

**Risu pulled away from Machi then and made to hug Haru, but he just held a hand up before she could get too close. **

"**Aw, fine, be that way!" She exclaimed, but no one was meant to take that seriously. She then led the group back to the table. **

**My head began to pound; I was only able to nod to them in greeting. No one took notice though, I wasn't sure whether or not to be thankful for that. I rested my head in my hand. Everybody's words were just passing by in a slow blur. I couldn't keep up with what was being said and eventually just stared straight through the table. Focusing on nothing in particular seemed to dull the pain in my head a bit. **

**My mind drifted. Nothing special. Just a favorite song that wouldn't leave me alone. Then, Risu was calling my name and Kaze was nudging my side. **

"**You coming?" Risu questioned. Her voice suddenly seemed so loud and I found myself cringing in embarrassment. Most eyes were on me again. **

**I cleared my throat and sat up straight, removing my head from my hand. "Sorry, I zoned out there. What?"**

**Risu rolled her eyes and stood up. I hadn't realized that everyone else was standing up as well. I quickly jumped up to join them and looked to Risu for an answer.**

"**We're going to the arcade. You coming or what?" **

"**Oh." I scratched the back of my head and looked away from her for a moment. I pretended to look around at everyone before facing her again and stuffing my hands in my pockets. "No. I think I'm just going to go back to Miharu's."**

**Yuki, Haru, Momiji, and Kaze had all been getting ready to go behind Risu, but when they heard my answer, they stopped moving and stared.**

**Inwardly I cringed, but outwardly I just rose my eyebrows. "Is that okay?"**

**Everyone else that had been at the table were already heading towards the door. Risu shrugged, though she stared at me curiously. "Sure, that's fine. We'll meet up with you later, okay?"**

"**Er," I shut my mouth and restrained myself. I gave a nod and a small smile. After about two minutes of bickering between Risu and I over who should get the jacket, we finally exited the building. I wasn't able to convince Risu to keep the jacket for the day, even though it was obvious she'd need it more than I did. I was just going to stay inside, she was still going to run around the rest of the day. How the heck does she do that?**

**I zipped up my jacket with a frown and began to walk down the pavement. The group was headed in the opposite direction so it surprised me when Haru offered to walk me home. He said he'd catch up with the others later. It also confused me when Risu started making gestures behind Haru's back as we were walking our separate ways. Maybe I wasn't the one who needed to be stared at curiously; a couple passing could've agreed. **

**The walk with Haru was quiet. It was no different than the first time; I still felt the need to start a conversation.**

"**So, did you have something to do that's this way?" I questioned.**

"**Not particularly, no." **

**I paused for a moment, hesitant to ask out of curiosity, "Then why'd you bother?" **

"**You don't look well."**

**Somehow, someone saying it out loud just made the pounding in my head more fierce, causing me to wince in pain. **

"**So I was right." Haru said, catching the twitch. **

"**Ugh. I guess." I groaned, not really interested in denying. To be blunt, I felt like crap. I didn't want to do anything, I didn't want to say anything, I just wanted to curl up somewhere dark. Damn the logics in life that say what goes up has got to fall. I was feeling fine yesterday; so this is payment?  
"Are we there yet?" I questioned through half lidded eyes. **

"**You tell me."**

**I forced my eyes open and looked up at him before looking around. I ducked my head and the word 'no' came out in a groan. "It's just a few more streets." I found myself lazily lifting my hand and pointing forward before dropping it back to my side. **

**We were able to make it back to Miharu's, though someone unexpected showed up; and it wasn't what I wanted at the moment. **

**My father pushed up away from the brick wall that was just before Miharu's home, next to the gate entrance. My steps faltered; though, I kept moving, slower than before. I couldn't see Haru's reaction, mainly because he was watching my father just as my father was watching him. **

"**Afternoon, Kitani." He greeted with a nod. His eyes never changed from the untrusting glare that he'd had directed at Haru. **

"**Dad, how long have you been standing out here?" I questioned in shock. **

**He shrugged. "Awhile. Who is this?" He inclined his head towards Haru, although now he refused to look at him. **

"**Hatsuharu Sohma. Hatsuharu, this is my...father..." **

**They exchanged nods and that was it. An awkward silence took over. **

"**You haven't called." My father decided to bring up. Of course. Why else would he be here? **

**I felt uncomfortable having Haru there and was about to turn to tell him that he could leave when my father interrupted me. "I'm talking to you, not him."**

**I turned back to him with a strained patience. "I know that." I said through gritted teeth. **

"**You can make time for a boyfriend, but not your old man?" **

"**He's not my boyfriend, dad."**

"**Well he's someone you'd rather spend time with than me."**

"**What is..." My question died. It was unbelievable. My father was acting childish! As if I'd chosen someone over him; which I had a right to do anyway. **

**I turned to Haru again. "You can go ahead and go." **

**His reply was interrupted by the sound of my father spitting on the sidewalk. **

**My gaze was redirected back to the grown man yet again. "Why are you here? Because I didn't call? Great. Maybe another sixteen years and you'll figure it out."**

"**Figure what out?"**

"**I don't know! That maybe you had your chance and blew it? That my whole child hood, you could've done something more than just send money once a month. You had years to get in touch with me. Years, dad. Now all of a sudden, you want to be a father? Is it because you have a new girlfriend and she's fallen in love with you because of the fact that you had children?" **

**I could see the pain on his face and cut off anything else I was going to say that didn't need to be said. No matter how much I wanted to say them, only one thing needed to be made clear. **

"**I'm not doing it. I'm not moving in with you." I shook my head to get rid of the guilt that was slowly consuming me. I felt as if I should say more, but the words were caught in my throat. So I just remained quiet, my eyes glued to the sidewalk at my feet. **

**It may have sounded rash out loud, it may have looked childish to a passerby; but at that moment, I didn't feel like he was my father. At the moment, I wasn't talking with a dad. I was just a teenager, turning down the offer of living with a stranger.**


	11. Chapter 10

_**Chapter 10**_

_**'I wont take this anymore.' -Staind**_

I dropped my school bag down onto my desk and sank into the seat. It was another Monday and I felt sleep deprived. Should've known better than to think that Risu would let me sleep though.

"Kitani!" Her voice echoed in my head, making me cringe a bit.

"Huh?" I look up at her blankly, which she returns with a confused expression. Deciding that what she has to say isn't really that important, I drop my head back down into my folded arms. Risu took that moment to circle around to the front of my desk and place her hand on my shoulder.

"Hey," Her voice sounded a bit distant, I could picture her looking around the classroom. "Not to alert the fangirls or anything, but have you seen Haru?"

"No." I grumble, too tired to lift my head. I felt her hand leave my shoulder and briefly wondered if she left. That would've been kind of strange though. Of course she wouldn't leave.

This time I felt her hands on both my shoulders, pushing me up to look at her.

"What?" I nearly whined for being taken from my dark place.

"Stop being so mopey and help me find him!" Risu ordered.

I cocked an eye brow and looked at her. She was serious about this. I sighed. "What do you need to find him for?" I questioned, reluctantly getting up from my seat.

"The deadline is next week for our project and we haven't done anything!" Risu snapped.

"Woah, dude. You're screwed." The sarcastic words left my mouth before I had time to process them. Oh well. Risu didn't seem to mind.

We left the class room and began to walk down the hall. Twenty minutes. That's all I was giving Risu before heading back to class for the bell. Man. My head was starting to hurt again.

"Hey," Risu grabbed a random kid walking by by the sleeve and pulled him close. "Have you seen Momiji?" She questioned in a manner that made her seem like a bully asking for lunch money.

The boy nervously shook his head no. Risu sighed then let him go. I crossed my arms and rubbed the side of my head.

"I thought we were looking for Haru." I drawled with an accusing tone.

"We are. Those two just happen to always be together. I figure, we find one, we find the other." She turned back to me with annoyed eyes. "You think I'm playing around here?"

"No. Of course not." 'Not anymore.'

Ten minutes. That's all she had left, and I let her know too.

Risu scratched her head frustratedly. "AH! I've got it!"

"What?"

"Come on!" She grabbed onto my sleeve and pulled me further down the hall, away from my desired seat.

"Yo!" Risu called down the hall. I looked over her shoulder to see who she was calling out to.

"You're Kyo, right?" Risu questioned as we both came up to the orange head.

He seemed annoyed to see us; which I'm not surprised. "Yeah. What do you want?" He questioned.

"Where the hell is Haru?" She snapped, coming to the end of her patience. It looked like she put Kyo at the end of his pretty fast.

"Why the hell would I know? I'm not his baby-sitter. Leave me alone." He then turned and began heading inside a classroom.

"Risu, just find him during lunch." I suggested before she could continue going after the short tempered Souhma.

"Do you know where he is during lunch?" She whirled around on me.

I shrugged. "No."

She threw her hands up in the air in an exasperated manner. "Well there you go. I don't know either. How am I supposed to talk to him if I don't know where he is?" She questioned vehemently.

"You...look for him." I replied slowly.

Her face scrunched up as she studied me, debating whether or not to take me seriously.

"Look, we're both going to be late for class, so let's just go." I turned away from her and slowly began walking back down the hall.

Today was a Monday. And the way it was going, it sure as hell felt like it. Haru didn't show up in any classes and it just pissed Risu off more. During lunch, she was so peeved that she was annoying everyone else, including Segi.

A whole week went by and nothing changed. Risu ended up having to do the whole project by herself; calling me almost every day to vent out her frustration. Today was the due date and I had high hopes that a weight would be lifted from my shoulders after Hirotachi's class.

I walked into the classroom and passed that cold empty desk. Haru wasn't going to show up today, I figured that much. 'Where the hell is he?' Dropping my bag at my desk, I proceeded to take out our project pamphlet. Machi and I had stayed up late last night in order to finish, and as I looked over the papers one last time, I felt a sense of pride swell in my chest.

"Kitani!"

My grip tightened on the pamphlet as I looked up to see Risu bounding through the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"Look this over for me, will you?" She held out a ruffled blue folder with the corners of papers spilling out of the edge. "I stayed up _all night_ last night typing everything out."

I slowly placed the pamphlet on the desk and took the offered folder, glancing over the information on the papers.

"So did you finish yours?" She questioned, referring to the red pamphlet.

"Mm-hm. Machi and I stayed up last night finishing the last of it. It's pretty good."

Risu grunted and leaned against another desk across from mine.

Students began to file into the room but Risu paid no mind. "Do you think he'll show up today?" I could tell she was looking over at Haru's desk.

"And suffer your wrath? Nah, I think he's going to lie low for awhile." I replied, keeping my gaze on her report.

"Mm."

"Hey, Machi." I greeted when I saw the girl walk through the door. She looked at me and silently nodded before continuing to her desk.

I did feel bad for Risu. That girl put so much effort into the report only to get a barely passing grade on it. The assignment really was a two-person job. After school, Risu had been beyond pissed. She jammed headphones over her ears and walked home with the volume on to the extreme, without saying a word to anyone.

"A lone wolf." A low voice sounded from behind me, making me jump. I turned to see Hanajima-san staring after Risu. "That's what she resembles, don't you think?"

I stared at Hanajima for a moment before glancing back at my friend. "More like a brooding lioness." I murmur.

"Really?" Hanajima's velvet voice questioned.

I shrugged. If Risu were going to be any kind of animal, she would be a fierce protector, bold, and proud.

"I don't see her so. A lioness is a leader, she carries the responsibility of her pack and cubs. Risu, carries a lost soul who wont be able to take responsibility for others until she can settle her inner being."

Turning to face Hanajima fully, I fixed her with a questioning stare. She didn't face me however. "We have many wolves at school this year." She added before turning and walking down the sidewalk.

Risu was forced to do the entire project and report by herself. Hatsuharu was still going to get his half of the credit. That just didn't bode well with me. I know what it's like to have my credit taken away and it's not the best feeling in the world.

My aunt didn't have to work today, so she was able to pick up Telane right after she was let out of school. I had about an hour to spare before anyone expected me back at the house, and I felt obligated to get justice for Risu. I was going to track down that Souhma and find out where the hell he's been.

As I walked down the sidewalks, I wondered where to look. The city is pretty huge, how was I supposed to find him? Yell out his name up and down the streets and hope someone would help? Not likely.

Finding a wall that was short enough for me to jump and sit down on, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Airesth's number. Hopefully she'd know where to look to find him. She somehow knows almost everything anyway.

_'You should try the Souhma Estate.'_

"They have an Estate?" I asked incredulously.

_'Yeah. The family is pretty huge. I don't know exactly where it is but I know what area it's in, hold on a sec.'_

I pulled out a pen and wrote down the area on the outside of my hand. After thanking her, I hung up, jumped down from the wall, and tried to discern which way to go.

Half an hour was spent finding the darn place, meaning I only had about ten minutes to find and talk to Haru before I had to head home. I stood at the gates, feeling almost intimidated. What am I supposed to do now? Then, I thought about Risu and some of my recklessness flared up. I was just about to knock on the gates when a voice from beside stopped me.

I turned to see the small blond form that was Momiji Souhma, standing just a few feet away from me.

"Kitani? What are you doing here?" He questioned.

I hesitated in answering. There went my recklessness. "I'm looking for Hatsuharu. I was told I could find him here."

Momiji's eyes widened a moment, before he quickly recovered by pasting a curious expression over his last. I didn't know what the last expression was, but I knew he was hiding it very well. "Why are you looking for him, if you don't mind me asking."

"He..." I searched for words that wouldn't lead to me sounding like a homicidal maniac. "He ditched my friend when she really needed his help and I wanna see if I can kick his ass or not."

Momiji giggled and gave a bright smile. "Wow, Haru really knows how to make friends!" He opened his sparkling blue eyes and met mine. "He's not here right now, though. He hasn't come back from school yet."

"But...he wasn't at school." Momiji was there today, he's been there all week, he should know that Haru hasn't been coming to school.

"The last anyone saw or heard from him was that he was going to school." Momiji replied secretively. "So, he hasn't come back yet."

"Huh." I stayed rooted to the spot for a moment, wondering what to do next. "I apologize for taking your time then, Souhma-san." I bowed politely and intended to walk back home when the sound of his giggles stopped me.

"Don't be so formal. You're probably older than me." He stated simply with a closed eyed smile.

I smiled back. "Right. I'll see you around, Momiji." He seemed satisfied with that farewell, so I took my leave. After I walked a ways from the gates of the estate, I began to ponder Haru's disappearance. If his own family didn't know where he was, what chances were there for me to find him?

I reached a cross walk just as the light turned red. Sighing, I shifted my weight to one foot and began to bite my thumb nail. I guess Risu's justice would have to wait to when I actually find the guy.

Cars passed by, hitting me with a whooshing wind as they went. My attention was averted from my thoughts as a tuft of white unruly hair moved on the sidewalk across the street.

It was Haru. The light still had a few seconds before turning green, and that's how much time I had to collect some kind of words to say to him. It was easier when I thought he was just skipping school, but to know that he hadn't been home either changed things.

A chime rang, and cars stopped. I kicked off from the sidewalk and ran across the street, hoping that I wouldn't lose sight of him.

"Hey!" I called out, but his steps didn't even falter. Either he was deaf or ignoring everything around him. He wasn't dressed to go to school, how did he get away with that excuse? His shoulders were hunched and his hands were shoved deeply into his jacket pockets. I could tell when someone was angry, and he seemed pissed. I don't know what kept me chasing after him and grabbing his arm. But I did. And his eyes turned to me with absolutely no recognition.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

'**In slow motion, the blast is beautiful.' - Snow Patrol**

His shoulders were rigid, his back hunched. His entire presence reeked of doom. And yet I still ran up to him. Ignoring my instincts, I called out his name.

"Hatsuharu-san," I breathed in raggedly. It'd been awhile since I'd sprinted with an actual goal in mind.

He'd kept to his strong strides and didn't glance at me once; I found my time to rest short. Starting forward after him, words caught in my throat and cold air filled my lungs.

"Hatsuharu-san."

Silence.

"Hatsuharu-san," I repeated stronger than before. A guttural growl reached my ears, raising confusion and creating a falter in my steps.

"Haru?"

_Tiny, small, squeaky, ugh!_

I cleared my throat. "Haru-"

Pain registered on my back first as his forearm slammed into my chest, forcing me up against a wall. Snapping my eyes up to him, I met no other emotion but anger in his gaze.

"Why are you speaking so familiar to me, huh? When someone ignores your call, you should get the hint and leave them alone!" He'd yelled in my face. A flame of anger kindled in my chest in response.

"Well if you had actually answered my call," I shoved his arm away and stood tall once more. "I wouldn't have resorted to informalities and you would find that we're not exactly strangers you jerk!"

His eyes changed. I'm not too sure how for he turned too quickly for me to examine. His eyes fell to the sidewalk a couple of yards away.

There, curled in robes, lying on the cemented ground was the body of a young woman. Her face was hidden by strands of black hair that cascaded about her head and by two clenched pale fists.

One step. Then another. Haru made his way to the fallen woman and knelt down by her side. The fight left me and a sense of panic began to swell. Stepping away from the wall, eyes glued to the pained form, my fingers subconsciously inched for the cell phone in my school bag.

His hand reached out and lightly patted the dark-haired head, startling its owner. She stared up at him, shock written clearly upon her tear streaked face. Then, suddenly she began to sob, burying her face in those marble white palms.

"I-I'm sorry." She spoke, her voice laden with guilt. "It was worthless. I couldn't find it. I couldn't...find your happiness...Haru." Her voice drifted into soft tones before crying out another apology.

Sitting back on his heels, Haru examined her. "Hunh. Then that means..." His calm voice brought a hesitance to her tears as she listened. "...Your journey's over."

His words had the effect of placing a cool towel on a feverish head, for her eyelids slipped shut letting one more tear fall. "Yeah." She replied brokenly.

He then leaned over to whisper words meant for her ears only. Blank confusion took over her features as his words sank in. His eyes staring down lovingly at her, one didn't need to ask if he had things covered or if she was all right. He had her under his wing and she could be nowhere safer.

My entire body was numb. My earlier concern had drained to somewhere else which was enough to snap me from my stupor. I shouldn't be watching this. I shouldn't have been thinking or feeling the things that I was.

Haru proceeded to pick the woman up which gave me my opportunity. I slowly began to sidestep, keeping my back to the wall and my front facing them. There was a shift in the air that signaled I was at the corner of the sidewalk.

Turning on my heel I began a trek down the concrete path away from the two. My heart was pounding and I suddenly felt very stupid. Reasons for why were cloudy in my head. I needed to walk, that's what I needed to do. And I did, by taking the long way home.

_**- -**_

Restlessness. It's been awhile. Finally come back to run through my veins, drive me crazy at night? Heh. I thought as much. I guess your last victim finally began to bore you with a happy life and a certain mind.

The bell for the end of the last morning class rang. I carefully slipped my folders and spirals back into my school bag as everyone stood up. Haku waited by the door for me while Risu had gone on ahead.

It'd been two weeks and she still felt a grudge against the mellow Souhma. He had come back to school the day before and man did Risu let him have it. He never apologized, just quietly took in her words and let her storm off. I knew she'd get over it eventually. She just needed time to cool down.

"Is something going on?" Haku inquired quietly as we walked down the hall. I looked over to him, catching his eye for a moment before shrugging.

"Why?"

"Just 'cause. I had to write notes in class today." He replied with a shrug of his own.

My shoulders slumped as I mumbled an apology. He didn't seem to really mind, just pointing out the obvious, I guess. That, and wanting to know if he'd have to take his own notes for the rest of the week.

As we waited in line for our lunch my mind began to wonder again. Not only had it been two weeks in time span for Risu's grudge, but also since I had last spoken with Haru. His attention remained elsewhere in class and I hadn't been bumping into him as much as before. The woman he had helped was also on my mind. Beating myself down every night with the notion that I shouldn't have left so suddenly wasn't exactly something I'd forgotten either. Who was she? Was she really all right? What if she had been seriously injured?

I hate it when logic can turn a mind mad. Logic being that she had obviously been in pain and, to ease my own conscience, I should have called an ambulance to see that she would have been taken care of.

Sitting out in the grass with fresh air and a nice breeze, I was able to calm down a great degree.

"I'm going to _kill _him!" Risu's loud exclamation pulled me from my silent reverie.

"Who?" Kaze questioned with interest, resulting in the majority of the group to roll their eyes. She had opened the floor for Risu's rampage.

"You have to _ask_?" She practically screeched. "Haru! I'm going to rip that white hair from his head and smack that dull look from his face!" Her fist punched the air as she imagined it being Haru.

Airesth dropped her head onto my shoulder and murmured in a sing-song voice, "I'm going to smack her if she doesn't sto-p."

"She's…"

A defense died on my lips, my mind too strained to come up with an excuse for her more so annoying behavior.

"Let's go somewhere!" Risu exclaimed as she jumped behind us, her sudden close proximity startling both Airesth and I.

"Yes, let's go!" Kaze agreed in excitement, rising to her knees and clasping her hands before her.

"This Saturday, I say we make a day just for us girls. No _guys_!" She sneered the word 'guys' as if she were suddenly a male hating feminist. Segi caught the tone as well and let out a quiet sigh.

"You two in?" Risu questioned, her arms draping over our shoulders and pulling us closer to her body.

"Where exactly will we be going?" Airesth inquired, sitting up straight and shrugging away from Risu's arm.

"The market place is open all day; we can go shopping then maybe catch a movie at the old theater." A common Saturday thrown together last minute…sounded almost tempting.

"We have to go you guys, I'm actually free this weekend and have some saved up money." Kaze added pleadingly.

My eyes turned to her at that statement. I wondered if Kaze somehow knew of my weak spots. Her eyes were too shiny to be denied just as her innocent face couldn't possibly be turned away. In short, I was already going, just had to wait for the day to come.

--

The market place was filled with early morning shoppers. Venders lined the walls, their alluring aromas already taking flight into the air. I was close to losing myself among these venders when a familiar form ran through the crowd towards me.

Kaze stood before me, her long brown hair parted into two braids and dressed in a light blue sundress that fit her small figure well. Smiling brightly at me, she greeted with a, "Good morning, Kitani!"

"G'morning Kaze," I returned, glancing at the messy head that had followed her through the different people. Kovu stood just behind Kaze, their hands entwined with each other while his other hand rested lazily in his loose blue jeans pocket. "Hey Kovu."

"Kitani," Kovu nodded in my direction with a friendly smile though his eyes quickly moved back to his girlfriend. "I better get going before Risu comes and throws a hissy fit." He mumbled with a smirk before leaning down and pecking Kaze softly on the lips. "I'll talk to you later. See you around Kitani."

"Bye Kovu."

"Later."

Once Kovu had disappeared from sight, Kaze turned back to me and linked her arm through mine. "So should we wait for the others or start browsing?"

A grumbling from my stomach answered before my lips could. Lifting a hand to my pony tail, my fingers absently played with the tresses of hanging hair. "Would you mind if we got something to eat first?"

--

"Look at this!" Risu exclaimed pulling out a sparkling blue dress from the metal racks to show the rest of us.

"Nice." I commented with a nod of my head.

"Kaze, you should wear this for Kovu." Airesth remarked with a sly grin as she fingered the material.

"You think so?" Kaze eyed the dress while chewing her cheek in thought. "Hmm…"

"You should get him to take you to a fancy restaurant so you can wear it." I added, getting a rising blush on Kaze's cheeks in return.

"Get him to rent a fancy car while he's at it." Airesth continued thoughtfully.

"Guys, I can't do that." Kaze breathed, nervous at the ideas we were proposing.

"You should tell him, 'Bitch, I'm dating you, you should do at least this one thing for me.'"

"Airesth!"

Risu slammed the hanger back onto the rack before turning frustrated eyes on us. "I told you all, this day is just for us _girls_! No mentioning of guys at all, unless they're hot, single, and famous."

"You had me at hot and single." I admitted dryly, arousing a laugh from all.

"Seriously." Airesth commented before we decided to move on to the next store.

--

Three clothes lines later and an ice cream shop for lunch, Risu had a sudden yearning for chocolate ice cream. Tossing the rest of her cone in a trash can, Risu began to take off down the sidewalk.

"Risu, you know you just threw away a _chocolate _cone that still had _chocolate_ ice cream in it!" I called after her, confusion and disbelief etched on my face.

"It doesn't do it for me!" She called back as she turned to face me, though her feet kept leading her to the candy shop. "I want a candy bar! Oh! Or pockey!"

The confusion and disbelief swiftly turned to frustration. "Then you should have given the darn cone to me!"

With a wave of her hand, Risu spun on her heel and left us be. Kaze pat my shoulder. "You still have yours to finish, enjoy it."

"Yeah, I know." I grumbled, taking a rough bite from the sweet cone.

After supplying me with a smile, Kaze took off to catch up to Risu, having already finished her ice cream treat. Airesth remained beside me, her small pink tongue still taking licks of her ice cream. Her arm nudged mine. "Come on."

We moved slowly through the populated sidewalk, neither of us in a hurry to enter another store. No food was ever allowed inside and unlike others who either ate too quickly or gave up, we took our time in enjoying our treats.

"Is that the one she went into?" I questioned, lifting my cone in the direction of a colorful building a few yards away.

"Hm, I guess." Airesth replied, more interested in her r ainbow sherbert.

"Okay that's great!" A voice cheered from inside a photo stall just to our right. A woman then emerged from behind the red curtains, followed closely by two young kids; one boy the other a girl. They picked up the developed pictures before walking away hand in hand.

"I don't think I'll have two." Airesth remarked as she watched the cheerful trio.

"Two what?" I questioned, eyeing the way the woman's hands clasped both small ones securely. The grip must be warm, I found myself musing.

"Two kids. I'll just take one and it better be a boy."

"You don't want a girl?"

"Heck no! She'd cause me all the trouble I did my parents. Boy, all the way."

What a disappointment. I always imagined when Airesth had a child, she'd have a girl and spend hours upon hours dressing her up for even the simplest of outings. "If you say so." I replied with a short laugh. She'd change her mind over the years…

The young kids ran straight into the swinging door of the candy shop. A group halted in their exit to let them pass. A smile tugged at my lips, however it quickly vanished when a familiar head of white registered as belonging to one of the people about ot exit.

My heart sped and my nerves shook. Quickly, I grabbed onto Airesth's arm and pulled her into the photobooth.

"Ow! Kitani!" AAiresth cried as she slid across the seat and slammed into the opposite wall. Shutting the red curtain behind us, I quietly sat down and took a deep shaky breath.

"What the hell was that?!" Airesth exclaimed. "If you wanted to take a picture you could have just asked."

Man, if only the curtains could be a two way mirror instead; I couldn't tell what was going on outside. "That's not what I'm doing." I replied distractedly, my eyes attempting to peek through the slit between the curtains.

"Then what are you doing?"

"Hiding."

"From who?"

"Don't know."

"Then why?"

"Just cause."

An impatient breath was huffed behind me, however I felt that was the least of my concern. The sound of coins clanging against metal caught my attention so that I turned to watch Airesth's movements.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to take pictures."

"Why?"

"Because I dropped my ice cream and I'm bored. I should just make you buy me another one." She grumbled before pressing the button to start the camera.

"Wait a sec, there's a screen outside that shows our pictures! Airesth!"

"Kitani!" Risu's head pooped through the curtains, causing me to jump back and slip completely off of the booth seat.

"Risu?" Both Airesth and I blurted, though Airesth's tone was much calmer than mine. A flash went off just by my eye, blinding me for a moment as Risu began talking.

"Here you guys are. What are you doing?" Her small mouth frowned down at me as she took in my position on the floor.

"This _is_ a photobooth." Airesth answered in a monotone. "We're taking photos."

Another blinding flash; I needed to get up from the floor.

"Let me in!" Risu jumped into the now cramped booth, her spread out form keeping me down.

"Wait-Risu!" Her legs lay out over my knees as she continued to move around with Airesth, their poses ever changing. Knees came too close to my face, my hands began to tingle from holding up my weight and the flashes continued to blind me.

Claustrophobia had never been a problem for me before; I actually found comfort in tight places, but that moment was different.

Headlights flashed with each snapping noise and instead of my friends' laughter I swore breakes were screeching in my ears.

"Let me out!"I unconsciously growled as I pushed myself through their tangling limbs and past the rough red curtains. My rush was abruptly stopped as an arm met my exit, swiftly spinning me around so that I collided with the cool side of the photo booth.

Startled gasps erupted from around me as Kaze's voice registered in my head. My body stood frozen. Hands pressed against steel, forehead rested between hands and eyes squeezed shut, I quietly gathered my wits.

"Kitani. Kitani, are you okay?" A small hand placed itself on my shoulder.

The rings have the curtain scraped against the pole which held them up as Risu and Airesth tumbled out onto the sidewalk.

"What was that about?" Airesth questioned, her tone clipped.

"What was what about?" A familiar voice returned.

The muscles on my back relaxed when I realized she hadn't been speaking to me.

"You just slammed her into the booth! I heard it!"

"Ha-ru's in tro-uble." Another voice sang.

"...I am?"

"Yes!" Three voices snapped.

"I'm fine." My hands pushed away from the booth so I stood up straight. "Just tripped over my feet, nothing big."

"Since when do _you_ trip on your own feet?" Risu questioned sardonically.

"Just now." I returned plainly.

Kaze nervously scratched her arm as Risu continued to give me a disbelieving look.

"What are you two doing here?" Airesth stared inquiringly at the two Souhma boys who, until that moment, I hadn't completely registered were really there.

Risu's eyes finally turned away from me and brightened as she jumped to their side. "I ran into them in the candy shop and asked them to hang out for awhile."

Momiji pulled a bright red lollipop from his mouth as if to justify the claim.

"Well that's cool." Kaze responded with a warm smile.

"What happened to the no guy rule?" Airesth whispered to Kaze, only to receive a silencing nudge in the ribs.

"Let's go to the dumpling store!" The short blond cheered, followed by an agreeing squeal from Risu.

Momiji took off at a run grabbing both Risu's and Kaze's hands to pull them along. Airesth, Haru, and I were left in awkward silence. That is, until my braniac of a friend sighed in aggravation.

"Kaze's not strong enough to intervene if that girl decides to molest the poor boy. I better catch up." She then kicked off on her own delicate run.

'_I_.' She said '_I_.' Not '_we_,' but '_I_.'

Flabbergasted, I could only stare at Airesth's back as she left me behind.

"Molest? Really…"

Kami help me, he actually sounded interested. "She's kidding." I replied sternly, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

"Surely." He agreed dryly.

Silence fell once again, this time it had my nerves trembling. _Why does he just stand there? Hurry up and start following them, man!_

"You coming?" I questioned taking a step forward while inclining my head in his direction.

There was no reply, just a step forward that set us in motion to follow the others.

Airesth pushed Risu away from the young Souhma as soon as she was in distance to do so. Momiji and Kaze were too entranced by an aquarium of fishes to take notice. Landing against a rack of shirts, Risu glared death at the ever ignorant girl who then stood feigning interest behind Kaze and Momiji.

"They're crazy." Haru mumbled as the both of us arrived to catch the scene.

"Yup." I replied with a wry grin. _You should ask how that girl is. _My conscience spoke out. My teeth clamped down on the inside of my cheek. I couldn't just spring that up out of nowhere. He may not want to talk about it.

_Well you're not exactly talking about anything else!_

Curse you and your logic. If he doesn't want to talk, we won't talk.

_How do you know he doesn't want to talk?_

Because he hasn't started.

_He just did! You're the one who ended it!_

Shut up.

_Talk._

No.

_Do it._

No!

_Kitani…_

"How's that girl?" The words flew from my mouth; my eyes bulged when I realized he had actually been mentioning something else. His cool eyes regarded me silently, his expression unreadable.

_Talk. When he's _not_ talking. Baka._

My teeth grit as heat flooded my face.

"She's in the hospital. She's doing better now." Haru stated, his eyes reverted back to the others outside a pet shop.

"Ah. That's good to hear." I mumbled. My hands wringing the ends of my shirt kept me captivated.

The air grew tense around us. I suddenly wished to run away, or be one of my friends pressing their faces up against the window glass.

My attention snapped back to the male beside me when a sigh left his lips. My eyes moved towards him, though his gaze stayed glued ahead. His mouth remained sealed and his stance unmoving.

"What is it?" I questioned.

Shifting weight from one foot to the other, his frame swayed closer to mine. "We should talk."

_Ah, butterflies go away now before I destroy you._

"We are talking." I return as breezily as am able, turning my gaze to my friends once again.

Risu took hold of Momiji's hand and pulled him over to the dumpling store across the sidewalk from the pet shop. Kaze and Airesth held expressions of abandoned children before linking arms and skipping over to follow.

"Are we?" Haru challenged in a different tone. Turning to him, his serious stare and kept composure caught me off guard. My breath hitched in my throat and words decided to disappear from thoughts as he continued to captivate my eyes with his.

"Sure." My voice embarrassedly squeaked. Clearing my throat, my feet stepped back and air quickly returned to my lungs. "Yeah we are."

"She's safe. There's nothing you could have done anyway."

"Says you," I mumbled, crossing my arms and slowly moving towards the dumpling store.

"I wouldn't have let anyone but me or Hatori take care of her." He stated firmly, following my movement.

"Hatori?"

"Family doctor."

"Mm..."

The aroma from the small dumpling store wafted through the air luring many others to its doors. Haru stiffened and removed himself from the crowd, opting instead to stand by the display window where a group of younger water-mouthing children firmly placed themselves.

"You're hard to ignore." He spurs rather randomly as I slowly lean against the wall beside him.

At my silence, he continues, "I've had things to do and when I set to work…" He trailed off into silence and his expression dulled into one of musing.

"Yes?" I prompted, leaning forward.

Blinking, he turned to me. "You're very distracting."

My mouth fell open and my cheeks began to grow hot. "Oh." I managed to say before throwing myself back against the wall and staring out into space.

His continued stare in my direction held me under the impression he was waiting for some reply. Was I supposed to say 'thank you' or 'sorry?'

"Were the things you had to do…important?" I ventured, taking a new route in the conversation.

"Yes." He replied simply.

My teeth grit together in aggravation. He was leaving the talking up to me now.

"Were you able to finish them?"

"More or less."

Risu stormed out of the store at that moment and stopped just before us. "Kitani, do you have any money? I've spent all of mine."

Shaking my head, I replied in the negative. Stomping her foot down in a childish manner, she took off back inside the store. That's my Risu, the ice breaker and mood killer.

Our "conversation" ended there.

- -

School the next day was uneventful, except for lunch when Airesth "accidentally" spilled her jell-o over Risu's head. Ironic that Haru had said _I_ was hard to ignore.

Every moment I glanced up from the small world that was my life, I caught sight of his unique hair and immediately lost my calm composure. Why I was so nervous, I had no clue. Just the sight of him had the blood in my veins speeding; to catch his eye made my heartbeat skip. This new feeling frustrated me, especially since I barely knew the guy. Man, what if I was sinking down to the level of the fangirls who swooned every moment the object of their desires walked into the room? My stomach turned at the prospect.

After classes, Miharu ran up to me and breathlessly informed that since she had practice after school, I was to go pick up Telane by myself. After delivering her message, she took off at another sprint to join a group of girls down the hall.

The breeze was warm as the setting sun shined its afternoon rays. I walked with hopes that the strange man wouldn't be there. It'd been weeks since I'd last seen him; his presence was most definitely not missed. My pace quickened. The thought of him being near my younger cousin was enough to get my legs running.

My gut warned me not to trust his intentions. After many falters in my life previously (on account of not trusting my instincts), I was willing to act on it.

"Hi, Kitani," My younger relation greeted me glumly. Her round face was sullen, her lips pouted, and her eyes glistened darkly.

Catching my breath and adjusting the schoolbag over my shoulder, I knelt down to her level so as to be face to face. "What's wrong?"

A shrug was my answer before she turned and began the walk home. Quickly pushing up from the ground, I chased after her.

"How was your day?" I tried again once right behind her.

"Fine." She sighed with her head bowed.

"Children are so funny." A voice commented from behind.

Placing a hand on Telane's shoulder, I whirled around to view the Akito man leaning against a parked black car that I could have sworn hadn't been there a moment before.

Dark cold eyes bore through me as a cynical smile slid across his face. "They're bubbly cheerfulness is usually so contagious to the point where you believe nothing can bring them down. However, one word, one sentence has the power to burst that child's bubble and spread gloom through the world. Isn't that funny?"

As he spoke, the man had pushed himself away from the car to stand only a few feet away.

Telane stood still beside me, yet I kept my hand on her arm just in case.

"Not really." I replied, holding his gaze. Then it occurred to me; had he said something to Telane? "Did-"

"It makes me sick!" He spat, startling both Telane and I. "These children are so fragile, so corruptible, and most people don't realize it." He took three strides forward, one more and I would have resorted to pushing him back. "You don't even know do you?" He hissed, his eyes now dark slits. "The pain. The _loneliness_. _You stay away from Haru! _You so much as look at him, breathe in his scent…if your hand ever brushes his body again, I swear I'll kill you!"

A shuddering breath was taken in as Akito attempted to regain his composure. His eyes no longer held anger, hate yes, but his fire was replaced with pure exhaustion.

"Go home, you stupid girl." He sighed dismissively.

Telane pulled roughly on my uniform in signal to leave as he said. Grasping onto Telane's hand tightly, I span on my heel and fled before I could do something foolish. I had wanted to retaliate, to yell back at this man who dared to give me orders. This man who never introduced himself properly, who had the nerve to harass strangers and their family; who the hell was he to…

Anger deflated if only for a moment as confusion seeped its way through my emotions. _'Stay away from Haru…'_

"Kitani…"

I glanced down to my side only to meet a pair of frightened watery eyes. My heart ached. My feet halted in their movement. We were well away from that crazed man anyhow.

"Is that man going to hurt you?" Telane questioned her voice cracking towards the end.

Falling to my knees, I took the little girl into my arms and held her close. "No sweetie, no. No one's going to hurt me. I'm invincible, remember?"

A broken laugh escaped her tiny lips as she held onto me tightly. Children were fragile. Yeah. What the hell did _he _know?

- -

A/N: Hope everyone likes the chapter enough to leave a review! Heheh. The update on this story has been half a year already, man, I honestly didn't think I'd let it go for so long. Freakin life, gets in the way of things. I kid, I kid.

Thank you weaseldale for leaving me a review! You brought my inspiration back to life (Lord knows school wasn't doing it), so I would like to dedicate this chapter to you if you don't mind. Sorry for not getting it out in November like I had originally promised (maybe I shouldn't make promises when it comes to writing).

And I pulled a scene from the Fruits Basket Manga, the scene with Rin on the sidewalk, just thought I'd put that out there. Disclaimer at the end, is that acceptable???

Fruits Basket does not belong to me, the only thing that does belong to me is my original character, because even her own little world of family and friends, I borrow from everyone around me.

Take care! Until next time!

-GryffindorHyuuga


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

_'When I look into your eyes there's nothing there to see, nothing but my own mistakes staring back at me.' -Linkin Park_

"Kitani," My aunt greeted solemnly as Telane and I entered the house. Telane briefly hugged her mother before heading upstairs to her room. "Is everything okay…" She questioned, referring to her daughter's silence.

"Um, I don't really think so. Maybe later you can talk with her?" She led me down the hallway towards the living room as we spoke.

"Okay, I'll go do that, but first I need to tell you something." Our movement halted as she turned worried eyes on me. "Kitani, your brother is back. He returned just this afternoon. He said he tried calling you but that your phone was off."

"…Yeah. There was a test today so I…switched it off…" The wheel in my head wouldn't move as it was. Hearing of my brother's return raised no response to my lips.

"He's in the living room, so if you want to see him…" Her hands gestured unsurely down the hall, urging me to take a step forward.

"Sure…" Numbly my feet moved one in front of the other. As I prepared myself for seeing my brother again, my Aunt called me back one more time.

"Kitani," She wrung her hands to a pale white. "I wasn't sure if you would want me to tell him or if maybe you'd want to do it yourself…"

"Tell him what?"

Tears clouded her honey brown eyes, though none fell.

"He doesn't know about the accident."

More weight fell on the immovable wheel in my head; I couldn't even register the tears that had formed in my own eyes. Mutely, I turned down the hall and entered the cool living room where a young man with fair hair, bright blue eyes and a nervous air sat and waited.

—Five Days Later—

"_So where is he?"_

"He's locked himself up in the guest room. My aunt's been taking him meals in the mornings and evenings."

"_Shouldn't you be doing something?"_

"Like what?"

"_Comforting him?"_

My pacing stopped and my gaze wondered over to the bedroom door that kept me shut in Miharu's room.

"He doesn't want to be comforted." I replied quietly.

"_Are you sure about that? Maybe you should try talking to him."_

Annoyance knotted through my gut. I didn't want to talk to him yet; hadn't she thought about that? His first reaction to the news of Mom was to lock himself away without a word to anyone. I admit that I had expected no less; to intrude wouldn't be right anyhow.

"_Kitani?"_

"I have to go. I'll talk to you later, Risu." I breathed quickly before shutting off the phone and tossing it onto the covers of my bed.

Letting out a breath of air, I resumed my pacing. I had forgotten Risu used to have a crush on him our preteen years; her first concern, of course, would be his well being. What did that leave me? The cold sister who felt a grudge against her brother even at his weakest point? Was it twisted to shun the very notion of comforting a sibling who left a family in broken trust?

Dropping down onto the edge of the bed, my body slumped into itself. Why did it seem like things were caving in, restricting the light I had somehow illusioned being within reach, from view?

Miharu walked in just then, a towel wrapped around her head and her skin flushed from a warm bath.

"Hey," She greeted as her foot tapped the door closed.

"Hi," I returned, pulling my feet up to the bed. "Is he still…?"

Stuffing a pair of socks into her dresser drawer, Miharu glanced up for a moment then silently nodded. Her reaction to the sudden arrival remained a mystery; not a word had been uttered from her lips on the subject. Dropping my forehead to rest on my knee I felt a pang throb through my temple.

"Whatever," I grumbled unfolding myself and stepping up to exit the room.

The plan had been to go down to the kitchen and eat my feeling's worth in sugar and ramen. It changed when the door at the end of the hall creaked open. My feet froze and my breath stopped as the dark figure appeared in the doorway. Red sunken eyes tore through air unseeing of me or anything else in their path.

Takeshi. My brother. A standing zombie. Food wouldn't attract him, neither would talk.

My head tilted down the staircase before I silently turned and ascended. The door clicked shut and it wasn't until his foot hit the carpet cover that I knew he was following.

We entered the kitchen and I motioned for him to sit at the wood carved counter. The old barstool creaks as I pull out a glass from the cabinet and fill it with water.

"Can you keep anything down?" I question, turning to face his forlorn aura.

He nods slightly; it's enough for me to slide the glass over to him. We're silent for a good ten minutes; he'd only sipped the water maybe twice.

I couldn't look him in the eye; there was fear it would spring up a flood of pain I'd managed to cap down. Panic and guilt began to peck at me, unsettling me and shaking my nerves.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice croaked. His throat must have felt raw.

"You weren't here." I mumbled.

"So for months she's been gone? You had her funeral and you didn't feel the need to call?"

"There were calls."

"Obviously not, if I didn't know."

"That's your fault for moving around so damn much."

His fist slammed the countertop. "You could have found me!"

"I shouldn't have to _find_ you. I shouldn't have to go _crazy_ looking for you! You should be somewhere in touch; you should be somewhere where there are phones and actual secretaries who will patch people through; why do you think Mom wanted you to stay so bad?!"

"My leaving isn't the point here."

"Of course it isn't. I didn't make the call because I couldn't." _Because then I'd have to say it._

"You were too scared?" His voice was incredulous, as if the notion was so shocking. "I…I missed…everything. I could have come, I could have…" He dropped his face into his hands and let out a long breath. "There's no way…" His head lifted and piercing blue eyes glared straight through me. "I need to see her."

My chest tightened to the point that I couldn't respond. To see her meant going to the place I'd only been once. Having him there would only rub the salty truth in the exposed wound. Nevertheless, we left. Across town to a graveyard I very much wished to avoid.

Mom; you'd be pained to know I never visited; the fact that I've realized this a hundred times over and still don't do a thing about it makes me that much more a monster.

He stood before the grave; I waited a few paces back. I didn't want to see the name carved in that marble.

To see the devastating pain wallow in another creates enough helplessness to drive a person mad. To describe his actions that followed his shock that moment wouldn't be fair.

* * *

"They say it was fast enough that she didn't feel anything. Quick, you know?"

We sat along the stone wall that enclosed the cemetery grounds. He'd composed himself enough to ask questions and calmly listen to my half-hearted answers.

"Why didn't you call me?" He voiced softly as a warm breeze flew past.

There was a breath that needed to be released before I could answer; my heart was on the verge of breaking again.

"You were happy. A good paying job that provided you with everything and that "hot girlfriend" who's been on the American tabloids lately…there's no good excuse. I didn't call because you acknowledging her death would make it all the more real. It's selfish…"

Silence reigned once again before Takeshi spoke.

"Is it real to you now?" His dry tone made me cringe. My teeth bit into my lower lip and my vision suddenly blurred.

"At least Mom doesn't have to worry about the bills anymore."

Startled, I whipped my head up in his direction. Nothing but a pained expression met my gaze as he attempted a helpful smile. Our need to make fun must be something we get from Mom.

After that, we both laughed through tears and cried through laughter. Whatever form of emotional freak I am; it's comforting to know I'm not the only one of my kind.

The sun finally set and we dragged our exhausted forms home.

* * *

"So he has a girlfriend?" One of the girls in class whined.

Apparently word travels fast at school. Did you know that? I didn't. Should have figured. Supposedly my brother got this beautiful gene of Mom's that completely skipped me and has girls flocking to him like Pooh bears to honey. Had to let so many down gently.

"Yup, so get over it." Risu grumbled; crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. Way to hide the disappointment, Risu; I applaud you.

"Misa, you've got to keep your eyes on the prize here." Another girl piped up, wrapping an arm around her friend. "Prince Yuki doesn't have a girlfriend and never will!"

Misa gasped. "You're right! How could I have forgotten about his majesty?! Oh Prince Yuki, forgive me!"

"And you wonder why you've never talked to other female classmates." Haku nudged Risu before going back to a book he'd been reading. Risu continued to twitch at the girl's outburst but soon came to her senses when a thought shined in her eye.

"So how long is your brother in town for?"

"Don't know. A week, maybe two…"

"Next thing you know, graduation will come and he's still here." Haku smirked, turning a page.

I caught Risu's eyes turn hopeful and swallowed a groan. If he stayed that long, Segi would find himself living the single life while Risu and Takeshi rode off into the sunset. It seemed pretty disturbing if you asked me.

"When he gets his own place are you going to move in with him?" Haku questioned curiously, placing his book aside.

"You should!" Risu gasped. "That would be so cool! Think of all the time you'd get to yourself, finally, when he spends most of his time at 'work'."

And how many nights was he expected to work late; how many weekends would he spend out of town; and just how many out of town trips would there be? Sounded lonely, not exciting.

"I guess she'd stay with Miharu." Haku answered his own question after studying my facial reaction.

Risu sighed; Haku glaned between the two of us before picking up his novel; and that was the end of our conversation.

The classroom door slid open and gasps from nearly every girl in the room erupted. My friends and I glanced to the doorway to see what the big shock was. Risu nearly feel from her perch on my desk.

Standing in the doorway, wearing a boys' uniform and smiling warmly at everyone was Momiji Souhma. Only, he underwent a growth spurt or something: it was damn obvious he wasn't an elementary kid.

Resting my chin in my upturned palm I watched, as everyone else did, as Momiji found his seat and started up chatter with the girls around him.

"Not fair!" My arm slipped from under my chin as Risu swiftly turned back to face us. My notebook and papers scattered across the floor. "Sorry. But seriously: you have an attractive guy in your class nearly every year!"

Leaning down over my chair, I began to gather up the fallen papers as Risu suddenly ceased in her complaints. Mutely, Haku handed me the notebook then motioned for me to look up.

Haru had walked in after Momiji and stood amongst a group of other students. Before I could get caught up watching him, I quietly turned back to Haku for an answer.

"I thought you might want to talk to him." His eyes shined truthfully yet his voice rang low.

"Why would she want to do that?" Risu snapped, stealing the words from my lips.

Haku shrugged in return, adjusting himself so he faced the front of the room. "Nevermind."

Holding the papers close, I dropped my chin to rest on the notebook. Now was a good time to decide whether or not to take Akito's threat seriously. Obviously, simply talking to a person shouldn't be worth the risk of threats. But then again…

"I have to go. The bell's going to ring soon and I have to break up with Segi." Risu stood.

Haku and I both shot up from our thoughts.

"What?!"

She didn't go into details, just simply marched out the classroom door. My mind felt as if it grew to a painfully large size.

"I'm on overload, Haku; did she just say that?"

The ringing bell was my answer before the teacher strolled in and the day began. Wherever Segi was, I dreaded the fact that the single life wouldn't be waiting long to claim him. It hadn't occurred to me at all that Risu tried to lift my attention from my own problems and open my eyes to the occurrences around me; all I could register was uneasiness, confusion, and guilt. The wheels in my head, it seemed, would be out of order for awhile.

* * *

A pair in the group breaking up meant awkwardness for all. Lunch was significant proof of it. We girls had felt restrained from discussing what had happened and questioning why. The guys had disappeared from their usual perch, probably off somewhere talking with Segi, finding out the answers we couldn't. Risu continued on as if nothing had happened, and it felt as if a puzzle were missing from our picture.

Guilt and suspicion nagged at me continually. What was Risu's purpose? It couldn't possibly have been for my brother, could it? Anger flowed through me at the mere thought of it.

Changes were happening all around. Nothing was staying the same. Before, I could have handled it. I probably wouldn't have freaked out the way I did at the news of a breakup; I probably wouldn't have freaked out the way I did at the arrival of my brother; and, I probably could have kept my cool when I discovered that Haru was some form of forbidden fruit. Before; I must have been some sort of accepting saint. On that afternoon I felt like a despicable troll.

After school I was left with the clean up duty. A group of classmates decided to stay as another student helped me to clean.

"That's crazy!" One of the boys declared as two girls erupted in laughter.

* * *

Everything was put away in their proper places. As I slid the door to a close, my mind went to the next destination on my list. Miharu had opted to stay after school with Kaze and Kovu. Ever since Takeshi came back, she'd wanted to be out of the house as much as possible.

Kaze had informed me that they'd be in the music room after school, so to the music room I went.

I round the corner to the hall hwere the music room resides only to halt midstep. Momiji, tall, grown, still a sight to see, stood just outside the door to the music room. His eyes were closed and a small smile splayed across his lips. He must've been able to hear a tune from inside that I couldn't from down the hall.

For a moment I wondered which caught Momiji up so: Kaze's melodic voice, or Kovu's talent on the guitar. Maybe it was both. Either way, I slowly inched back along the wall so that I could wait around the corner without disturbing anyone.

Once the end of the wall was reached, I turned to walk smack dab into an awaiting palm.

"Hi." Yuki's voice registered in my head though my eyes were busy seeing black and yellow fuzzy spots.

"Hi." I returned in disorientation.

The palm left my view and I hurriedly rubbed my eyes.

"Sorry about that." He apologized sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it, its fine. Though, for future reference: aim higher."

"Right. Um, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like very much to talk with you."

Startled, I stared up at him with wide eyes. "W-with me? What about?" I quickly scanned the halls to see if anyone else could be receiving his attention, but there was no one.

"About how you know Akito."

Name and face clicked together in my mind's eye along with memory.

"This isn't going to be pleasant is it?" I questioned doubtfully.

* * *

A/N: I just want to say a quick thank you to all who have been reading this story. The last chapter recieved _five_ reviews! weaseldale, I'm-So-Loveable, Hiei's-Dark-Little-Phoenix , Uzura-chan, bookleaf, special thanks goes to you!


	14. Chapter 13

A/N: First of all, special thanks goes out to automailmechanic who reviewed every single chapter and who has an excitement that seems to be contagious even over the computer! Jinx-neko, MizukiKohaku, and kuraikami I can't thank you guys enough! Your excitement has pushed me through, it made me want to think more, write more, get things done faster so everyone can read - or in some cases, it seems, devour.

To all, I'm sorry for the long wait. I've debated back and forth whether I should cut it off where I did and decided to just do it. Here it is, hope you like!

* * *

~Chapter 13~

_'Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you. Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new.' - Cyndi Lauper_

He led me out toward the steps that opened to the soccer field. Whistles blew faintly from a distance and some yells soon followed. I noticed them only because Yuki hesitated in speaking and I was at a loss as to how to start.

"Do you know anything about him?" He turned from the field to face me, his eyes probing.

Shrugging, I replied: "No. Just his name."

A troubled expression crossed his face as his eyes retracted from mine in thought.

"How do you know him?" He questioned after a silent moment.

This was a question I was unsure of answering truthfully. My thumb lifted and pushed my bottom lip between my jaws so that I could nibble both.

"You've already hinted its an unpleasant aquaintence." He supplied patiently.

A smirk tugged at my mouth. I sure had, hadn't I?

"He's been..." What was the right term to use? Keeping her company made him sound harmless, hanging out didn't make sense for a man his age, and stalking wasn't a word that bode well with me. "Every time I..." that way would sound as if I were complaining.

Damn it! Isn't there ever a moment where I _don't_ over analyze my words?!

"He waits with my cousin after school."

At Yuki's questionable gaze, I jumped to continue. "Not Miharu-her younger sister; she's in elementary; the one a few blocks down..."

Then it occurred to me that not everyone knew of the relationship between Miharu and I. Heck, he probably didn't even know who Miharu was. Sighing in deflation, I lamely finished with: "He makes small talk whenever I go by to pick her up."

And just so happened to threaten my life if I don't keep away from Haru. First, I needed to know who Akito was to Yuki before going and telling him _that_.

Glancing up at the prince, I was able to catch the confusion in his eye. "Why?" I directed to him so he'd look at me. "Who is he to you?"

A wry smile crossed his lips as he ran a hand back through his hair. "He's a relative; the head of the Souhma family."

"You guys have heads?" I blurted, stunned for a moment by the ancient tradition. Of course, I didn't mean it to come out so stupid.

Yuki sported a comical expression and my face grew warm. "I didn't mean for that..." I mumbled in embarrassment, dropping my head into my hand.

"I understand." He returned lightly.

In the few moments when I couldn't meet Yuki's gaze; my mind was able to piece a link together.

"If...he's a relative of yours..." I lifted my gaze. "Doesn't that mean he's related to Hatsuharu?"

Taking in a deep breath, he regarded me warily. "I suppose it would."

He was wondering why that interested me; I was grasping for answers myself.

Akito was related to Haru; that was the connection that had been missing the other day; that was how they knew each other. But, why would Akito blow up the way he did-why claim Haru _belonged_ to him?

"Why is he threatened?" I murmured before biting biting my bottom lip.

"Threatened?"

Pulling out from my thoughts, I released a breath and rubbed my hands on the skirt of my uniform.

"You think he's threatened by you?"

Having someone say it out loud didn't sound natural; nor could it be true in any aspect. My eyes lifted to the prince warily. "Do you know something that makes all this sane?"

A humorless chuckle left his lips before he lifted his head to stare up at the sky. "Believe me, none of this is sane."

I blinked at his response, unsure of what his underlying meaning was.

"Our family is closely bonded. My guess would be that Akito is worried you'll come between that bond." When he dropped his gaze to view my reaction, I pulled away and focused on the grassy field.

"Well...that doesn't say much for Akito...I mean, if you guys are so close, he shouldn't be so worried. My acquaintance with Haru is hardly something to feel threatened over." Tensing myself, I added in a mumble: "It's definitely not worth threatening over..."

Thick silence suddenly shrouded the area and even though I'd braced myself, I still found I was nervous of his reaction.

"Did he...threaten you?"

My arms shook as I rocked back and forth on my heels. The words wouldn't form, either that or I didn't want them to. Instead, I silently lifted my eyes to meet his.

He understood as soon as we locked gazes. I knew he knew; the sympathy was just too evident. What I didn't expect was to read him so well, for behind the sympathy, I saw similar questions run through his mind; the main theme being: 'Why would he do that?'

"Why are you asking?" I held his gaze; determined to get an answer.

Like a Shoji in a traditional home; his thoughts closed off, dimming his eyes.

"I noticed Akito's tension last I saw him. While talking, your name was mentioned, though when I asked how you came into the picture...he wouldn't say. I hadn't been aware the two of you met; you could say I was curious."

"How did he mention me?" It was a simple question; yet his face fell to a frown.

"Yun-Yunnn!"

The voice was audible the second the double doors burst open. Both our attentions turned to the source in surprise. A blur was soon at Yuki's side, an arm slung around his shoulder and a chin resting by his arm.

* * *

With my elbows on my knees and my chin in my palm, I waited outside the school doors for Miharu. Yuki had been dragged away by the Vice President Kakeru; and though he hadn't said anymore on the subject, the glance we shared before leaving informed me we'd be talking about it again soon.

What I kept going back to was the fact that the creepy man who made it a point to threaten me, was related to Hatsuharu...my friend?

Probably.

He had seen some things I'd kept from my childhood friends. Like, the encounter with my father. If I told them, nothing good would come from it: either they'd blow up and threaten to curse the man out, or worse; not bat an eyelash. The spot light can't always shine on me; they're the stars in their own lives, they'd need attention too.

The point is, Haru hadn't spread the word throughout the school and he never brought it up. Whether that was because he didn't care, forgot, or was being considerate, I couldn't tell.

The door behind me swung open letting a cool breeze of air con wash over me. Glancing over my shoulder, I caught Miharu's inquisitve eye before she shrugged and joined me on the step.

"What are you still doing here?" She questioned conversationally.

"Waiting for you." I replied simply.

Miharu visibly tensed before turning on me, her eyes wide, almost wild. "What about Telane?!"

"Takeshi picked her up, don't worry." I patted her knee softly before returning it to my chin and staring out at the yard again.

"Are you sure?" Miharu questioned, suspicion laced her tone, though she wasn't as concerned as before. "He could have bad timing and memory like you."

I scoffed at the insult but took no offense. "You kidding? He's actually better at those things. He'll be there early and tell me _I'm_ late."

Miharu leaned back on her arms and sighed. "Fine. So do we go home now?"

"We can." Neither of us moved. "How was it with Kaze and Kovu?"

"It was okay. Kovu taught me a few notes on the guitar, so that was...pretty cool." Her words trailed off just as her eyes glazed over and her cheeks blushed softly.

Tilting my head in her direction, I studied her expression sternly. "So...Kovu taught you some guitar."

Her eyes slid back to me and the pink tint in her cheeks slowly drained. "Yeah, that's what I said. Why?"

"Nothing. You ready to go?" I pushed myself to my feet quickly and stretched.

Miharu kept her eyes on me while chewing the inside of her cheek. "I guess." Pushing herself up, she brushed her uniform clean of dust then began to walk. "Let's go."

Our shadows painted the sidewalk before us as we made our way through the busy streets of town. The want to vent about anything and everything that had been running through my mind lately was growing to the point where I had to clench my mouth shut in order not to say anything. I didn't have any answers and there was no point in confusing another person, let alone my cousin whom I'd see everyday. The moment I could make sense of _something_, I'd fill her in.

"That boy, Momiji, he's in your class, right?"

"'That boy'? Yes he's in my class, that makes him your senior you know." I smirked at her sideways.

"Its not like it was noticeable before." She breezily brushed off. Before I could respond, she continued. "Did you know he can play the violin?"

She was trying to get to a point, I could sense it. "No, I didn't know."

"Yeah. He plays...nice." Her dream face was back on along with a small smile. Ah. Her look from before made sense now.

"Did you talk to him?" I questioned, keeping my attention on the path before us so she wouldn't see the small smile on my face.

"No. He was talking with Kaze most of the time."

"Hm." Maybe I was just imagining the disappointment. She did have a way with brushing things off that meant something to her. Maybe she was doing that with this too? "Next time you should try talking to him." I say in an automatic manner.

I wasn't sure if that's what she wanted to hear, but it felt okay to say. It seemed the rest of the walk, she mulled the idea over.

* * *

Takeshi had left after dropping Telane off, saying he was going to spend time with his girlfriend who had flown into town after a brief phone call with him. That evening, my uncle had a night off of work and decided to take Miharu's mother out for a night on the town.

Since that meant the television in the living room would be free, Miharu, Telane, and I lounged on the couches that evening to catch a few shows. Miharu curled on one end of the couch with the remote in one hand and her head in the other. Her tired eyes connected to the colorful screen as Telane brought over a bowl of popcorn. After tucking her legs under the coffee table, Telane rested her bony elbows on the waxed wood surface and mimicked her sister's attention to the television screen.

I wondered how Telane had been doing. Getting in a private word with her was difficult. Time wasn't the issue; it had been my own cowardice to hear her thoughts on something I could only wish to ignore. Her mother hadn't said anything so I could only guess Telane hadn't spoken about it to anyone. I wondered if maybe she wished to ignore it too.

Leaning back into the plush cushions of the couch, I tried to relax and watch the programs. The house phone went off in the middle of Telane's favorite show, eliciting a whine from the tired girl.

Dropping the remote, Miharu fished the phone out from under her legs.

"Hello," She greeted the caller.

I eyed Miharu, curious as to who the caller was, before picking up some popcorn and placing some in my mouth.

"All right," Miharu sighed, then held the phone out in the air between us. "It's for you."

Shoving the rest of the popcorn in my mouth, I took the phone and held it to my ear. "Hello?"

"_Tell me you're free right now!" _Risu's excited voice demanded.

"Free for when?"

"_Right now!"_

I rolled my eyes upward. "For _what_?" I stressed.

I hadn't exactly been at peace; I wasn't entirely sure what I had been at; but an annoyance was growing for Risu having disturbed it.

"_We're all going out tonight, and I want _you_-no, scratch that-I need you to be there. No, still not right: you're _GOING _to be there!"_

"Where?"

Now she just wasn't making any sense.

"_Okay, promise me you won't tell anyone."_

I crawled off the couch and signaled to Miharu that I'd be back in her room. She nodded through a yawn before collapsing and sprawling on the couch.

"_Hello?"_

"I promise."

"_Okay. I heard Kyo likes rice balls, so I'm inviting everyone out to have rice balls in the park! You going will ensure Haru to go and if Haru goes, Kyo is almost certain to go!"_

Kyo Souhma?

"I thought girls gave _homemade_ treats to the guys they liked."

A groan on the other end of the receiver confirmed my guess.

"_Is that bad?"_

The fact that she still questioned me on the propriorities of liking someone and dating, showed how desperate she was for an opinion. She knew just as well as anyone that I was no expert.

"I don't know. Does Segi know?"

"_To be honest, I don't care about Segi. What do you think?"_

"I don't know." I repeated.

The receiver crackled as she sighed. _"You're going to come, right?"_

Closing the door behind me, another wave of drowsiness hit. "I don't think so, Risu. I'm pretty spent tonight."

"_But you have to come!"_

I wished she wouldn't whine. The last thing I needed was a whiner to turn away.

"_It'll be a chain reaction-if you don't go-Kyo won't!" _

Dropping onto the bed, I lay back and argued Risu's logic. "He doesn't know me, I don't know him-my backing out does not determine Kyo's attendance."

"_No, but it will help."_

"Go with everyone else, Risu. You'll be fine." I shouldn't have laid down, my eye lids grew heavy and I couldn't lift my hand to rub them. Bad idea, Kitani.

"_You won't reconsider? Not even for me?"_

I stared into darkness and replied with a 'no' that came out as a guttural groan.

"_Fine. I'll call Kaze and see if she'll go."_

Another guttural reply.

"_All right. Bye!"_

My thumb pressed the end button and my palm dropped away from my ear to the bed sheets. My mind floated, carrying me through the waves and window-mirrors that were my short term memories.

Takeshi and Miharu covered a good number of the mirrors I passed. Their somber faces were a far cry from the smiling children I remember growing up with. I'd only once ever seen Miharu cry, maybe twice. And yet I fully saw her, turning to me: her face red, tears streaming, lip trembling, then my vision zoomed in and her dark eyes focused on me somberly.

So beautiful, sorrowful, and yet accepting. Before I could reach for her, a cold sweat took hold, followed by a harsh wind that shocked me to the core.

I refocused; instead of brown eyes, I met a piercing blue. Tears welled just the same, but the cheeks were paler, the eyes colder-distant. Not Takeshi's, someone else's.

The phone rang again and my entire body jerked awake with the sudden sensation of falling. My hand had the phone on and by my ear in a moment.

"Hello?"

Risu's pouting voice fazed through my spinning head. _"Kyo said no. Everyone else is pretty much giving up."_

I tried clearing my throat before replying, instead that led to a coughing fit.

"_Are you okay?"_

"I'm fine. So you're not going out then?"

"_No. Told you it wouldn't happen."_

"Maybe another time."

"_Yeah. I'll talk to you later, Kitani."_

"Bye, Risu." I dropped the phone again but pushed myself to sit up. Leaning my elbows on my knees and dropping my head between my shoulders, I became weary of dozing off.

Those eyes. I couldn't discern if they left me heart broken or haunted. The day had been full of questions that remained unanswered. Why not add one more? My shoulders trembled and my chest heaved once. Shutting my eyes, I quickly lifted my face so the ceiling light would shine red over my eyelids.

Heart broken or haunted; did it matter? The answer seeped in like a cold towel wrapping itself about my body. Yes it did. Hurt or scared, loved or feared; I needed to find the side to which I belonged. The see-saw of which I stood in center of would eventually fall one way. I dreaded I wouldn't like the side I landed on.

* * *

A/N: There you have it. No Haru in this one, which I myself regret, but its the way the story goes. And, I'm pulling up an idea brought up by a review from weaseldale. Guess what it is...you know...in a review of your own...-hint-hint-

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_"You fool. What did you hope to accomplish by coming here? Stay away from all the Souhma. He knows your family. Don't give him reason to get them involved."_

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I hope you enjoyed, please review!

-GryffindorHyuuga


	15. Chapter 14

A/N: I want to thank everyone who is still taking the time out of their days to read this story. Special thanks goes to kuraikami for reviewing! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story, and hope you enjoy this update just as much! I wish everyone a fun spring break! Do what you love, love what you do, and just chill-ax!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything from the Fruits Basket world, I barely have control over my own original characters. I blame Al Bundy for that. xp

* * *

**~ Chapter 14~**

'What if the right part of leaving turned out to be wrong?' -Moby

_The stars shone brightly that night. I stood with my eyes strained on the velvet sky, entranced by the sight I'd only seen once every other occasion. _

"_Are you ready?" A voice questioned from somewhere ahead. _

_A broad smile slid across my face, and while I realized I must've looked like a silly fool, I didn't care. I outstretched my arms, one to the sky and the other to the presence before me. "Do you see the moon? Just look at it!" I breathed._

_They moved to stand next to me, their gaze shifting to the sky as well. "I see it." They replied softly as their warm fingers covered my own, pulling me back down to earth. _

'_WAKE ME UP! BEFORE YOU GO, GO!'_

My Body jerked to the side, my elbow banging painfully against the wall. I yelped the same moment a string of curses erupted from the bunk above.

"What the hell is that?" I moaned, rolling away from the wall and pushing up into a sitting position.

The bunk above creaked violently right before I saw Miharu's feet descend down the ladder. The loud music clicked to a stop, freezing Miharu and turning both of our attentions to the door.

"Good morning. Get up-let's go!" My aunt ordered, swinging a radio into her arms and heading out the door; the sneaky smirk was not hard to catch.

As soon as the door shut, Miharu slid lazily down the rest of the ladder and I fell back into the mattress, a groan escaping both of our lips.

* * *

An hour later, Miharu was dressed in a sports jersey and running shorts. With food in her stomach, a clean mouth and face, Miharu had done a complete one-eighty, leaving me in the dust since I was still dressed in pajamas.

Sitting on the steps of the staircase, I watched as Miharu, Telane, and their mother rushed to gather some last minute things.

"Why don't you come?" Miharu questioned, slinging a duffel bag across her shoulders.

"It's too early." I replied with a yawn.

"You're already up anyway."

"I'll ignore that truth just until you leave."

"What for?"

A groan escaped my lips but it was drowned out by my aunt calling from the kitchen. "Do you have enough water bottles?"

"Yes!" Miharu rolled her eyes before widening them. "I forgot my tape!"

Quickly dropping her bag, she bounded over me and up the steps to her room.

"Get my book too!" Telane called after running to the banister.

An aggravated growl was her reply, though soon the sound of a second door banging open was heard. I watched silently as Telane's light brown eyes slowly dropped from the second floor hallway to me. Before she could turn and walk away from me, I reached out my hand and tapped her shoulder. Shyly, she turned back, her eyes glued to the floor.

"Telane…has Akito…?"

"Miharu, you're going to be late!" My aunt called loudly as she entered from the kitchen and opened the front door.

Bounding down the stairs, Miharu pat my shoulder then handed Telane her book as she passed. "There's your book. We'll see you later, Kitani!"

Miharu followed her mother out the door but before Telane left, she faced me and said: "He hasn't come…since that day…"

"Telane, let's go!" Miharu's voice called impatiently.

"I'm coming!" Telane yelled back in a tone to match her sister's, before running out the door.

A second later, Miharu's head poked through the closing door. "Don't get into trouble, okay?"

My jaw slacked and my eyebrows drew together. "Wha-?"

Hastily she pulled back and shut the door.

Dropping my head against the side railing, I waited for the grating of the gate that would signify their departure. At the annoying clang shut, I sat in an eerie silence that stemmed from the knowledge of not being the only one in the house.

Behind one of the bedroom doors, my uncle slept; somehow he'd developed immunity to the chaos the females in his family created in the morning. Takeshi should have been back from his girlfriend's, he was most likely sleeping like a log.

A smirk splayed across my lips for the one second the idea crossed my mind.

Soon after, I decided that I couldn't wear pajamas all day and lifted my arms to the railing to heft myself up to my feet. My limbs still felt drained, and while that did hinder my gracefulness up the stairs, I figured an hour from then I could pull a one-eighty like Miharu had.

After brushing my teeth and changing, I went back down the stairs in search of something to eat. Aggravated with myself for turning down my aunt's offer to make me something; I yanked the fridge door open to inspect my options. My stomach growled in protest as I soon let the door shut softly. We needed groceries.

After settling for a small bowl of cereal; I grabbed my wallet, picked up my hair, and left a note on a fridge magnet. I had a mission for the day and though it may seem pointless now, it made perfect sense in the moment.

I was sure seeing Akito; as much as it made my palms sweat; was the answer to every unanswered question. If not, then it was a start. No one would make a threat without a reason and if Akito wanted me to stay away from Haru, I needed to know why.

I'd thrown a rough plan together the night before. Akito was a Souhma-being related to both Haru and Yuki-he had to be; that led me to believe he'd be at the Souhma Estate. Smart, I know. I'd go there, ask to speak to him, and then…

I wasn't entirely certain how to start if they let me in. I hadn't really considered what I'd do if they turned me away either.

_Resolution, Kitani, come on! He threatened your life and made Telane cry, that should be incentive enough to start a fire storm with the guy!_

I had to admit, I had a point.

_Like hell on a leash_: I chided myself repeatedly in hopes of building up courage and spirit. But then I had to go and think. _What does hell on a leash mean anyway? _My thoughts flowed on a string that was mended as it was treaded upon.

It wasn't until I stood at those gates that my mind finally stopped and my resolution was shakily put back together.

The sidewalk before the estate seemed to always be deserted of people which added to the small feeling of standing before an empire. Last I stood there Momiji had been with me-saving me the decision of how to get the attention of someone inside. There was no intercom like most mansions; should I knock?

It was a stupid idea and yet my hand lifted anyway. My knuckles were about to graze the sturdy wooden gate when it was pulled away a small distance so that a weathered face could peer through and glare at me. I must have been standing there awhile wondering what to do if they were this annoyed with my presence.

"What do you want?" A raspy voice spoke from the old woman's chapped lips. She must've been a bitter old maid or something.

"I'm here to speak with…Momiji Souhma." My voice quavered traitorously. Leave it to me to shake under the disapproving gaze of an elder.

Her glare intensified if that was even possible. "He is no longer at this residence." She moved to slam the gate so I spoke quickly.

"Do you know where I can find him?"

Her agitated gaze was on me again. After a long silence in which her eyes practically dissected me, she pulled away and asked suspiciously: "What is your name?"

My hands fisted in my shirt. "Kitani Hiratai, ma'am." I gave a slight bow that she showed no interest in.

"One moment." The gate closed and five seconds later I was able to release a shaky breath.

Instinct had prompted me to ask for Momiji at the last second. Perhaps asking for Akito straight out would have been dangerous. Since they'd asked my name he would've been aware of my presence; and that scared me more than I expected. But, how could Momiji not be living at the estate? Didn't all Souhma live in the _Souhma_ Estate? It would make sense.

If they sent me to another address, what then? Talking to Momiji could clear some answers; however it could also raise more questions. All in all, I felt I was just delaying the inevitable. I would talk to Akito; whether it be today-tomorrow, or the next week; our encounter would take place again.

"You."

My head snapped up and my eyes widened as they took in the beautiful young woman before me. Dark tresses of hair framed her curved face where dark eyes stared and small lips frowned admonishingly at me. In a moment, I recognized her as the woman from the sidewalk Haru had carried away. She stood proudly and tall, a far cry from our first encounter.

"What do you want?" She questioned, fully stepping out from behind the gate.

My gaze dropped from hers, sensing that if I lied, she'd be able to tell. So, like a child admitting to the teacher it was them who pushed the new kid into the mud; I answered: "I need to speak with Akito."

She raised an eyebrow before letting the gate shut completely behind her. "You should leave."

My inaction to her words pushed her into action. Stepping forward, she shoved me back. "Get out of here! Leave _now_."

Pushing her hands from my shoulders, I stood firm. "Why can't I speak to him?"

"Because meeting Akito is meeting death."

Words failed me. I couldn't see a false to that statement-even if I had; my gut wouldn't have allowed me to say it.

Seeing the indecision in my expression, she continued: "You fool. What did you hope to accomplish by coming here?" My silence seemed to calm her anger; the next time she spoke she sounded more composed. "Stay away from all the Souhma."

I raised my eyes to hers unsurely.

"He knows your family. Don't give him reason to get them involved."

"Why would he-"

"Why would he threaten you?" She intercepted with a quirked brow. "For the same reason curiosity killed the cat. Your nose is sticking in a place it has never belonged."

Being tripped in a school playground would have been less humiliating than the verbal jab she threw.

"Not only are you wasting your time, but you're putting the happiness of others at risk. Don't ask questions; don't wonder why-just forget. Forget about Akito; forget about whatever scheme you were planning; forget about Hatsuharu."

A playground full of others standing around and laughing.

Murmurs were heard from the other side of the gate and at the same moment her dark eyes narrowed dangerously, I glanced at the wooden structure in uncertainty. Her slim arms extended and shoved my shoulders again, this time she managed to push me aside, my back colliding with the cemented wall.

Her glare silenced any protest I had been about to exclaim as she quickly backed a few steps just as the gate opened. Realizing that she had pushed me just out of sight from the gate opening, I held my breath in anticipation.

"Where is the girl?" That same raspy voice demanded impatiently.

I watched as the young woman held her fierce expression while replying: "She took off."

"Without the information she came for?" The elder questioned suspiciously.

"Would you have given it to her?" The woman returned in challenge.

"Mind your own business!" The elder snapped. My cheeks burned in humiliation and shame. She would have turned me away as well. "What are you doing here, anyway? Akito has made it clear he does not want you here."

The young woman's eyes shined maliciously. "He's made it more than clear." Glaring one last time at the maid, she turned her body in my direction and began to walk down the sidewalk. "Get out of here." She murmured as she passed, keeping her dark eyes directed straight ahead.

Silently I watched her and waited for the sound of the gate closing before breathing again. I glanced over my shoulder at the gate entrance and felt my resolution drop. I understood my chance at getting in through there had vanished.

Turning back to the direction the woman had left in, I wondered what I should do. Following her seemed to be a lost cause, not only would I have to catch up to her, but I knew that I wouldn't find the courage to talk. Her demeanor screamed lethal and unforgiving. Two characteristics that intimidated.

I slammed my back against the cement wall and banged my head so that a searing pain shot through my scalp and made me hiss in regret. Frustration coursed through my veins as I ground my teeth and clenched my eyes shut. My body refused to move from the position it was in. It was almost as if a magnet was pulling at me from the other side of the wall not permitting my departure, yet unwelcome of my presence.

I had to move, however. Someone could get curious, step out from behind the gate and find me. I couldn't leave empty handed! Not when I was so close to finding out what the hell was going on. Just then my cell phone vibrated from within my jeans pocket, nearly giving me a heart attack.

I pulled the device from my pocket with trembling, impatient fingers.

* * *

"Harsh words." Airesth muttered with her finger placed thoughtfully on her bottom lip.

After being turned away at the Souhma gate by the woman I still hadn't caught the name of; Airesth had been the one to call me out of boredom from her own morning. Her call was able to finally pull me from the wall and directed me instead to the apartment Airesth lived in with her family. Once I had arrived Mrs. Mujen had insisted we take some juice boxes and crackers to Airesth's room. Reluctantly, we both caved, took the snacks, then headed for the secluded room at the end of the hall.

I sat down on the carpeted floor while Airesth took to the wheeled chair by her desk. She patiently listened as I recounted the events of the morning. For a true opinion to be received, however, I had to tell her about the last encounter with Aktio as well.

"If it were me, I would've told that woman off and demanded the guy to get outside and talk to me!" The lens of her glasses flashed once before revealing her fierce misty gray eyes.

My shoulders slumped; I had no doubt she would've. "I couldn't do that. By the time I I had enough courage to say anything, everyone had already left!"

"You're whining-drink juice."

I glowered at her before slipping the small straw in my mouth and drinking from the box. After a moment, I slowly removed my lips from the plastic tube and murmured: "I didn't know what to do."

"Course you didn't, it was a surprise attack." She clipped knowingly, sitting back in her desk chair. "Besides, I thought I told you to tell me when you were going to pick up Telane so I could see this Akito guy."

"I forgot about that." I admitted sheepishly after cringing.

"Well anyway, what does Hatsuharu have to say about it?"

Chewing the straw, I mumbled; "Nothing. I haven't talked to him."

Sighing, Airesth replied; "Well, that's a problem."

"Yeah..." I honestly hadn't thought about bringing it up to him. I agreed with her none the less in hopes that she would have some kind of answer.

Sitting up and leaning forward in her chair, Airesth flipped her black hair over her shoulder and went into mission mode. "Okay; that chick was right on one thing-forget about Akito for now. You should handle this the same way as if a girlfriend had come up and threatened you."

When my mind drew a blank as to how she could mean, I asked: "How?"

"Let's say Hatsuharu asked Akito to push you away from him since he couldn't do it himself."

"Sounds like a low move."

"That's how some work." She admitted before rushing on to her plan. "Talk to Haru, apologize for bothering him and tell him the next time he wants a girl to leave him alone, just tell them-there's no need to beat around the bush."

"What if he has no idea what I'm talking about?"

Her face fell into a blank expression. "He'll ask: what the hell you're talking about." She replied bluntly.

'Then from there I'd be able to explain and hopefully get some answers.' I concluded, biting down on my straw again. Problem was, it sounded too problematic to carry out.

"It's starting to seem that just dropping this whole thing would be easier." I sighed.

"It's up to you if you want to do this." Airesth returned, leaning back in her chair and crossing her thin legs. As an afterthought, she added; "You know, if he doesn't ask what you're talking about, it'll mean he _did_ ask Akito to step in."

I raised my eyes to her, waiting for her to continue.

"If that's the case, he's a jerk and I should sick a pack of moo-cows on him."

I smirked. "The moo-cows sound serious."

Silence reigned as she let me mull the idea over and any other possibilities of action. Sucking the juice box dry and tossing it in the wastebasket by the door, I leaned back on my hands and stared at the wall.

"You'll talk to him on Monday?" She guessed, watching me closely.

"I'm talking to him on Monday." I affirmed.

* * *

Alarms went off Monday morning as I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. Miharu slid down the ladder and dashed for the bedroom door, turning on the lights as she did. I cringed from the bright light and lazily dragged a pillow over my head.

"You're still in bed?" My brother's voice questioned in a rather exaggerated manner from the doorway.

"I'm dressed." I returned, uninterested in holding a conversation.

The previous night I had experienced a small episode of insomnia that led to my eventual undressing of pajamas and dressing of school uniform. Anticipation for Monday morning had transformed my attitude into something dark and twisted (which could also be largely blamed on the lack of sleep). An advantage would be that in that state, I was less likely to take bull from anyone. Bluntness was something I needed if I were to get through anything.

The hallways held the usual bustling crowd. Freshmen ran through with airy laughs; sophomores stuck up their noses; juniors kept their gazes in books (when not on the opposite sex); while seniors did whatever the heck they wanted.

I slipped through the different bodies and pulled to the side of the crowd once by the doorway to my homeroom. My fingers drummed on the strap of my school bag as I tried to keep my attention on my surroundings. Airesth passed by and placed her hand on my arm in encouragment, before slipping inside the classroom.

Others passed indifferently, only some glanced curiously, none said good morning. My sour mood must have been visible. Finally, I saw the patch of white hair I'd been waiting for. My heart pulsed strongly at the first sight before going into a quick run. His air of indifference still swarmed about him as everyone unconsciously moved aside as he passed them by. He was close enough that all I had to do was call out to him to get his attention.

I opened my mouth only to have an unintelligible sound come out. I snapped my lips together, embarrassed at the sound, however it had still been enough to catch his attention. His eyes bore into mine as his steps slowed and he stopped just before me, his hands placed loosely in his pants pockets. For once, I found his open coat rather distracting and had to struggle to keep my eyes on his face, not on the flesh of his bare neck and upper chest.

He stood patiently, silently, waiting.

"..." My hands began to strangle the strap of my school bag as I searched desperately for words to speak. I needed to speak with him, needed to ask about Akito. I knew what I had to do, yet my voice was difficult to use. _'You know what to do!' _I mentally screamed. I took in a breath and opened my mouth, my tongue about to finally work when everything turned out to be a lost cause.

A chase between two sophomores erupted and there was pushing since apparently people weren't moving out of the way fast enough. A girl was knocked back into her boyfriend before falling to the ground. The boyfriend had stumbled back at the unexpected force and bumped backs with Haru, knocking him forward, towards me. I pressed far back into the wall and instinctively held up my right hand, bracing for an impact that never came.

Cries of annoyance resonated through the hall as I slowly opened my eyes and lifted my head. A jaw line filled my vision as I realized Haru had turned his head to watch the chase that had led to our current position. His arms were on either side of me, his hands placed firmly on the wall so as to keep us from colliding. My held up hand was pressed up against his warm chest but I couldn't really comprehend that detail since I was still trying to come to terms with _who_ was standing intimately close to me.

Finally he turned his ever blank expression to me, his chin level with my forehead. I raised my eyes to his dark orbs and we remained unmoving for only a moment. Silently he pulled away and took a step back. I dropped my hand and clenched it at my side. Swallowing, I turned and slipped inside the classroom, Haru soon followed after.

Any words I had been about to say were gone the moment Haru had been bumped. Mutely, I sat in my desk and remained until the bell rang and class began. The lights switched off as the teacher gave the lesson through an over head projector. Throughout the lesson, I glanced multiple times at my right palm; flexing it and clasping it. For a time I wondered if his skin had been heated; my palm continued to feel warmth and tingles.


	16. Chapter 15

a/n: Thank you so much to those who are keeping up with this story! Thank you **kuraikami **and **little-L.A.M.** for reviewing; reviews keep a writer going and I'm so glad you took time out to review this story. Hopefully no one will be upset with this chapter; there is a, hum, sexual reference...but this **is** a rated T fic. Just, a bit of forewarning. If you could please let me know what you think, that would be great!

**Disclaimer:** Fruits Basket does not belong to me, nor do the lyrics at the beginning of each chapter.

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~Chapter 15~

_'I wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees. Find a way to lie by a home I'll never see.' _–Five for Fighting

"Kitani, tell me you're listening!"

"I'm listening."

"I have elephant ears!"

"That's strange."

"Are you listening?"

"I'm listening."

"Kitani!" Risu sighed as she dropped down into the grass in front of me. Placing both hands on her bare knees, her dark brown eyes stared inquisitively at me. "What did I just tell you?"

Slapping my hands down on my own knees, I sat up straighter and returned her unwavering gaze. "You were complaining about having big ears."

"Elephant ears." She corrected with a roll of her eyes. "But that's not what I was talking about."

I'd spent the entire morning thinking about what to do since I chickened out of talking to Haru. It was plain to see my free time had been spent and now it was back to the real world. Friends never let you doze off for long, do they?

"Then no, I'm sorry. You're going to have to repeat that." I sighed while lifting my hand to rub my eye.

A groan erupted from Airesth as she slapped her hand against her forehead. "She's been complaining for the past half hour!" She cried out in agitation.

"It has not been a half hour!" Risu hissed before returning her smoldering eyes to me. "Just the past five minutes!" An accusation for not listening could not have been clearer.

"I'm sorry; I thought you were talking to Airesth and Kaze." I gestured to the girls beside me, eliciting another roll of the eyes from Risu. "Keep doing that, they'll get stuck." I warned, annoyed with her attitude.

Kaze leaned forward to look past Airesth towards me. "She was, but she was talking to all of us."

"Segi is going out with a sophomore." Risu stated in a deadpan tone.

My eyes widened slightly. "Oh."

Risu cocked a dark eyebrow and remained silent. I glanced at both Airesth and Kaze, though neither were much help. Airesth leaned back on her palms with her legs crossed before her, her gaze off in the distance somewhere. Kaze caught my eye for a moment before shrugging unsurely.

"Really?" I questioned, turning back to Risu, only to find her expression hard and nearly unreadable.

"_That's_ your reaction? Did you know about it already?!"

I jerked back at her sneering demand. My own expression hardened as I felt a sudden rush of hot blood course through my veins. "No, of course I didn't know." I replied evenly.

Airesth sighed. "How could she know; you just told us right now." My gaze dropped to the grass when Risu turned her attention to Airesth. "Why are your panties in a twist anyway? You're the one who broke up with him so suddenly out of the blue. So what if he found someone else?"

"But one week? Come on! Who knows if he wasn't tailing her the whole time?"

"You broke up with him and started tailing that jerk, Kimbrel the next day!"

My eyes widened and I snapped my head in Airesth's direction. "What?" My voice squeaked.

"Are you serious?" Kaze's voice demanded.

"W-what do you mean?" I turned my head to Risu. Her dark eyes moved back and forth between mine, her mouth moving like that of a breathless fish.

Kaze glanced at Airesth for a moment but soon the three of us had our attention on the same person. Risu blinked and swiftly moved her hand through her black hair. "I'm not 'tailing' him. I give you my honest word. I'm not interested in him like that."

"But…you _are _interested?"

The bell rang before any answer could be given and her silence fed fuel to the raging fire burning in my gut. "Risu, are you _kidding me_?!" My fingernails pierced the skin covering my bent knees as my hands clenched to keep from lashing out in any way.

"He's changed, okay?" Risu defended rather lamely if you asked me.

"No. It's _not_ okay." Airesth snarled, sounding just as irritated as I felt.

Kaze shook her head as she attempted to make sense of the recent news. "Risu, what are you doing?" She questioned just above a whisper.

"He needs me! You guys have no idea about the things he's gone through, the things he's _going_ through. I'm one of the only people he can talk to." Her voice was uneven, shooting into the high notes one moment and dropping to her normal panicked tone the next.

"He wants to talk to someone?! Tell him to go see the school councilor, that's what he's there for!" I snapped, ripping my hands from my knees and moving them to the grass blades beneath me.

"I'm sure you would have appreciated it if we told you to do _that_ after your mom died." Risu snapped back, her dark eyes glaring. My chest constricted as I had to gasp in my next breath of air. My hands gripped the earth to anchor me, all the while loosing their feeling of existence. "We're not dating. I'm just being his friend. I wanted to tell you that time I tried to get everyone together. I'd hoped you'd be in a fun enough mood to not be angry; and Haru would have been there, so…"

I blinked twice after realizing my vision had become blurred and practically spat the words: "_So_ _what_?"

Kaze, Airesth, and I kept up our hard stares while Risu stood rather boldly and from my point of view, stupidly. Students began to pass us, totally oblivious to our tense atmosphere.

"Risu, what that guy did to you…" I trailed off as she rolled her eyes and turned her head away. That last act caused Airesth to snap as she jumped to her feet and clenched her fists.

"That guy practically raped you, and you're going to be 'friends' with him?" She demanded point blank.

"He didn't rape me!" Risu snapped, whirling her head back to Airesth.

"No, but I do remember you crying after school last year because he convinced you to have sex with him then broke up with you the next day." My voice was dry, dead-panned. Accusing her would only put her on the defensive, reminding her of the facts on a neutral level could show her reason.

"How many times do I have to say this? He's changed. I thought you guys were my friends." Risu retorted, crossing her arms. "Obviously, I was wrong. Friends support each other."

"Friends also don't let friends do stupid things." Kaze spoke as her shoulders bristled with contained anger.

The silence that followed the warning bell for class left my head burning, my chest constricting, and my stomach turning. All I could comprehend was the need to be alone, to scream, to get away and just forget.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon was spent in tense anticipation. I didn't want to see Risu, Airesth, or Kaze. They could tip the last pin holding up my composure; depending on which way it fell, I could have beat down a couple of walls in anger, or simply fall and lose myself in tears of frustration. At the end of the day, my anticipation paid off, though it was in a most unexpected way.

After gathering my books into my bag, I hefted the strap across my shoulders and took a deep breath. Anger from lunch had drained all my energy, leaving me to be a walking zombie. I stood in a trance; my eyes trained on the many bodies exiting the school building in the courtyard outside the window.

Sun beams danced on the many heads and a cool breeze blew past, stealing the leaves from trees, papers from books, and laughter from lips. Crystal blue eyes fazed through my mind, followed by Akito's sick smile, then Risu's stinging stupidity. Suddenly, all I wished for was a shoulder, a smile I could only see in memories and photographs; an embrace that was never cold; and a voice that haunted me in my own words.

My composure was on its way to crumbling before a voice broke me from my reverie.

"Are you okay?"

Gasping slightly, I removed my eyes from the window and turned to the doorway of the classroom. Crystal blue orbs watched me in concern as a solemn face folded its mouth into a frown.

"M-momiji, hi," I stuttered, standing straighter and clearing my throat. "I'm…" a half smile pulled at my lips. "I'm all right. Did you need something?"

He watched me curiously before a warm smile slid easily across his lips. "Not particularly. Haru left with Yuki and the others and I was debating on whether or not to walk home alone."

I wanted to ask why they would leave him behind; after all, they were a group, were they not? Before I could comment in any way, the blond boy continued: "Would you like to take a walk?"

A relieved breath escaped me and I realized I'd been yearning for verbal interaction all afternoon. I needed something to get my mind off of lunch and of what the future held due to Risu's recent actions. "Sure. That would be nice."

He smiled warmly again as I joined his side and we left the room together. We travelled the halls of the school; every now and then coming across a group of people. After five minutes of silence between us, Momiji began to speak.

"I heard you paid a visit to the Souhma Estate."

My eyes widened as I glanced unsurely at him sideways. "Yeah," I affirmed softly.

"So I guess you know I don't live there anymore."

At my silence he turned his somber expression to me and I met his gaze. "Not many people know that." He admitted, coming to a halt at a window. A pale hand lifted and clutched the end of his tie almost as if he were nervous. "I also heard you were turned away quite brutally."

I tried to shrug off his light banter. "It was no red carpet treatment…" I mumbled, dropping my eyes to my shuffling feet. "If you don't mind me asking, why aren't you staying there anymore?"

Momiji's response sounded distant and I lifted my head to see him staring out the window. "I needed to be on my own for awhile. Living in a community inside a community could be suffocating sometimes. Anyone else's problems could quickly become your own. I needed a break."

_Someone else's problems becoming your own… _"I don't blame you." I grunted, dropping my gaze to the floor again.

"I was surprised you were looking for me though. If you were there for any reason, I would have assumed you'd be there for Hatsuharu."

I raised my head again, this time perplexed. That was the second time that day someone made a reference to Hatsuharu and I. Was there something going on that everyone knew but me? A flash of lunch that day came to mind and I admitted dryly that yes indeed: many things could be going on.

"Why were you there for me?" Momiji questioned curiously.

"Um," I switched weight from one foot to the other and ducked my head to the side to stare down the hallway. "To be honest, I wasn't sure who else to ask for. I had…originally gone to see Akito…"

"So that's what Rin meant…" Momiji smiled sadly and caught my eye again. "…by you having a death wish."

I remained silent; not dropping my eyes from his as I waited for him to say more.

With one hand still clutching the end of his tie, he raised his other hand to rest on the window. "I'm sure she acted awkward and dark, but really, on the inside, she's just as big a softie as any of us."

"What do you mean?" My head tilted slightly to the side as I regarded the blond boy.

"I believe that Rin just doesn't want to see anyone else hurt; that's why she's the way she is." His fingers moved in circular motions on the glass and for a while neither of us spoke.

The woman…Rin…what was Momiji implying? That she…tried to protect me? No, that sounded too cheesy to be true.

His fingers slowed to a stop before curling into his palm and dropping from the window. His gaze had dropped to the floor, but an internal struggle had clearly danced across his blue eyes. As a resolution settled over his expression, I couldn't help but feel his decision (whatever it was) turned out to be something he desired not to do.

"Things were supposed to be kept a secret…" His voice was suddenly so soft I slowed my breathing in order to hear him clearly.

"What things?" I prodded gently.

He turned his head to the window again and sighed.

"Momiji…"

"Do you find it odd that we've only met twice and yet we're here talking so seriously as if we've known each other for longer?"

I blinked at his sudden bold tone and found that I had no words to say. I hadn't considered that at all.

He laughed lightly at my confused expression before quickly apologizing afterwards. "Someone laughing at you isn't exactly what you need right now; but I just couldn't stand all the tension."

He stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. 'It was some growth spurt he went through, that's for sure.' I thought as he looked straight into my eyes, his blond hair falling gracefully across his forehead.

"I can show you the way, Kitani; but it's up to you if you really want to know what's going on."

My breath caught in my throat as my chest constricted again. "I do want to know," I replied weakly.

"Then meet me at the Souhma Estate tomorrow during lunch." His hand squeezed my shoulder in reassurance. "Fear is the last thing you want to have."

I felt him about to pull away and suddenly my hand was atop of his, holding him there. Too many emotions bubbled in my chest as I stared into his calm eyes trying to think of something to say.

"Thank you, Momiji."

His warm palm turned so that my hand was in his grasp. He squeezed my fingers gently before releasing my hand and walking down the hall.

* * *

Miharu called me from her new cell saying she was waiting at the front of the school already.

"You okay? You seem…down." Miharu commented as we walked home together.

Glancing her way I shook my head slightly. "I'm just thinking. Did someone pick up Telane from school?"

"Hm? No, she went over to a friend's house. My mom's going to pick her up once she gets out of work." With a sigh, she leaned her head back and stared at the orange sky.

"Mm," I moved my gaze to the path ahead of us.

It pained my head to come up with any sort of plan for tomorrow. Thinking ahead seemed to be an impossible task.

"Are you mad?" Miharu questioned.

I turned to her again and saw she had returned to studying me; her brown eyes hard at work as her jaw clenched in concentration.

I grunted at her question before deciding to avoid her gaze.

"So you are mad! What happened? Someone piss you off? Can I kick their ass?" A gasp escaped her throat as she jumped on her toes and threw her fist in the air. "Let's egg their house!"

A dry laugh left my lips. "Let's not." _'Let's just knock them upside the head a few times so some sense can be shoved in there.' _A pang shot through my head and I quietly moaned from the pain and agitation.

"Seriously, what happened?"

Taking in a deep breath, I debated for a moment, whether or not to tell her. In the end, we ended up having a heated conversation the rest of the walk. Once we were at the front door, Miharu came to the final conclusion that we should smack some sense into her and ask what the hell is the matter. Violent resolutions must run in the family.

"Hey, listen, I'm going to meet a friend at the library later today, do you want to come?" Miharu questioned as she slipped the shoes from her feet and dipped her feet into her house slippers.

Following her lead, I shook my head and stood up straight. "I think I'll just stay here tonight."

Miharu huffed dramatically. "What, am I not good enough for you to hang out with?"

Rolling my eyes, I replied: "You sure you're not reading my mind?" I smirked as she glowered at me. We headed to the kitchen, stuffed our faces with fruit her mother had bought the day before, then retreated to her room.

An hour or so later, Miharu was on her way into town, leaving me in a silent house. Dressed in blue plaid pants and a white cotton t-shirt that hang loosely on my shoulders, I worked on my pre-calculus homework as much as I could before feeling the pressure of loneliness crash down around me. After packing my papers into my school bag, I ventured out of Miharu's room and strayed down the hallway.

Like a lost puppy, I took slow, uncertain steps toward a door I was extremely self conscience of going to. Either there would be an atmosphere that would welcome me with no worries, or there would be tension that could drive me away with my head low and my tail tucked between my legs.

My socked feet shuffled softly across the carpet as I finally approached the wooden door. I lifted my fist to knock, however stopped myself when an empty cold feeling drifted through the wood to my skin. Suddenly I wondered if Takeshi was even in there.

Brushing my knuckles gently on the door, my hand fell to the door knob, twisted, then pushed it open to peer inside. Darkness shrouded the room though I was able to make out the guest bed made up and Takeshi's suitcase sitting solitary by the curtained window. The clock ticked rather loudly from overhead the bare closet, mocking the silence with passing time.

Sighing, I dropped my head slightly, pulled away from the door and shut it. Maybe he was still with his famous girlfriend, blowing off some steam or grieving in some special partner way.

I poured myself a glass of water and stood in the kitchen with my hands placed on the edge of the counter. My mind kept my gaze frozen on the contained cold liquid. Somehow it didn't surprise me that my evening turned out the way it did. All afternoon I had prayed for silence, solitude; time to collect my thoughts and come up with a plan of action.

Yet standing there, I felt numb. No thoughts plagued my mind and no sense of urgency pushed me to do so. A nothingness for a moment was bliss wrapped in uselessness. Finally, I pushed away from the counter and lifted the cold glass to my lips, downing half the container without a pause for breath.

Placing the glass on the tiled counter, I gasped and lifted my bare wrist to my mouth to wipe at the excess water. And like a missing chip suddenly placed into the hard drive, a resolution formed in my mind plain to see. Tomorrow was a risk, and unlike my pathetic attempt at talking to Haru earlier that day, I would go through with the resolution. Because like Momiji had said; fear was the last thing I wanted to have.


	17. Chapter 16

AN: I just want to apologize for the three month delay. This was originally going to be posted in May...but then I've rewritten this a couple of times since. I want to thank all who continue to read and those who have deemed this story worthy enough to be on their favorites list. To kuraikami, I hope this chapter is to your liking and not a disappointment. Thank you so much for your reviews! Without further a-due, here is chapter 16.

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~Chapter 16~

'She sits quietly there like water in a jar. Says: baby why you trembling like you are?' -Tim McGraw

_A harsh wind engulfed my body for an entirety of two seconds before a loud explosion erupted and brought me to my knees. The rugged cement below tore at my exposed legs as this time heated waves of air blew past. Risu's shoes ran across my vision, towards the source of the heated wind. _

'_What are you doing…?' She wasn't supposed to be there; she shouldn't get so close! I parted my lips to scream at her to get away but only a ringing silence filled my ears. _

_Her figure remained standing, her back turned to me as the blaze outlined her stiff form. I followed her gaze to two shining red lights and wild flames licking, devouring a hazy red object. Risu turned to me, slowly; her expression one of shock and sad regret. _

_Another explosion, this time the wild flames devoured her._

I awoke with a jerk and a gasp. My heart pounded loudly in my chest as my eyes attempted to adjust to the sudden darkness that surrounded me. With much effort, I lifted my tired arm to rest over my eyes and took in a shaky breath.

My body cried for sleep, but fear for my mind and heart screamed no. The lack of light filtering into the room suggested the time to wake up was far along and soon exhaustion won over.

--

Convincing Miharu to go to school without me was difficult. After explaining to her that my reason for ditching had nothing to do with avoiding Risu, she had wanted to stay home as well.

Skipping, she had said, was so much funner with a buddy for company.

However, I reminded her that one of us had to walk Telane to school since her parents were still asleep (they hadn't returned home until sometime around five in the morning), and she would suspect something if the both of us stayed. I threw in a cough and groggy voice to give her the impression that I wasn't going anywhere but back to bed for awhile.

With a sour expression and an annoyed brow, Miharu left dressed in the school uniform with her younger sister who was none the wiser to my lame excuse of skipping.

Once the two were gone, I swiftly changed from my pajamas to some street clothes and tiptoed out into the hall. I hesitated by Takeshi's room, holding my breath and straining my ears for any sound of a person occupying the room. Nothing but dead silence returned to me. How much longer was he going to be with his girlfriend?

Pushing thoughts of my brother aside, I continued silently down the stairs and set up camp in the kitchen. Two and a half hours were spent in that small section of the house. I was anything but composed; a nervous, anticipation-filled wreck would be more accurate. Once the time for waiting was up, I pocketed my cell phone (after making sure it was on silent) and carefully slipped out the front door.

The front gate proved to be a challenge in a quick getaway since it never let me exit or enter gracefully (or silently). Instead, I climbed one of the trees nearest the wall that surrounded the property and divided the houses on the street. Others probably would have had the mission impossible theme playing in their heads while doing this 'simple' (yeah right) task. In order to keep from screwing up, I made sure to keep my mind a total blank. I leapt from the longest branch to the wall, then hopped down onto the sidewalk on the other side. My landing screwed my balance and I ended up falling on my knees to keep from falling on my face.

My skin burned under my jeans and I bit my lip. Knowing that the actual scrape was smaller than the stinging pain, I pushed myself up and began to walk (awkwardly at first) down the sidewalk.

As the high noon sun beat down on the sidewalk, cars drove past, carrying work people from jobs to restaurants to satisfy their hunger. I kept my head bent low and my hands stuffed in my pockets as I passed adults in business suits. The crowds began to thin and the traffic died down as I finally made it through to the other side of the city.

A block away from the estate, I found Momiji standing at the corner of a crosswalk, his eyes trained on the blue sky above. Taking in a deep breath, I silently walked up to his side, catching his attention immediately.

"You're here." He greeted with a warm smile that caused his eyes to shut momentarily.

"Yes," I replied softly, nodding in return to his greeting.

His eyes slid open revealing a somber glint in his crystal blue orbs. His smile soon faded; my confidence faded with it.

"Are you ready?"

Unable to find my voice, I nodded fervently to which he simply stared. I thought he was considering backing down, turning away; however, his hand was soon around my wrist.

"Follow me," he ordered, turning to face the street. Before a step forward could be taken, he glanced at me over his shoulder and lifted his index finger to his lips. "Remember: once we're inside, we have to be quiet."

My voice failed me once again so I nodded slowly in understanding. We crossed the street and instead of leading me to the front gate as I had assumed he would, we turned to the left and walked along the wall. He stopped by a cracked opening that was large enough to just scrape past. After pulling me through to the other side, I understood that we were in the Souhma estate. Green plants surrounded us on all sides, we must have entered through a courtyard.

From our position I could already guess that the estate grounds were vast. The mansion halls spread like rivers through a continent. How one would be able to navigate through so much was a thinker. Grabbing my attention, Momiji pulled me through the courtyard, following the exterior of the halls and pulling me out of sight whenever we came upon someone out on a stroll.

After a minute or two, we stopped by a blooming hibiscus bush that thrived just outside an open shoji door that led to a darkened room. Turning to me, Momiji nodded his head in the direction of the open shoji. Gulping, I took that as his signal to go on alone.

Before I could move forward, a man stepped out of the room and onto the wooden landing. A large hand lifted to his face, thin strands of black hair shielded his eyes from view. It wasn't until his hand dropped that I realized he had just lit a cigarette, then stared out into the courtyard we had just traversed.

Noticing the reason for my hesitance, Momiji took in a deep breath before grabbing hold of my wrist and standing from the bush. My heart skittered into an alarming run as the man in the white coat glanced at us from over his cigarette, his one noticeable eye widening slightly in surprise. His lips parted, causing the lit bud of nicotine to dangle somewhat carelessly.

Glancing sideways at Momiji, I noticed his jaw clenched and his shining blue eyes burning defiantly in the man's direction. An entire conversation took place in the span of two seconds of silence. Tightening his grip on my wrist, the blond Souhma pulled me up to the wooden platform and led me to the open shoji.

Stealing a glance in the man's direction, I saw his surprised expression had not changed; while this fed to my adrenaline, it did little to boost my confidence.

The room we entered was dark: silks and cloths were draped haphazardly about the floors and furniture. Once my eyes adjusted completely to the extreme contrast of lighting, my attention fell to a figure on the floor, draped in long rich fabrics with their back to us.

"That was rather quick." The figure spoke sarcastically, their voice causing the blood in my veins to run cold. The head of silky black hair turned to face us before freezing in place. The grip around my wrist tightened to the point of cutting off circulation, though I could barely take notice. We stood before Akito, whose shock immediately turned to anger. He stood swiftly, his gaze intimidating. "What is this?" He hissed, taking a threatening step forward. "What is this?!" He repeated in outrage.

Footsteps sounded behind us.

"Akito," The same man from before, recovered from his shock, stepped in the doorway behind us, his expression now worried.

"She needs to speak with you." Momiji spoke harshly.

"Is this a trap?" Akito questioned, his eyes washing over the boy beside me, distrust written all over his features.

"You wouldn't have seen her otherwise." Momiji returned instead.

"Momiji," The man behind us spoke deeply, admonishing the boy with just his name. When I returned my gaze to Akito, his piercing gaze was studying me.

A pregnant pause passed before he spoke calmly with a hinted malice. "Very well. Both of you out, now."

My skin turned cold as I realized he was removing the person anchoring my courage. When Momiji didn't move Akito's icy stare transferred from me to him. Fear sprang up in my chest as I turned my attention to the young Souhma.

"You can..." _'go.'_ My voice died as his cold eyes turned to me.

"It's not a good idea." He whispered in defense.

"She won't receive a single answer to all the questions I'm sure are just _burning_ inside her being, as long as you're still here."

Steeling myself the best that I could, I placed my free hand on his arm and locked onto his sudden somber gaze. _'I'll be okay. Please.'_

He dropped his gaze before glancing back at Akito in a measured silence. Soon his grip left my wrist and his presence faded from the room. My attention quickly focused entirely on the daunting man standing naturally in the shadows. His dark eyes shined cruelly as a frown marred his features. Clasping my hands behind my back, I watched uneasily as he moved slowly to a low table at the end of the room.

"I'm guessing I hadn't made myself clear before." He began as he lifted a porcelain tea pot and gently poured some hot tea into an equally white porcelain cup. "First Hatsuharu, then Momiji...if things continue, then possibly Hatori as well." With a clang he set the tea pot back onto the table

Remaining silent seemed the safest reply.

His eyes lifted to stare at me from under his dark lashes. "From day one you've been nothing but trouble. Coming here and wrapping everyone around your finger; Rin was the only smart one, you never could break through her stubborn exterior."

Dropping my eyes to the floor I analyzed his words but could make no sense of them. "How...long do you think I've been here?"

A scoff left his lips as he hunched forward. "I _know_ how long you've been here. _You_ are the one who foolishly thinks." Nonchalantly lifting the tea cup to his lips, he took a long sip before glancing at me from over the rim. "You will receive your precious answers only if you keep your promise never to return. I'm not such a forgiving person, you should be _grateful_."

Steeling myself yet again, I clutched onto my jeans and slowly, obediently, sat down on the floor, my feet tucked firmly under my legs. Like a wild feline stalking its prey, Akito slowly approached. When he circled behind me, my fingers dug deeper into the jean fabric, my back stiffened, and my eyes shut in anticipation.

"_You_...killed...your mother."

My eyes shot open, my jaw dropped and my heart skipped a painful beat. Goosebumps ran all across my body as revulsion and hatred flashed across my face; I turned to face him,.

"That night. You believe your mother went out and you fell asleep. Only a coward would choose that memory.

"Soon after your mother left, you yourself dressed and departed. Who knows the things you did, things I'm certain only a slut as yourself would do. Sometime later, your sweet, fun-loving mother entered her vehicle to go home to her _little baby_." He spat the words sarcastically as he circled around before me.

"As she was pulling out, you were running out. Idiotic as you are, you ran to the middle of the road and stopped. Her car swerved and...you heard the police report. Filled with guilt as you should have felt and feel to this day; you came crawling here, _begging_ to forget. This is where you first made the promise to never return, to never interfere with the Souhma again. After Hatori's deed, you awoke in your home in time for your family to call and inform you of the _accident_."

This man lost important wires that allow human beings to function correctly...possibly at birth.

"When school resumed for Hatsuharu, I knew the chances of you breaking your promise were too high. So, I took in insurance."

Telane's teary hazel gaze flashed in my head and I shuddered from an unknown emotion. There was a lull in Akito's "explanation" which caused me to search out his gaze; only to find that he was studying me with a gloating smirk.

Closing my eyes, I shook my head. "No. That doesn't make any sense. Why would I choose to simply forget? How does one even go about simply "forgetting?"" With tears gathering in the corner of my eyes, I turned back to the sick man.

"I'm not the one running about in that puny little head of yours." He sneered, turning his back on me and heading back to his table.

"You can't actually be serious!" I cried out, desperate for him to explain further. There had to be more, that couldn't be it! "You have to be lying..." The words left my lips in a whisper, though they were enough for Akito to glare over his shoulder.

"Just what did you expect? That _I_ was the villain in all of this?" Clicking his tongue, he turned fully to me and leaned against the far wall. "You are fulfilling that job so nicely in your own life. What do I have to do but remind you?"

"That's enough."

Akito and I started at the unexpected voice and turned to the other door in the room that led out into the inner hallway. In the doorway stood the tall figure of Hatsuharu. Though, strands of his white hair fell across his forehead, casting his eyes in shadow.

Akito recovered quickly, frowning in disdain. "It's enough when I say it is. She went through so much _trouble_ to get where she is today, Haru, I do believe she deserves to know about it."

His head lifted, revealing his dull dark eyes and thin lined mouth. "Not from you." He very nearly growled as he stepped into the room, a dark aura surrounding him.

His guttural sound was familiar and his tense form pressed more stress on my exhausted nerves. His eyes flickered to me briefly, darkening upon quick observation of whatever they saw. No sooner had a breath passed when Haru suddenly had Akito's small form pressed up against the wall by the collar of his robe and Momiji burst in, quickly grabbing onto my wrist and pulling me from the room.

Hatori's voice boomed angrily, as the white coated man flew passed me to the interior of the room. Accusations, threats, denials, my brain couldn't process the difference in the violent outbursts. The only words I could process shoved everything to the back of my mind and honed my attention on the blond boy before me.

"...just heard your brother is in the hospital."

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	18. Chapter 17

**A/N: **Well, wouldn't you know it! I updated before August ended! I would like to say a gracious thank you to everyone who has kept up with this story for so long. This chapter is frustratingly short in my opinion and I'm a little nervous of the outcome. I would really appreciate feedback to know that I haven't screwed anything up.

And also, thank you **kuraikami **and **isabelle896** for your reviews! I hope this lives up to your expectations. : )

Oh and by the way....there may be only one chapter left after this.

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**Chapter 17**

_'There is a darkness deep in you. A frightening magic I cling to.'_ -Snow Patrol

The walls were blinding white. The air carried the pungent scent of cleaners and minty cover ups. White. You'd think it were comforting if you didn't know a person you loved were in a similar white room fighting for their life.

My thumb became my new chew toy as I sat huddled in a plastic chair in one of the many waiting rooms in the hospital. Very seldom was it when a nurse would breeze through the area, almost as if they didn't have a care in the world. My jaw clamped down tightly on my now wrinkled thumb, myself only wincing at the slight pain.

_'Give them more credit, Kitani. They work in a hospital for goodness sakes.'_

Other visitors passed through more quickly. I hated them for it. They came and left in groups, always supporting one another with shoulders or words. Momiji had offered to stay with me, but after making sure that it was in fact Takeshi being sedated and stitched up down the hall, I sent him away. My mind was a scary place to be and I didn't want him there making it worse.

Finally, a passing nurse stopped before my seat. She was a short lady, young. Possibly Takeshi's age. Glancing up, I could tell that once I stood I would be a foot or so taller.

"Miss Hiratai?"

My throat made an approving noise as I dropped my thumb from my mouth and sat up straighter in my chair.

"He's ready to see you." Her expression lifted and her voice rang in optimism as she waited patiently for me to stand and follow. Leading me to one of the many doors in the wing, she gently pushed it open then stepped aside to smile brightly.

To put it plainly, I ignored her. My foot stepped onto the waxed tile and immediately my eyes focused in on the white sheeted bed. His forehead was bandaged; his fair hair slicked back from either water or ointment, and his bottom lip, bruised black, sported a stitching that I could not bring myself to look at for long.

The nurse murmured that he would be released by the afternoon of the next day. They were still waiting on a few x-rays to see if he had any fractured ribs.

As I sank into the chair at his side, my vision began to blur and my hands shook uncontrollably. Reaching for his pale palm, I found it to be cold and rough against my sweaty hands.

With one word in farewell, the nurse exited and closed the door behind her. My breathing hitched as I attempted speech, but failed horribly. I wanted to know who had done this to him, what had happened for him to be beaten so!

"Takeshi..." I managed, clasping his cold palm in both of mine before I gave into the tears that had been wanting to fall from the moment Akito spoke of my mother.

Soon darkness overcame me.

Maybe my mentality just couldn't sustain so much information in one day and needed to reboot. Or, maybe subconsciously, I searched for an excuse of any kind to distract myself from a horrendous act I could have possibly committed.

I stirred at the sound of movement in the room and heard voices softly murmuring together. My aunt came to mind as being one of them, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Turning my face from them, I concentrated solely on my brother's even breathing and soon drifted to darkness again.

_A pair of worn tennie shoes flashed past my hazy vision. My head felt like a tremendous globe of cement as I slowly lifted it to follow the running shoes. _

_Fair hair danced in the hot wind that blew every which way as Takeshi's slim form stood out against a flaming background. Hesitantly, his face turned to me, his expression hard and unreadable. My heart dropped to my gut where it continued to pound furiously. The violent flames burst forth, reaching to pull him into their grasp._

"_You can't blame yourself." A voice spoke as the scene disappeared and black was all there was to see. Sobs raked my core, giving the painful sensation of my chest cracking. _

"_Yes...I can..." I argued, my words lashing out in a savage snarl. _

_Cold flesh appeared under my clutches in the form of a limp arm. I shivered away in revulsion, only to then feel heated ash slip through my fingers. A warm palm rested just between my shoulder blades, emanating comforting waves throughout my body. The warmth was so sensational, a startled gasp left my lips and pulled me into consciousness. _

"Don't." A silky rich voice ordered softly.

Lifting my head from my crossed arms, I blinked my vision clear of hot tears and refrained from facing the presence above me.

"Haru?" I whispered, half hoping I was wrong.

The palm slowly removed itself in answer.

My eyes shut momentarily as I fought the ache to reach out and hod onto that warmth.

"You are unwell." He murmured, his voice further as he stood to his full height.

My lips parted, though I wouldn't allow myself to speak until I was absolutely certain I could. Silence weighed heavily in the room, bombarding my tired shoulders and causing my head to lower in fear. I didn't want to see him; didn't believe I could.

"Was he telling the truth?" The words tumbled from my lips, adding weight to the silence.

"What did he tell you?"

Holding the tears in as much as I could, I slowly turned my head and unintentionally glared at him. His expression, for once wasn't blank, though it wasn't soft either. I couldn't read what his thoughts were, but I wasn't about to answer his question.

A sigh left his lips and immediately I turned away to gaze steadily at my brother's immobile face.

"It's not nearly as horrid as he put it." He allowed, lowering himself to the seat beside me. "A year ago, we were friends. It was a mutual agreement we keep it secret. You didn't want to deal with fangirls the way Tohru had to the moment she befriended Yuki, and I saw no argument to counter the decision."

"But...how...?"

"We met after school once. You were reading some book, waiting for you friend while I was heading home. You asked the time, I gave it, then you couldn't resist me."

My eyes snapped to his face, though he kept it serious I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. Deciding to just let him roll with it, I lowered my gaze.

"So...we were friends..." I pushed him to continue.

"Over the course of three months, your cousin and Momiji were the only two to find out." His eyebrows drew together as if he didn't understand how they found out. "How they discovered remains a mystery. I wanted to take you somewhere for some reason. When I brought it up to you, you had full intentions of saying no.

"What made me say yes?"

"The fates gave you no choice." Once again his expression was so strict, I couldn't discern if he were kidding. "You almost canceled when you found your mother was to be heading out the same night I asked for. After she left, however, you called and said you would like to still go. Ironically, we ended up going to the same place your mother did. I understood you could get in trouble yet you felt the need to get after me for not expressing more concern."

Pulling my feet up onto my seat, I rested both my hands and cheek on my knees, silently listening. Haru remained in the seated position he'd started in, his eyes dark as I'm sure each memory was playing through before him.

"You were determined to get home before her, so when we had the chance, we quickly exited. As soon as we were past the parking lot, you felt freer and more at ease; skipping around and gazing at the sky." He hesitated a moment and immediately, I knew what was to happen next.

"Did I get the brilliant idea to go into the middle of an empty street to get a better view of the oh so beautiful starry night?"

He remained silent and kept staring at the wall across from him.

I could feel my insides crumble and tightened my legs closer to my body. I was such a stupid, naive...

"A man approached us." Haru spoke darkly. "Said he only wanted our money and no trouble. Such an inconsequential man, I had him on the floor beaten in less than a minute. But I let my guard down. As we were about to walk away, he pulled a gun. I managed to push you out of the way and take care of him. Due to my carelessness, you landed roughly in the street when a vehicle was just turning the corner."

I asked him to stop for a moment before lifting my head and turning away from him. That...he couldn't be. Why couldn't I remember if all this happened?!

"It really..." _was an accident_, I tried to say, but my mind slammed down on itself. "If any of this is true, why don't I have even an inkling of remembrance?"

Solemnity was clearly written on his features as I turned back to him. "Because you're not supposed to. As soon as the vehicle swerved and crashed, the man who had tried to rob us, ran towards it. His intentions were to help, but it soon caught flames; him with it. I pulled you away before the whole thing could explode. We ran back to your place and I stayed with you for some hours. You had pushed me to go home, and for awhile I did. When I returned, I found Hatori and Akito in your living room; you had answered the door with tears in your eyes. I hadn't understood what was going on until you told me about your mother. Akito and Hatori had delivered the news, bringing with them a solution to your problem."

"You never did tell me how they convinced you, just that you couldn't live with your mother's death on your hands for the rest of your life. With Akito in the same room, I couldn't argue with you. It was his idea and you were willing; I could not object. Before the deed, you had pulled me aside and apologized profusely. You asked me to not forget you; to be with you even though you would not know who I was. We were friends and you needed me. The rest, you know."

Silence reigned once more, this time I drowned in it. No words surfaced, no thoughts formed. I simply sat perfectly still with my jaw slack.

"I apologize for bringing pain into your life." He started quietly. "Akito enjoyed causing you misery; your brother lying here is proof of that."

That caught as much of my attention as it could. "Akito did this to him?"

He regretted having to deliver the news. "He did this to hurt you. Once Hatori found him, he sent him to the hospital straight away. The doctors have classified it as a random mugging since his wallet was missing. He doesn't remember what happened to him, only that he was walking home when something hit him on the back of his head."

Dropping my forehead to my knee, I shook my head and moaned slightly.

Haru lifted himself from his seat and moved to kneel before me. Slowly, he reached for my hands, taking on in each of his own, and succeeded in lifting my gaze to his.

"I have been selfish in keeping contact with you, knowing Akito would do everything in his power to keep us apart. I am sorry you have to go through this, and I wish I could ease your troubles, but I seem to only be able to bring you more." His dark brown eyes bored so strongly into mine, a shiver went up my spine. Slowly, he lifted one of my hands to his lips and planted a soft chaste kiss before lifting the other to do the same. "I understand if you don't want to talk to me."

Then, gently, he released me, stood up, and departed from the room. The door clicked closed, leaving me in a cold room where everything was silent except for the heart monitor and my brother's soft breathing.

It wasn't long until my aunt entered, hugging me close and saying it was time to go home. There was no fight in me to stay. With a last glance at my brother, I left the room under her guidance and soon found welcoming hugs in both Miharu and Telane.

The drive back was solemnly quiet with only the pit patter of rain from the dark sky above.

"Are you girls hungry? I can pick up some hamburgers on the way." My aunt suggested while one of her hands began to dig through her purse.

Miharu snorted in return. "Come on, Mom, think of the poor cows! Let's get a veggy pizza or something."

It was with that conversation an epiphany struck me.

He had stayed with me. Despite _everything_. I had been a coward, willing to give him up at the first opportunity, yet he stayed. He possibly blamed himself for the whole night and had to be reminded each time he saw me and I treated him as nothing more than an acquaintance. What's worse, I couldn't deny wanting to be near him. I put him through so much and yet I still yearned for more. Haru...

My eyes lifted to the raindrops which splashed across the windows.

I have been the world's biggest fool.


	19. Chapter 18

A/N: Jane Austen was talented in the art of tying up all loose ends in her stories. Her being a role model of mine, I hope to be able to tie up a story at least half as well as she did. Thank you, everyone, for reading, reviewing, and taking time from your life to acknowledge this story in some way. kuraikami, Ebony Dagger, little-L.A.M., and midnightsprite, I thank you all courteously for reviewing the last chapter and I hope this ending has been worth the wait. Just a small note: I am holding a poll for the next story to write. I would appreciate it if everyone could take part. Woo hoo, excuse my nervousness please, a story two years in the making is being brought to a close!

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Chapter 17

'_Somehow I saw you as a weakness. I thought I had to be strong. Oh but I was just young, I was scared. I was wrong.' –Dixie Chicks_

The rain was a constant throughout the month. One day the humidity was unbearable, the next, nothing but downpour and cold winds. Sleep remained a distant dream and food was only stuffed down my throat whenever I was questioned about my health. Takeshi had returned home a few short days after being admitted. His strength surprised the family, considering he didn't look well at all.

No matter how much I wished to check up on him, to ask him what had happened, what he had been through; I kept my distance. After all, he wouldn't have been tortured the way he had if it weren't for my cowardice and weakness.

There were no breaks at school either. The end of the year was approaching which meant big time exams that determined our future were just a few days away. My nose was almost always staring down a work sheet or text book; my hand forever taking down notes or writing numbers and equations. Contact was lost with Kaze as she delved deeper into the books than anyone else in the last week before the dreaded exams.

Kovu, Airesth, and Haku showed up every now and again during the lunch period, with books in their hands, and calculators stuffed in their shirt pockets. Although the four of us enjoyed talking about trivial things, we were terrible as a study group. As soon as our food was eaten, Kovu would take off to the library to find Kaze and Haku would attempt to read a text book while I quizzed Airesth on her English words.

Risu never showed up. Except for in the class we shared, I never saw her around. It was a dreadful pain when even in that class we refrained from speaking a single word to each other. She worked diligently with assignments (a good change, I'll admit), and spent her free time with Kimbrel.

That guy was a tall one, athletic in the tennis department. His skin would have been fair had it not been darkened by many hours spent in the sun. His eyes were cold balls of amber and his hair a tumble of curly bronze locks. His air and composure reeked of pride and intimidation. It only sparked fire inside of me; I never wanted more than to walk up to him and give him a good punch in the face and a swift kick in the rear. The fact that I've spent a paragraph explaining him and his git appearance alone leaves me feeling hot and cold in the worst way. So, moving on…

"I don't understand it." Kaze spoke one of the few times we were able to speak to one another after school. We had made a date to head to the public library together to check out some history books for an essay we had just been informed would be on one of the exams. "He's just going to leave her broken all over again, why can't she see that?"

Kicking my foot across the clean pavement, I could barely spring up a smirk on the subject. "Because she doesn't want to. She wants to believe he's grown up and has become a guy who will take care of her." I shook my head then. She lived in a dream if I really were right.

"You should talk to her." Kaze suggested flippantly. She obviously had been waiting to say this for awhile, maybe even rehearsed it. "You two have been best friends for years, she'd listen to you. She's not listening to any of us. I think if you tried at least talking to her, she may see reason. If you can't get to her, no one can."

After glancing at her from the corner of my eyes, I smiled slightly and shrugged my shoulders. "No pressure, right?"

"Absolutely none," She scoffed with a small smile of her own.

We sighed as one then. We knew there wasn't much chance, yet we still held to the hope.

Our mission only lasted an hour until I was back in Miharu's doorway, removing my shoes on the doorstep and listening as Telane and Takeshi played games in the living room.

"I'm back!" I called before entering the living room and smiling at the two.

Telane turned to me, her smile bright and welcoming before she pushed herself to her feet and ran to my side, throwing her arms around my waist and holding me tight. Takeshi's face was rather laughable as he'd just been walked in on while holding a pair of dice in his right palm above his head and sporting a ridiculous looking pink wig. After returning Telane's embrace I lifted my gaze to Takeshi only to find he had sneakily slipped the wig from his head and thrown the object to the other side of the room, returning his hand to the table and warning me with his eyes to not even start.

"What are you two doing?" I questioned Telane instead, knowing _she_ wouldn't withhold information.

"We were playing a game I learned at school! I don't remember what it's called, though." She withdrew momentarily, obviously trying to recall the name before jumping back to life. "Its fun, do you want to play?!"

"Hey, Telane, isn't that show you wanted to watch about to start?" Takeshi questioned, quickly standing from the table and gesturing to the television set.

"Oh!" She exclaimed before leaving my side to slide in front of the television. As she switched it on, Takeshi motioned for me to follow him to the kitchen.

Wringing the strap of my school bag, I tensely followed him, dropping some extra books on the counter as he stopped before the refrigerator.

"There are some things I want to say," He started, taking in a deep breath.

"Do any of them deal with the reason why you were just wearing a pink wig like Barbie?"

"Bite me," He glowered, though a hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. He glanced at me sideways before shaking his head. "This is serious."

Dropping my head, I leaned awkwardly against the counter and waited for him to continue.

"I know that lately…I haven't been a great older brother. I mean, I ran off the first chance I got, not caring about how you and Mom took it." His blue eyes clouded momentarily before he turned his face away and took in a calming breath. "Then I wasn't even here when…_that_ happened. I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't ever really forgive me…"

"Takeshi…"

He wouldn't lift his face, though I could feel his dark gloom like a shadow that hung over a ray of sunshine. Emotions bubbled in my chest causing my voice to tremble as I attempted to step forward and contradict him.

"I don't…blame you. Not really. Before…" My voice cracked as I lifted my eyes to the ceiling, praying to please be able to get the words out correctly. "I turned a cold shoulder to you because I didn't know how else to handle it."

"I deserved it." Takeshi cut in. His blue eyes darkening as they bored into the nearest wall while his pale hands clutched onto the sides of his pants.

"No."

Finally, he turned his gaze to me and I was able to see the torment on his face, the anger and frustration he felt towards himself; it only caused more coherent words to flee from mind.

"If you're trying to apologize for leaving, then okay. But if you're trying to apologize for something you couldn't control-"

"I most definitely had control. I could have come back."

"You didn't know. Where is this coming from anyway?"

"Because I thought I wasn't going to make it and you were the last thing I regretted." He snapped before fully turning away and running a hand back through his fair hair. His shoulders tensed then sagged as he turned to me once again, this time with his head lifted and his eyes averted.

Stunned silence filled the room as it took me a moment to register exactly what that meant.

"You remember what happened?"

His voice was low and cautious as he answered. "No. Not really. I just remember thinking of you. Don't ask when I had the chance, I was knocked on the back of the head after all. While I was unconscious I guess, I could only think of how I never sorted things out with you. With the family we have here and the friends I'm sure you have, I felt somehow that I would be leaving you alone. And, I didn't want that. I felt as if I've left you alone long enough."

Here he stepped forward and reached for my hand but thought better of it and clutched his palm into a fist.

"I'm going back to America soon. And, if you want, you can come with me."

"But you're engaged, you have a life there," I blurted without thinking.

He sighed and latched his now cool eyes onto mine. "I bought a house with someone. And, I know you two have never met, but in my life, you two are the most important people. I would love it if you came to live with me. You could start over, you know?"

The breath left my lungs as I averted my gaze and stepped back from him, my palms turning cold and clammy as I rubbed them against the fabric of my uniform. "When do you leave?" I questioned while clearing my throat.

"The start of your summer vacation." He answered plainly.

My eyes snapped to him. "That's not far away."

"It's not tomorrow, either." He countered with a shrug. "You don't need to give me an answer now. You have time to think about it." His tone grew lighter, signifying the end of the conversation as he stepped forward and gently pulled me into an embrace.

As I held his thin body in my arms, I could only wonder as to how I could deny him. We were family, the only remainders of childhood memories spent with Mom. I was the chocolate to his milk; we just always meshed that way. He soon pulled away, smiled, and went back into the living room with Telane.

My mind cleared everything that had cluttered it up to analyze the new proposition that presented itself. The decision should have been easy.

Shaking my head at myself, I quickly grabbed my things and headed up the stairs to Miharu's room where I stayed until dinner was ready.

* * *

Exams proved to be the exact difficult opponent everyone had feared they would be. By lunch, everyone was exhausted and dreading the next hours left in the day. Kaze had returned to joining us outside by our tree. She leaned heavily against Kovu's slouched form as he rested his chin in his palm and the elbow of the same arm on his bent knee.

Haku lay sprawled in the grass with his back to the ground and his pale face to the blue sky above while Airesth lay perpendicular to him, her head resting on his cushioned stomach and her body twisted so that her hands lay clasped together on her hip.

A drained Miharu joined us along with a rather sober looking Momiji, which surprised all of us, though we were too tired to really show it.

"Kitani, kill me. Do it. I don't care anymore." My younger cousin groaned as she dropped to her knees at my side and practically collapsed across my lap. Catching her own actions, however, she suddenly stopped, leaned away from me and fell back down to sit on her own rear. "You going to sit down?" She questioned bluntly to Momiji who had remained standing.

"Hi, Momiji," We said as one, though, in all seriousness, it was not at all planned.

He smiled briefly at our greeting before returning it and lowering himself to the ground alongside Miharu.

Airesth suddenly stroke up a conversation with Kaze on the next class they had together, leaving the rest of us in awkward silence. Kovu pulled out his portable game player while Haku soon dozed off with the wind dabbing at the thin strands of his russet hair. Leaning back on my elbows, I dropped my head back to stare at the sky as well, though Miharu soon slapped my stomach to get my attention.

"Did you notice anything different today?" She whispered lowly, her tone dripping with the hint that she knew something important.

My eyebrows pulled together as I leaned in towards her. "Different, how?"

Her brown eyes slid to the couples across from us before returning a guarded stare in my direction. Beside her, Momiji pulled out two pink lollipops from his pocket and handed one to Miharu and the other to me. As I took the candy from his hand, he winked teasingly before sticking another inside his own mouth.

"Well it's only obvious to everyone." Miharu retorted, annoyed by my ignorance.

"Then everyone shouldn't keep it secret." I remarked dryly, annoyed with her annoyance.

"Did you notice Hatsuharu?" She whispered, quieter than before.

The mention of Haru raised goose bumps along my arms and legs, to which I quickly rubbed away and shook my head. In truth, I had shied away from him whenever in the same room. When we passed in hallways, I made sure to stick behind crowds and keep my head down. A coward at heart, I couldn't find it to face him. Not yet, I kept telling myself. Not yet.

"Well, he's…off." Miharu explained, though I had a feeling she was putting it lightly.

"He's been dismissed in the Souhma household." Momiji added solemnly, his eyes downcast as he removed the lollipop from his lips. "He went against Akito after your confrontation that day. They were both pretty broken up about it; it wasn't exactly the easiest thing to go through."

My eyes dropped to the ground as I felt heat rising to my cheeks and dread twisting in my gut. "Why?"

Miharu glanced at Momiji, silently asking what to say, though he kept his face forward, his expression one of sympathetic comfort.

"Because, Silly, the guy's in love with you." He remarked with a warm smile.

One would think that those words would make anyone feel flattered or happy to be cherished in such a way by someone not blood related. Though, the words felt like a stab from a knife laced in guilt. A family was arguing within itself…over _just me_?

Miharu slowly turned to Momiji to whisper, "I told you not to tell her that. Now she's going to get all weird."

Momiji blinked his large blue eyes twice before turning to face Miharu fully, his expression one of blank concern as he thought her words over. Had I paid attention, I would have wondered just how many people rehearsed what they were going to say before actually speaking with me. I also would have been determined to prove her wrong.

"I have to go, excuse me." I mumbled before rising to my feet and rushing for the nearest building.

Both Kaze and Airesth called after me, though I left it to Miharu to explain, being sure she would explain. If I had stayed seated I would have thought of him and nothing but him; worried over something I didn't have a say over; and dreaded a meeting I didn't have to think about just yet.

Walking through the hallway, I kept my head low and hoped no one would stop to talk. As it was I had to dodge groups who either walked too slow or stopped completely to joke around. Slipping down an empty hall, I quickly ran my hands over my face and leaned into the deepest corner I could find. A group of freshman ran past yelling and laughing, causing me to press further against the wall.

No matter where you went in school, there's hardly ever a place to find to be by yourself even just for a moment. Not during the school hours anyway.

Then I heard a laugh that stopped my breathing and kept me frozen against the wall. A low chuckle soon followed it and soon two bodies appeared across the hall, pressing into each other as they leaned into the next darkest corner of the hallway.

Immediately I averted my eyes, embarrassment and shame washing over me to the point I could barely control my trembling body.

The first of the voices gasped, causing the second to question what the matter was.

"Kitani…?"

Lifting my hardened eyes to the couple, I immediately locked gazes with Risu who still had yet to untangle her arms from around Kimbrel's neck. A full minute could have passed if Kimbrel hadn't turn around to fully face me as he cleared his throat and regarded me with an arrogant tilt of his head.

"Do you mind?"

I glanced at him for less than a second before my eyes returned to Risu. Her dark eyes portrayed every fear and apology there was to acknowledge before she dropped them and slipped her hand into Kimbrel's as if to hold him back.

My lips parted though I quickly departed, slow enough to show I wasn't afraid of the 'oh so great' Kimbrel, and fast enough to convey just how pissed I was.

After finding an empty classroom, I entered, closed the door behind myself and began to pace along the chalkboard. Words flew from my mouth, curses I'm not proud of, before the door was slowly pulled open, to which I whirled around, ready to face any opponent it turned to be.

Risu stood in the doorway, her shoulders hunched forward as if she knew she was to be yelled at. I bit my tongue to keep it from flying too quickly as she stepped in, closing the door behind herself just as slowly as she'd opened it. My arms crossed on their own accord, helping me to feel I had some sort of defense.

She lifted her head to stare directly into my eyes, the action causing me to avert my gaze to the chalkboard.

"So you're still not going to talk then?" She spoke, her own fire roaring just beneath her calm words.

At my continued silence, she lifted her hands before noisily dropping them to her sides in exasperation.

"What do you want me to do? Get down on my knees and beg for forgiveness?" When my eyes flashed to her, she shook her head and crossed her arms. "I'm not doing that. You know why? Because _I'm not doing anything wrong_! You guys think you can just judge me without even asking why!"

"We asked you why," I cut in, uncrossing my arms like whips and tensely holding them at my sides. "You said it was because he changed, that's he's a different person."

"And he is!"

"Except for the fact that he's not!"

She turned away and shook her head, her hand supporting her back as she leaned over a desk. The stance a person often took when they believed they were listening to something ridiculous.

"He's played this tune before and you keep dancing to it, Risu! The last time he took your virginity, what will it be this time? Your future? Your _friends_?"

She rolled her eyes and replied: "Looks like it's already cost me that."

Her words stabbed me to the core though when she turned to me I could see it had pained her as well.

"I came here to talk, not to be yelled at. Are you _ever_ going to listen to what I have to say?"

"Last I checked it's all I've been doing all these years." Feeling that she would listen, I took a chance and stepped forward. "But, Risu, one person can only take so much stupidity."

I should have worded it better. Her dark eyes glared at me from behind unshed tears as she tilted her head and sported a cynical smile.

"That's a joke coming from _you_." Her hands trembled as she moved them to rest on her hips. Slowly, she pulled her lips into her mouth before staring just above my head. "So five years of a friendship gone down the drain? Is that it?"

Her dark eyebrow lifted causing my own to lower heavily over my eyes.

"It takes two to throw in the towel." My lip curled at the sudden thought of Kimbrel's hands all over Risu's body. "And a third to reap the benefits."

The bell for class chimed as Risu and I stared each other down, both of us unwilling to be the first to walk away. Soon, Risu blinked. Shortly after she scoffed then turned to head out the door.

* * *

After exams, the junior classes focused primarily on the graduation of the seniors. Many of my classmates mourned the coming loss of their great Prince while others grieved quietly over the obvious coupling of Kyo Souhma and Tohru Honda. Apparently, the short tempered grouch had fallen for the sweet innocent, pure of heart. Now tell me, who didn't see that one coming?

"Kitani, are you ever going to suck it up and talk to Haru?" Miharu questioned in the morning as we walked to school.

Ever since Momiji had shared the news last week of Haru and his feelings, Miharu had jumped on every opportunity to grill me about it. This week, being the last before graduation and therefore summer break, she grew to be more persistent.

"Why do you keep asking me?" I questioned, already irritated with her. My patience could only stretch so far in the early morning.

"Because!" I forget, though. Her patience is always shorter than mine. "You keep dancing around the subject and this guy isn't going to wait around forever! Even if he did, he shouldn't. He practically poured his heart out to you and you return the favor by ignoring him? Come on, Kitani, that's low."

"I didn't tell you any of this," I retorted in puzzlement.

"No," Miharu breathed as she slapped her hand on her thigh. "Come on, Kitani, I know you know now. I don't understand everything perfectly, but I'm pretty sure I know enough."

I waited for her to continue in silence, unwilling to give anything away, which caused her to roll her eyes.

"I know that when you first met Haru, you liked the guy. In the like, like sort of way." Her shoulders slumped as she begrudgingly took the choice of explaining things to me as if I were a child. "I also know that the head of the family didn't approve and told you guys to end it. Then the accident happened…and you suddenly acted like you forgot all about your little wonder boy."

Suddenly her gaze dropped and her hands tugged on the skirt of her uniform.

"It's just, the both of you need each other; from what I've seen anyway." Her voice dropped and suddenly the air grew awkward.

Dropping my head, I passed my tongue over my teeth while attempting to find the words to pass the uncomfortable subject. "We're going to be late." I spoke at last. Without waiting for any sort of response, I moved us forward to continue walking.

* * *

The one class I shared with Machi ended up being the only class I looked forward to anymore. The art department had put together boxes of beautiful origami flowers that our class was assigned to post up through the halls and auditorium where the grand reception was to be.

At first it was comforting to be around another who carried the air of solemnity and remained silent about it, though the tasks Machi and I were given required little thought. Needless to say, between asking Machi the occasional question on how things looked and where other things were supposed to be put, my mind wondered elsewhere.

As I reached for another origami flower to tape up I caught a glimpse of Machi and instantly halted my movements. Holding a crumpled flower in hand, Machi's eyebrows were drawn together and her lips pouted into a thoughtful frown. While I had never really seen many expressions cross Machi's face before, I cracked a smile, thinking that that expression had to be the cutest on her.

"Machi?" I called out; momentarily dropping the flower I had plucked back into the box it had come from.

Immediately her face cleared as she surfaced from her thoughts and stared at me expectantly.

"You seem…very concerned, are you okay?"

Her mouth opened into a small 'o' before she slowly shook her head. "I apologize for slowing down. I zoned out."

I opened my mouth to question if she was all right, but got the feeling she would say she was even if it were false.

A group of girls passed us, sniggering rather loudly about a certain Prince and a girl who believed she had the right to get close to him. Machi's eyes dulled as they passed behind her back, her hold on the origami flower slacking to the point the flower slipped from her thin fingers.

"Hey," I murmured in surprise, catching the flower before it could fall to the floor. My eyes followed the group of girls before returning my attention to the silent girl before me.

My chest lifted and my shoulders rose as I took a deep breath and handed the flower back to Machi.

"Someone worked hard on that, wouldn't want it to get dirty." I commented while picking another from the box between us.

"It's not perfect," Monotone words caught my attention. I had to glance back at Machi to make sure it really was her that spoke.

Her eyes were now downcast, probably mentally taking the paper art apart one fold at a time. Her meaning registered in my mind and I felt the need to stick up for the crinkly art work.

"Well, none of these are perfect," I motioned to the box before scratching my head. "Just because that one looks different doesn't make it any less art. Heck, I can barely make paper air planes; the person who made that is a freaking Picasso."

"Picasso painted abstracts…" Machi voiced in confusion.

"Er, my point would be…Picasso went his own way in art, right? Painting in abstract where all other artists were painting nicely cut, full pictures." My words sounded like rubbish to my own ears. Machi's blank face didn't help my feeling like a blubbering idiot.

"Forget it." I turned back to the wall and continued my job of posting the flowers.

Quietly, Machi stepped up to stand beside me, her attention solely on the paper in her hands. "So in a batch of regular artists…mine is the Picasso?"

I watched as her eyes now observed the flower curiously, her brown hair sliding across her shoulders as she suddenly looked up to me. I smiled warmly before nodding.

"Sometimes it's good to be different."

Her expression was innocent as she took in the words and nodded. "Thank you."

"Come on girls, the flowers aren't going to hang themselves!" Our teacher reprimanded as he walked down the hall. "Kuragi, go over by the window and get the streamers, will you?"

Silently, Machi left my side as I continued the mundane task. If only I knew how to whistle, maybe then it wouldn't have been such a drag.

As I was half way through the box, one of the girls from the class came up to me. Her hair tasseled from working with the streamers that people were hanging on the fans, she seemed abnormally rosy for a class set to doing on hand work.

"We ran out of glitter for the posters, could you go to the supply room and get some gold, purple, and orange? Oh! And some more paper so we can make more streamers?"

Dropping the tape to the floor I nodded my head once in understanding. "Live to serve." I mumbled sarcastically once I was turning away and walking down the hall to the supply room at the other end of the building.

At least I had a different purpose. While passing an emptied hallway, I caught sight of Machi and Yuki talking together. I had to do a double take, having thought Machi was still at the other end of the hall working with the class.

After sneaking passed them, I wondered briefly at what I had seen. Yuki holding an origami flower and Machi looking quite embarrassed with rosy cheeks and a flustered expression.

The supply room was just up ahead, a blushing girl stood by the door with a sweet smile on her young face. She was rather short, possibly a freshman; though as I approached, she eyed me with a warning that belonged to a married woman protecting her husband.

Raising my eyebrows in mild amazement, I stopped a few steps away and waited for the person working in the supply room to hand the girl whatever it was she needed.

Once a stack of paper was in her hands along with a few glue sticks, she gave a warm smile to the supplier (who I was assuming was a guy) before ducking her head and running past me and turning the first corner that presented itself.

After watching her disappear around the corner, I turned an amused expression to the door of the supply room, only for it to fall away completely.

There, leaning languidly against the door frame with his arms crossed was…

"Haru…" His name left my lips before I could stop myself.

His eyes took me in, giving no allowance to what was going through his mind as we faced each other. My heart came alive then, rapidly pounding hot blood through my veins. The goose bumps resurfaced along my arms as he simply stared.

Suddenly he pushed himself to stand on his own, before turning to head inside the supply room. His hold on me relinquished so that I could breathe correctly again. How horrible; I didn't want to breathe correctly again! Before I could step forward, however, I had to stop and ask myself why I was there.

Paper and glitter. Paper and glitter. Paper and glitter.

"What do you need?" He questioned as I entered the doorway with my hands clasped together before me. His back was turned as he faced the wall of supplies; I took that as his way of ignoring me.

"Paper and glitter and…" I sealed my lips and bit down hard.

Slowly, he turned to stare at me over his shoulder. His eyebrow lifted. "And?"

Averting my eyes from his I shook my head, refusing to release my cursed lips. Turning back to the wall, he carefully pulled out the supplies I requested; somehow getting the colors correct even though I'd failed to tell him which.

Lifting his foot to rest on a chair he crossed his hands over his knee while leaning over his thigh to face in my direction. "Girls have been coming here all morning requesting those colors. I figured you wouldn't be any different."

Somehow the way he said those words didn't make me feel great. I dropped my head in turn.

The silence that followed intensified the beating of my heart in my ears. Miharu's words flashed in my mind and I asked myself the same question. When would I suck it up and face him? He's here; I'm here, right now.

"I'm sorry, Haru."

He kept his even stare on me; I could feel his unvoiced question and bit my lip in nervousness.

"You…have…done so much for me and I…" I dropped my head again, finding it difficult to meet his stare and hold it.

The chair squeaked and groaned as Haru pushed himself up from it and slid it to the side with his leg. Suddenly afraid he would leave I lifted my eyes to his face and found his attention solely focused on me. My heart thundered, my breathing hitched and suddenly my palms began to sweat as I hesitantly latched onto his eyes.

"I'm sorry," I breathed, my voice trembling from the raw emotions that rolled together inside of me.

There were many things left for questioning; I needed to forgive myself for everything I'd ever done. But…should I tell him?

Now?

"You do something that no one else has ever been able to do…" Taking a step forward, I hesitantly dropped my eyes in fear that he would either push me away or walk away himself. "You keep me sane in the midst of all the insane. Your voice soothes me, your presence excites me, and your eyes…" I couldn't help but look up and stare into his dark orbs as he'd stayed to listen so far. The urge to touch him grew intensely, but I clenched both hands and kept them at my sides.

"They read me in ways that should be terrifying. Thank you for staying with me even when you could have moved on with your life. Thank you for bringing me back to Earth, when you could have just as easily left me to cope alone. I'm just sorry I've been so much trouble."

Vulnerable wouldn't even begin to describe how I felt those few seconds he simply stared in silence. His hand rested on my shoulder before he too took a step forward. "Are you finished?"

I couldn't trust my voice; instead, I nodded and felt a tear unexpectedly drop from my lashes.

"So am I." He whispered before leaning down and pressing his lips against mine. My legs began to shake; as he kissed me with a hunger that even the fiercest lion couldn't compete with. My hands gripped onto his sleeves though instinct warned me I could go no further. His warm hands on my shoulder and hip, his warm lips, his smell…they were enough.

At least I thought so before his tongue slipped into my mouth and his arm wrapped about my waist, pulling me flash up against his chest.

Startled, I pulled away from the kiss; which left us both gasping for air; to stare up at him with wide eyes.

"Haru, you…!" The sentence died when I realized the next words that would have followed were foreign to me.

Haru continued to stare down at me, a momentary flash of concern shining through. It took me a breath to come up with words I actually knew.

"We've…never done that before…right?" I looked to him unsurely, to which he shrugged and gently pulled me back into his embrace.

"We're doing it now," He murmured as he slowly slipped his arms around my waist again and rested his head on the base of my neck so that each breath he exhaled tickled my skin.

Our embrace, like the unfinished sentence, felt unfamiliar. But, soon our bodies held onto each other tightly and I found I didn't care.

"Let's go." He spoke suddenly against my neck before kissing it gently.

His touch sent pleasuring shivers up my spine making it difficult to think clearly. "Go where?"

"Anywhere private," He remarked, lifting his head to stare at the open hallway behind me.

I could only laugh nervously at his dead serious tone. "What, a closet room isn't private enough for you?"

A thoughtful silence followed my words before his arms removed themselves from around me and started to close the open door.

"Haru!" I exclaimed just before he closed the door all the way.

* * *

"Maybe I'm being totally naïve in trusting my future to one guy in high school. I could name plenty of other girls who have done the same and winded up regretting it. Would you believe me if I told you it's different with him?" I smiled to myself. "I wouldn't go so far as to say he loves me yet. But the feelings that are there are true. So, I told Takeshi that I'd look forward to visiting him next summer. Moving in with a 'just married' couple wouldn't make anyone happy in my opinion. Maybe Haru would be able to come with me next summer and the two could meet. I don't think Takeshi is ready to meet him just yet anyway; he'd be comparing our relationship to his and that's just scary."

A soft breeze blew past, causing some strands of hair to cross over my face. Pulling them back, I smiled sadly down at the shrine.

"I think you would have found him interesting, I really do. Haru told me that you weren't too impressed by him but I don't believe it. Maybe he was shy?" I chuckled at the thought.

"Things haven't worked out with Risu. After Kimbrel did what everyone said he would, she just went on to finding one jerk after the next. That's not the happiest of news, but she was someone you liked so I thought you should know. I am sorry I couldn't stop her. Maybe if I did more than just think about people I could stop a lot of things."

The conversation began to turn sour, so I shook my head and smoothly changed subjects.

"Airesth and Haku are engaged. Can you believe it? I would have thought Kaze and Kovu would tie the knot first, but those two are just a bundle of surprises. The family is doing well, Telane has learned to read and write and Miharu…well, Aunt Mimi, I'm sure tells you all about Miharu. She's going to be one bossy wife, I'll tell you that much."

My smile slowly faltered as I knelt down on the ground to be level with the photograph of a smiling face.

"I miss you Mom. Every day there's something that will happen where the first thing I want to do is ask your advice. For so long I've turned to you…it's difficult to suddenly have to stop. And…I'm sorry for everything. Haru tells me I can't blame myself, that I shouldn't blame myself, but I can't help it. You're my _Mom_. No one on Earth could ever replace you and I _hate_ myself for not coming to you sooner."

Tears flowed freely from my eyes and I ducked my head to let them fall.

"I pray that you'll continue to watch over Takeshi and I. He's doing well with his…fiancé…heh, that's so weird, he actually has one."

I lifted my head with a clear resolution to say what I had been beating around.

"I love you Mom. And I promise you," I reached forward and placed a long stemmed rose before the shrine. "I will come back and visit you soon."

As I placed my hand over my mouth and blew a kiss to my mother, Haru waited just outside the cemetery gates with his hands in his pockets and his eyes focused on me. As soon as I crossed the property entrance and stood before him, he held out his hand, and with a genuine smile, I took it.


End file.
